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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML

#5972663
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26818) - you deserved it (6823)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML

#5959934
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50686) - you deserved it (9960)

On 10/23/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ashleyramsay (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and ipod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML

#5958359
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46020) - you deserved it (2655)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by abdominates (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

#5955590
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24178) - you deserved it (7550)

On 10/23/2009 at 4:56am - work - by BoogieCandy. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my grandfather's burial. As the family was about to leave, a great aunt came up to my skinny, tall and pretty cousin and told her, "Stay beautiful and kind." Then, she walked to me and said, "And you, Stay kind." FML

#5942198
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31500) - you deserved it (2999)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:26am - misc - by kthx (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

#5939502
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (4281)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Chris (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML

#5937926
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49680) - you deserved it (4743)

On 10/21/2009 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML

#5913755
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45127) - you deserved it (4202)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I told my girlfriend of eight months that if she didn't start taking my band's music seriously, we couldn't see each other anymore. She said fine, and I hugged her, but then she stood up and said 'I hope we can still be friends,' and walked out the door. FML

#5909113
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8945) - you deserved it (64824)

On 10/20/2009 at 2:51am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming "I meant it!" FML

#5902107
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31779) - you deserved it (7849)

On 10/19/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML

#5891401
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34571) - you deserved it (3779)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:08am - work - by worldsbestjobgonebad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML

#5876568
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9073) - you deserved it (48564)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad was supposed to come see me for our twice-a-year visit. He was 3 hours late. So I called, and asked him why he was late - he said 'Oh, something came up'. I asked him what was so important. Apparently, the garage needed cleaning. FML

#5874542
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28923) - you deserved it (1885)

On 10/18/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by karina17 - Canada (British Columbia)



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