FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to disable my iPod Touch for 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, I went to enter my password. I missed a number accidentally. 50 minutes to go. FML

by iDisable / 06/18/2011 at 8:27pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML

by stepmom / 06/18/2011 at 5:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I was passed over for the job of my dreams. I now have to watch as a girl I have on Facebook - a total moron - boasts daily about scoring the position instead. Turns out the interviewer was her uncle. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2011 at 12:50am / Australia / Work

Today, my boss gave me an "All you need to know about grammar" book. FML

by illiterate / 06/17/2011 at 12:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my mum's boyfriend came back from a job up-state. He is now walking around the house in boxers to "show off his tan". He has a beer gut and a hairy back. FML

by disgusteddaughter / 06/13/2011 at 4:58am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

by El Stupido / 06/12/2011 at 9:51am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

by pleasestop / 06/11/2011 at 4:48am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my Facebook was hacked. The hacker messaged all my online friends, explaining that "I" was overseas, had run out of money and needed help. Not one person cared enough to respond. I guess the hacker picked the wrong target. FML

by Username / 06/07/2011 at 8:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Money

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

by ... / 06/06/2011 at 3:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my sister drove past me while i was walking home in the rain, she honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML

by myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet / 06/03/2011 at 4:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I read my university's newsletter. Apparently we're starting up a "buddy" system for international students. I'm signing up, because this will help me complete my goal of making my first friend at university. FML

by loner / 05/31/2011 at 1:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2011 at 4:28am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

by Alice / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work