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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19960) - you deserved it (67453)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

#2634105
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53298) - you deserved it (4298)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by KL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

#2569005
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55264) - you deserved it (3889)

On 06/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by doubleds (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

#2489611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12824) - you deserved it (32593)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:50am - money - by steph (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML

#2427031
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38679) - you deserved it (7817)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:39am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

#2424875
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68168) - you deserved it (4892)

On 05/30/2009 at 2:52am - intimacy - by nevergoingonabusagain (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while getting ready for work I realized all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale which confirmed I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML

#2390335
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8699) - you deserved it (41228)

On 05/28/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by pathetic (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

#2376689
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62833) - you deserved it (5475)

On 05/28/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I sent a forward to the ladies at my office. When I scrolled down I noticed my personal emails from my best friend were attached. They go into great detail about the sex I had last night, when I was planning on dumping my boyfriend and that I suspected I had an anal fissure. FML

#2373728
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7995) - you deserved it (50171)

On 05/28/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by crazybiotch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went hiking at a park by my house with my camera to do some still life. On my way home I noticed some tree blossoms in someone's backyard and tried to take pictures of them over their fence. In minutes, I was approached and interrogated by cops because they thought I was a peeping tom. FML

Today, my mom informed me that she wouldn't be joining the rest of the girls in the limo ride to the church for my wedding ceremony because she wants to have her car with her. Why? Because she is planning to leave my wedding reception half way through to go home and take her dog out to pee. FML

#2357341
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (3771)

On 05/27/2009 at 9:40pm - animals - by KitKat270 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my crush waving me over from the other end of the parking lot. I ran quickly to greet him, but in my excitement didn't take note of the giant Hummer backing out. I broke two ribs and all my crush was trying to do was warn me of the moving vehicle I was about to run into. FML

#2332954
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35051) - you deserved it (14745)

On 05/27/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by Lmop68 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, on my way out of the subway station, I noticed an older woman standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs with a large cart. I went up to her and asked if she needed help getting it up the stairs. She looks me up and down and says, "No, not from you." FML

#2317005
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40680) - you deserved it (3633)

On 05/26/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by yaa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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