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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

#15281927
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15265) - you deserved it (30800)

On 03/12/2011 at 5:53am - misc - by Nerrh - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

#15215945
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32855) - you deserved it (4148)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - money - by notsosmart - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML

#15195010
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16390) - you deserved it (9604)

On 03/04/2011 at 8:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

#15193678
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15135) - you deserved it (26382)

On 03/04/2011 at 2:13am - work - by sharni88 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realised how poor I am when I found myself fishing out a two dollar coin someone had left behind in a public toilet bowl. FML

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

#15149295
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35957) - you deserved it (3036)

On 02/28/2011 at 6:21am - love - by misswhiskers (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had my friends help me put on a suit of full plate armor for a medieval re-enactment. After the battle, my friends left. I can't get the armor off by myself and will probably have to sleep in it. FML

#15136190
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24922) - you deserved it (9137)

On 02/27/2011 at 5:10am - misc - by hurley (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

#15112625
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32875) - you deserved it (4260)

On 02/25/2011 at 8:25am - misc - by WhatsThatSmell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I sent an email to a girl I like about how I really feel about her. She later replied "Real funny, tell Michael to change his password!" FML

#15110567
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29716) - you deserved it (4293)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:40am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a missed call from a lady at an employment agency asking why I hadn't turned up to an information session for a potential job. Yesterday, the same lady told me the job position was canceled. FML

#15087030
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (2206)

On 02/23/2011 at 2:10am - work - by ellie (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML

#15061511
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28030) - you deserved it (3374)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Josie (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

#15049361
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (3310)

On 02/20/2011 at 6:49am - work - by lisha182 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML

#15048798
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6398) - you deserved it (41901)

On 02/20/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by O.o (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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