FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I went to the orthodontist, and found out when I was supposed to get my braces off. His exact words, "You'll get them off around Christmas... but we're not sure what year." FML

by KenzoBVB / 09/01/2015 at 11:55pm / Canada / Health

Today, I put aside my weekend plans to help my aunt with the extermination guy spraying her new house down to prevent cockroaches. After he left, my aunt asked me to go in and turn off the lights because the fumes were very deadly. If I chose not to, she would tell my mom I did nothing all day. FML

by Rakib / 08/31/2015 at 1:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was talking to my mom about my issues with my girlfriend. While she was sympathizing, she slowly picked up my wallet, took $100 and left. FML

by FranchezDeVista / 08/30/2015 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, I realized I could make more money being on welfare than I can at my current job. FML

by Silver_Jet / 08/30/2015 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 8:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 1:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, I finished a big painting for art class. It's also the day my little brother decided it didn't have enough puke on it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 9:44am / Canada / Kids

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML

by Szaszaspasz / 08/24/2015 at 6:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my coworker called me a liar when I said I've been to New York. This is the same psycho who honestly expects me to believe that she and Brad Pitt have a "thing" and that he secretly communicates with her through interviews on TV. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2015 at 1:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

by FishFlingingMonkey / 08/21/2015 at 11:55pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my daughter that we're going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog that we buried in our back yard last week so it can come along. FML

by GlueAndCarrots / 08/19/2015 at 10:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 2:32am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love