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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

#21005939
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29581) - you deserved it (7674)

On 12/26/2013 at 7:08am - love - by anon - Australia

Today, while staying at my brother's place for the Christmas holidays, I had to leave because he threatened to "take me outside". Apparently he doesn't like being corrected on whether a certain car has a long wheel base version, so I guess the family Christmas is over. FML

#21005745
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26957) - you deserved it (3123)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by detour165 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML

#21002184
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41661) - you deserved it (3415)

On 12/23/2013 at 5:44am - kids - by rejected (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML

#21000984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36907) - you deserved it (2581)

On 12/22/2013 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML

#20998308
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34058) - you deserved it (3945)

On 12/19/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, rather than buying one pork chop big enough for myself, I bought two smaller chops just so the cashier wouldn't think I was eating by myself. FML

#20996744
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33006) - you deserved it (7048)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:30am - love - by LonelyPorkChop - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

#20994572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34862) - you deserved it (11598)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:34am - kids - by failedfather (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

#20993906
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35313) - you deserved it (2889)

On 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm - kids - by lavenderpiss (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, I misplaced my phone at small house party. I found it later, but not before being called a sick bastard by my crush. It seems one of my "friends" sent her a cock pic with my phone, and now she wants nothing to do with me. FML

#20990280
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38376) - you deserved it (4182)

On 12/12/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by spastic hardon (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

#20989886
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35882) - you deserved it (4767)

On 12/12/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a customer threatened to come back later and shoot the whole place up. Why? I didn't give him a discount on his beer. My boss's reaction when I called the police: "Why didn't you give him the discount?!" Last week he bitched me out for letting a girl off for being a few cents short on hers. FML

#20983086
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38267) - you deserved it (2611)

On 12/06/2013 at 6:37pm - work - by eat my fucking ass, boss (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML



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