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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML

#21299484
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (7144)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML

#21299468
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27295) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/15/2014 at 9:43am - misc - by coveholli - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

#21299204
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28820) - you deserved it (2340)

On 11/14/2014 at 9:18pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

#21295236
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33235) - you deserved it (3236)

On 11/09/2014 at 3:37am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

#21293904
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38286) - you deserved it (3445)

On 11/07/2014 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

#21293843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33451) - you deserved it (3108)

On 11/07/2014 at 12:47am - health - by jj - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36495) - you deserved it (2431)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35621) - you deserved it (8618)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32618) - you deserved it (2907)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35103) - you deserved it (3901)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was pulled over and fined $100 for driving without a license, as I'd accidentally left home without my wallet. I later found my wallet wedged beside my car seat, where it had been the entire time. FML

#21288966
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31663) - you deserved it (5970)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:35am - money - by emptypockets - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

#21288916
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28287) - you deserved it (3710)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

#21287500
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34480) - you deserved it (6658)

On 10/29/2014 at 4:19am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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