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FMLs submitted from Austria

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
190 comments

Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML

#20786008
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35638) - you deserved it (6828)

On 07/16/2013 at 8:01am - misc - by muffin (woman) - Austria

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20640490
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39568) - you deserved it (14839)

On 05/04/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by Tickettoride (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML

#20503623
94 comments

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

#19881083
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27058) - you deserved it (1817)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, I trimmed my beard. When I showed my wife, she said, "Yeah, but you still look like a serial killer." FML

#19797072
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22187) - you deserved it (4888)

On 06/16/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Schaf_12 (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

#19780392
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25852) - you deserved it (2141)

On 06/13/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by eww - Austria (Wien)

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

#19769177
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (5027)

On 06/11/2012 at 3:14am - animals - by ILoveAnimals (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13092) - you deserved it (43351)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML

#19656281
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (4121)

On 05/21/2012 at 8:10am - health - by medosin (woman) - Austria

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

#19636486
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22999) - you deserved it (3127)

On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

#18029483
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29354) - you deserved it (18726)

On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

#17104731
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32177) - you deserved it (2455)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria



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