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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was trying to get money out of an ATM. It gave me twenty dollars short, so I started hitting it and kicking it, just as the Chubb security guys came up to refill it. I got tazered. Twice. FML

#4595424
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19857) - you deserved it (40928)

On 08/17/2009 at 6:42am - money - by SnakeEyes (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML

#4594322
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7142) - you deserved it (45726)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by veevee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the movies alone after the boy I was seeing told me he was busy studying for exams. I found him making out with another girl whilst in the queue. When I confronted him by text he denied that it was him. I saw him check the text and reply. FML

#4545091
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42195) - you deserved it (3875)

On 08/15/2009 at 6:22am - misc - by pink_cupcakes - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

#4516147
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41976) - you deserved it (6622)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94140) - you deserved it (4541)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML

#4468950
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (4925)

On 08/12/2009 at 3:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was alone with a work acquaintance at lunch. A noise came from his pocket; he whipped out his iPod Touch and said "Sorry, I have to take this," before walking away with the iPod to his ear. Not only did he not want to talk to me, he thought I was stupid enough to confuse an iPod with a phone. FML

#4446947
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40380) - you deserved it (13347)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:17am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I competed in a ballet competition and made the finals, while I was on stage awaiting the results, I sneezed really loudly and snot went flying all over the stage. When I went to accept my award the woman presenting it refused to shake my hand. FML

#4389792
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31826) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML

#4331157
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59875) - you deserved it (3591)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Shopgirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal. My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women. FML

#4329810
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54648) - you deserved it (2525)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:10am - misc - by slamo (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML

#4329050
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59925) - you deserved it (2407)

On 08/06/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by whatismydadthinking (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

#4326730
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45613) - you deserved it (15400)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to my grandfathers' funeral. As I stood there, bawling my eyes out, my aunt came over and put her arm around me. She leaned her head close to mine. I assumed she was going to say something comforting, instead she asked where I'd bought my shoes from. FML

#4251374
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39765) - you deserved it (2694)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:04am - misc - by whitneyy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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