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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I made a typo in a line of code, bringing the company website down. Our admin was already pissed about having to work over Christmas, and he started yelling at me and ended up punching my supervisor when he got between us. Pretty sure my screw up indirectly got the poor guy fired. FML

#21507378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20658) - you deserved it (3046)

On 12/24/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by Kat - Australia

Today, my boss thought it would be a great idea to delay paying me until after Christmas. There goes rent, bills, food and of course Christmas presents. FML

#21506788
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23786) - you deserved it (1581)

On 12/23/2015 at 2:45am - money - by JunkDex (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent the only money I had left for lunch only to take two bites before a seagull snatched my burger from my hands. I had to shamefully start walking back to work with a pair of girls laughing at me and an empty stomach. FML

#21505447
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21603) - you deserved it (1690)

On 12/19/2015 at 9:30am - animals - by shibs - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was giving my friend a crash course in Star Wars over coffee. As I was telling him about the primitive and savage Sand People, some attention-seeking tit came out of nowhere and called me racist. Apparently she thought I was talking about people from the Middle East. FML

#21505182
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (1940)

On 12/18/2015 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I didn't secure my friend's wheelchair well enough to my car roof before giving him a ride. It flew off mid-drive and we still haven't found it. FML

#21505056
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19498) - you deserved it (6712)

On 12/18/2015 at 3:33am - misc - by Zyopy (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my sister shaved a chunk of my hair off while I was sleeping. I'm getting married in three days. FML

#21504961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24270) - you deserved it (1456)

On 12/17/2015 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my daughter asked me if we could adopt a child. I said no, since we can't afford to support another child. She then asked me if she could just adopt another dad instead. FML

#21504401
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20364) - you deserved it (1980)

On 12/16/2015 at 10:28am - kids - by anon (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

#21503854
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25989) - you deserved it (5453)

On 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm - intimacy - by Moth_Balled (man) - Australia

Today, my step-brother went grocery shopping alone for the first time. He came home with Ramen and 14 bottles of chocolate milk, which will expire by the 20th. My step-dad is insisting we eat it so it doesn't go to waste. FML

#21503235
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20624) - you deserved it (1717)

On 12/13/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by noodlesandmilk (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is a full-on, wants-to-be-banged-by-a-horse furry. FML

#21503215
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25316) - you deserved it (3007)

On 12/13/2015 at 6:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while making less than minimum wage at McDonalds, I had to dispose of a grown man's soiled underwear that he left on the bathroom floor under a pile of toilet paper. It isn't even the grossest thing I've seen in my six months of employment. FML

#21502162
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21239) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/10/2015 at 5:47am - work - by WishIWasADogMinder (woman) - Australia

Today, while working as a barista, a customer asked me for "gluten free milk". When I told her that most milk is gluten free, she flew into a fit of rage and cussed me out for being a "cheeky bitch". My manager then lectured me about not being "patronising" to customers. FML

#21502119
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21080) - you deserved it (2500)

On 12/10/2015 at 12:29am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got fired from my job because I closed the store 84 seconds early. They found out because the state manager was sitting across the street with binoculars watching me. FML

#21501348
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25491) - you deserved it (3601)

On 12/08/2015 at 1:17am - work - by unemployed-dude - Australia (Victoria)



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