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FMLs submitted from Belgium

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

#20405613
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10962) - you deserved it (57961)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12436) - you deserved it (35981)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML

#19679809
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8264) - you deserved it (25095)

On 05/25/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by MySummerinEurope (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

#19592995
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26566) - you deserved it (4748)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was on the bus, when the inspector asked to see my ticket. I couldn't find it, and ended up being kicked off the bus while a few of the other passengers jeered at me. I found my ticket on the long walk home, buried in my pocket. FML

#19288997
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18988) - you deserved it (3988)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by fuck the fucking cops (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, my boyfriend decided to piss in the shower while I was standing next to him. I did not mind, until I realised the water flows away incredibly slowly. I had to stand in his piss while the shower filled itself with the sweet odor of fresh urine. FML

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

#19201046
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28006) - you deserved it (3961)

On 03/02/2012 at 3:30am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

#19042129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29900) - you deserved it (2359)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)

Today, I told a co-worker to "lighten up, and stop wearing black all the time, it makes you look depressed." I didn't know his father had died the week before. FML

#18769470
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9608) - you deserved it (36879)

On 01/10/2012 at 8:32pm - work - by Jim (man) - Belgium

Today, I got punched in the face by a drunk because I couldn't give him any cigarettes. I don't smoke. FML

#18619615
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (2354)

On 12/26/2011 at 10:15pm - misc - by Jbs4lf (man) - Belgium

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9180) - you deserved it (35788)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium

Today, my bike got stolen because I left my keys in the lock. On my way home, I saw my bike in front of a store, unlocked. I jumped on it, only to get punched in the face by the guy that had taken it, and got it stolen from me again. FML

#17201807
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35329) - you deserved it (12819)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:34am - misc - by dullstuff (man) - Belgium (Liege)

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

#17027356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40069) - you deserved it (2397) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)



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