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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

#21330517
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37237) - you deserved it (5275)

On 01/04/2015 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I bit into a piece of homegrown lettuce from my garden. Apparently, I'm not the only one to enjoy my produce, because I took a bite out of a small caterpillar. FML

#21330219
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28795) - you deserved it (9365)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:42pm - misc - by Malina - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

#21329522
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27477) - you deserved it (2202)

On 01/02/2015 at 7:11pm - animals - by cat co-parent - Australia

Today, I went on a first date, only for us to find the restaurant wasn't open on New Year's Day. My date suggested going to the mall instead. We drove in our own cars. Me: the mall, him: home. I waited for 40 minutes before realising he'd stood me up. Happy New Year to me. FML

#21328493
77 comments

Today, I had numerous calls from people saying they need a baby sitter, because "they know I wasn't invited anywhere". FML

#21328036
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28589) - you deserved it (2199)

On 12/31/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Yeah-It's-Just-Me - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

#21327810
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30115) - you deserved it (2674)

On 12/31/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my obsessive stalker of an ex found my girlfriend on Facebook and sent her a message saying just ":)". For some reason I'll never understand, she took this as a sign that I'd just slept with my ex. Now I'm single, and my ex is probably planning her next move. FML

#21324775
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33332) - you deserved it (2559)

On 12/26/2014 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML

#21323138
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30755) - you deserved it (2333)

On 12/24/2014 at 7:03am - misc - by jflac (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

#21321989
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34459) - you deserved it (3547)

On 12/22/2014 at 9:24am - work - by Bahhumbug (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I waited thirty minutes for a bus that stopped running three weeks ago. FML

#21321887
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26713) - you deserved it (5931)

On 12/22/2014 at 2:45am - misc - by Stupid - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I noticed that even though I got all my Christmas shopping done a month earlier than usual, I forgot to put anything in the mail. FML

#21321340
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (7355)

On 12/21/2014 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

#21320813
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31783) - you deserved it (2414)

On 12/20/2014 at 9:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML



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