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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML

#20524027
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22753) - you deserved it (3451)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:12am - animals - by thecatlady (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28974) - you deserved it (3176)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

#20519879
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37473) - you deserved it (2420)

On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she find someone better than me. FML

#20518428
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42037) - you deserved it (3537)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML

#20517994
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10911) - you deserved it (44120)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, the arts company I work for cancelled our 8 pm sold-out outdoor performance at 7:30 due to rain, and will have to reticket 550 patrons. I'm the only person in the office trained in ticketing. It stopped raining 10 minutes after we cancelled it. FML

#20517422
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27302) - you deserved it (2189)

On 02/22/2013 at 10:48am - work - by Wilf (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

#20516248
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30848) - you deserved it (2170)

On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21073) - you deserved it (2184)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML

#20513141
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32168) - you deserved it (3643)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24421) - you deserved it (3455)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

#20509972
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24220) - you deserved it (5914)

On 02/16/2013 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24155) - you deserved it (5010)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia



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