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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I spent 3 hours making a birthday card for my boyfriend, delicately cutting each letter out of printed coloured paper. He used it as a coffee coaster. FML

#2138443
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40072) - you deserved it (7134)

On 05/21/2009 at 5:11am - love - by astraboy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my cat was hit by a car. I took it to the vet expecting the worst but they told me that she’d be fine. I was so happy I didn't even mind paying the $50 bill. The next morning my cat was dead. Having her put down humanely would have cost $45, I paid $5 extra to have her die in my kitchen. FML

#2137962
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51130) - you deserved it (3457)

On 05/21/2009 at 4:06am - animals - by georgia819 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML

#2107196
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14676) - you deserved it (45853)

On 05/20/2009 at 5:07am - animals - by catlover (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

#1958201
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12463) - you deserved it (36840)

On 05/15/2009 at 6:20am - kids - by Sodge (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML

#1925712
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47914) - you deserved it (11507)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in my class I was nominated for the guy with the worst hairdo. I don't know what is worse, the fact that I was nominated or the fact that I felt let down when I did not win. FML

#1744695
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37424) - you deserved it (6927)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:20am - misc - by GK (man) - Australia

Today, I was ordering some clothes from Abercrombie online and I went to measure my bust to check what size I am in American. I got my measurement, checked what size it would be and the size of my bust was not even listed on the website. Great. Now even Abercrombie thinks I have small tits. FML

#1684476
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44596) - you deserved it (8091)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:40am - misc - by frankie034 (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

#1452410
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59800) - you deserved it (27541)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

#1449103
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41530) - you deserved it (5398)

On 04/29/2009 at 4:06am - health - by Jake (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while at work in a subscription TV call center, a 71 year old male customer went into explicit detail about the Adult's Only programming that he enjoys, including all the kinky things he learns from said programming and tries out on his 70 year old wife. FML

#1416209
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64215) - you deserved it (5693)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:44am - intimacy - by Lockie (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

#1384927
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9273) - you deserved it (47721)

On 04/27/2009 at 5:14am - misc - by maddie94 (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, as a respected artist I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting technique when I accidentally washed my paintbrush in my coffee instead of my paint water. They waited until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML

#1284029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36837) - you deserved it (11374)

On 04/24/2009 at 5:04am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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