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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my bosses were boasting about their work-funded retreat, including the $1,800 bottle of wine the company paid for. This would be fine if they hadn't just told me there are no funds to pay me for the work they've got me doing. We are also the biggest company in our industry. FML

#21440819
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25641) - you deserved it (1741)

On 07/13/2015 at 1:06am - work - by Wolfrunner87 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML

Today, after coming home from an AFL match in Melbourne at about 11pm, I saw a woman asleep on the train as we neared the end of the line. Being a nice person, I went to wake her, to which she started screaming and trying to punch me. FML

#21439964
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22160) - you deserved it (2647)

On 07/11/2015 at 8:51am - misc - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML

#21439888
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14195) - you deserved it (33775)

On 07/11/2015 at 2:13am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (2387)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML

#21438523
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23885) - you deserved it (1666)

On 07/08/2015 at 1:45pm - love - by welpwelpwelp - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML

#21436121
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21240) - you deserved it (6025)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I quit my job so I wouldn't have to work with this one complete fuck-wit anymore. I told him what I thought of him, and then walked away giving him the middle finger. Turns out, he is a regular customer at my new job. Everyone loves him and thinks he's awesome. FML

#21435181
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25086) - you deserved it (9488)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:49am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

#21434600
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26148) - you deserved it (4576)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm - work - by stink - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

#21434454
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23634) - you deserved it (1654)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:26pm - work - by sickatwokr - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband asked me to buy a different brand of dish soap, as the one he was using wasn't working. After a quick look, I had to agree. The lemon cordial he had been using, while tasting nice, didn't really help clean the dishes. FML

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

#21432649
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27100) - you deserved it (2050)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was complimented on my improved performance over the last 3 months. My boss said he doesn't know what I've done to improve, but to keep it up. I'd only started looking for another job, and stopped giving a shit. FML

#21431603
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (1960)

On 06/25/2015 at 3:06am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)



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