FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my dad decided to take me to play golf to relieve the stress of recovering from a bad concussion. While teaching me to swing, he hit me in the head. FML

by meowcat101 / 08/21/2010 at 12:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he asked which girl I'd found out about. FML

by Sara246 / 08/19/2010 at 7:11pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I finally found my cellphone when I heard WHACKWHACKWHACK inside the washing machine. FML

by FreeToFly3733 / 08/19/2010 at 7:25am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Geek

Today, I gave blood. He sneezed while he stuck the needle in my arm. FML

by gorey / 08/18/2010 at 9:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2010 at 1:06pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I ran into my boyfriend at the mall, the same boyfriend that told me he was taking a family vacation to Mexico. FML

by tina / 08/17/2010 at 8:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, airport security took away my 32$ eyelash curler, because it could be used as a weapon. I miss the 90s. FML

by J.O.S / 08/17/2010 at 12:59am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

by ew. / 08/17/2010 at 12:28am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my friends thought it would be a good idea to make fun of a homeless man. I didn't fancy making fun of the less fortunate, so I stayed a bit back. Still, the homeless man didn't think it would matter to throw a rock at me after my buddies ran away. FML

by Yay..... / 08/17/2010 at 12:21am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML

by goodbye-college / 08/15/2010 at 12:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

by incestastic / 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

by Fire_Crotch / 08/14/2010 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

by FML / 08/12/2010 at 12:19pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy