FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML

by ouch / 06/26/2010 at 10:23am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, I realized that when my boyfriend said "I'll love you forever" what he really meant was "I'll love you until I meet your significantly more attractive sister" FML

by Crumpet / 06/25/2010 at 3:08am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML

by kbartlett86 / 06/24/2010 at 4:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I had to buy a wrist brace for a repetitive strain injury. I got the injury because I was knitting too much. I'm 22. FML

by GrannyAt22 / 06/21/2010 at 9:28pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health

Today, I found out what cat food tastes like mixed with mayo, hot sauce, and between two perfectly toasted pieces of rye bread. My cat found out what tuna tastes like instead of her normal food. FML

by kasai_x0x / 06/19/2010 at 12:27pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I was unbearably hungry, so I went to Wendy's, bought myself a Baconator and took it outside to eat on the patio. One bite in, I went back to grab a few napkins. Within seconds of my departure, a seagull snatched it up. FML

by theorifice / 06/16/2010 at 12:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML

by anonymous / 06/11/2010 at 12:56am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I had to get an ultrasound, which required me to drink 3 glasses of water beforehand. The doctor said I had too much and told me to go pee out just a little and come back. It took a lot of effort to hold the rest in. The first thing she did when I got back was press on my abdomen. I peed myself. FML

by Aciliveth / 06/10/2010 at 12:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I found out the reason I can't get a job. My previous employer didn't know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML

by duko3000 / 06/06/2010 at 1:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my dad found and read my diary. Most of the entries were about how my father didn't respect my privacy. Then he phoned my aunt and read her passages from it. FML

by ugh / 06/05/2010 at 7:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my coworker told me she knew about my secret boyfriend because she has a "sixth sense" about these things. I'm too embarrassed to tell her I'm desperately single and the last date I went on was three years ago. FML

by single and not mingling / 06/04/2010 at 1:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was excited about showing everyone at work my new piercing. It's in an interesting place in my ear, and its not that common. Before I had the chance to tell anyone about it, someone asked "Are you wearing a hearing aid?" FML

by Kbizz / 06/02/2010 at 10:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I found out that my family hides food from me. FML

by Stupid_Chick / 05/31/2010 at 9:09pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health