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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my family threw me a surprise party for my 29th Birthday. My brother-in-law sent me a text telling me they were all waiting for me to arrive. Thinking it was at my sister's home, I drove two hours there. It was actually at my parents' house. I missed my party and they ate my cake. FML

#7589871
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27609) - you deserved it (8350)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a message from my ex saying how sorry he was for everything he did. He also said that if he wasn't getting married and having a kid we could still be together. We broke up a year ago. FML

#7584201
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27097) - you deserved it (2510)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - love - by nubbins (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML

#7584154
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (9726)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - intimacy - by mairelys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my crush went on webcam on MSN. He looked really adorable, so I took about 6 screen shots and copied them into paint. I accidentally took a screenshot of my screen with all the pictures on paint and copied it into the conversation. FML

#7575221
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7466) - you deserved it (42749)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by 420dits (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I discovered that my mom and her disgusting mess of a boyfriend refer to his penis as "the monkey." And she says that I hate him because I'M immature. FML

#7565920
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20555) - you deserved it (2455)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - intimacy - by emergency (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, to my surprise my girlfriend said, "I've never felt this way before." We have been dating for six months, and I knew that I loved her, so I replied, "Me neither, I love you." There was a long awkward pause. Turns out, she was talking about her abnormally painful period cramps. FML

#7551805
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32562) - you deserved it (4380)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by dan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

#7526935
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26436) - you deserved it (5724)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:15pm - health - by Queasy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

#7518795
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36916) - you deserved it (6078)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while grooming my horse, a spider crawled onto my ear. As if that was bad enough, I'm extremely arachnophobic, so I shrieked out of habit, which in turn caused my horse to freak out and kick me. FML

Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML

#7502542
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32054) - you deserved it (2445)

On 01/22/2010 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I ran 5 miles to catch the bus I take to university after missing my connection. When I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my U-Pass on my desk at home. On top of the assignment that was due. FML

#7493259
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25422) - you deserved it (8131)

On 01/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by noooooo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

#7483362
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11440) - you deserved it (109808)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself and it came down too. FML

#7475785
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (32895)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by jalapeno_popper (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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