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FMLs submitted from Belgium

Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML

#21454749
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33188) - you deserved it (1575)

On 08/11/2015 at 11:30am - misc - by DevastatedWoman (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

#21453197
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21102) - you deserved it (4228)

On 08/07/2015 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by Gonzales (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my intern was given his own office. I have been asking to move out of my cubicle for nearly four years. FML

#21434251
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24940) - you deserved it (2087)

On 06/30/2015 at 5:57am - work - by bosslady (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML

#21434188
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24029) - you deserved it (1884)

On 06/30/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Claudine (woman) - Belgium (Liege)

Today, after being a resident DJ at a local club for over 4 years, I got fired. Not because I'm bad at what I do, but because my boss thinks I'm not 'having fun like the other DJs'. And by 'having fun' he means that I don't drink enough. I got fired for not being an alcoholic. FML

#21413333
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (1940)

On 05/20/2015 at 11:56pm - work - by SFBEL - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I managed to throw my back out by blowing my nose. FML

#21409404
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25155) - you deserved it (2849)

On 05/13/2015 at 9:57am - health - by Hlaalette (woman) - Belgium

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

#21392323
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (2716)

On 04/12/2015 at 11:42am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML

#21347212
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (2671)

On 01/31/2015 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium

Today, I was accused of letting my dog take a shit on the sidewalk and not picking it up. My dog's a chihuahua, and the turd was almost longer than he is. I got fined anyway. FML

#21339093
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30424) - you deserved it (5381) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2015 at 4:12pm - animals - by Titatoum - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML

#21334989
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31971) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:03am - kids - by StabStab (man) - Belgium

Today, my girlfriend's dad called to say she wasn't allowed to come with me on a three-day trip on New Year's. He waited until Christmas to say it, even though we booked and paid for the trip nearly a month ago. Now he ruined both holidays. FML

#21323987
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34325) - you deserved it (2941)

On 12/25/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by sneeuwbal - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I went out to a bar with some of my friends. They're all in committed relationships, but every single one of them got hit on. I'm single, and yet again, nobody even said hi to me. FML

#21319659
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32080) - you deserved it (3122)

On 12/18/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)



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