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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, after being with the company for over 3 years, I realised nobody really knows my name. This was after my boss was walking around a new staff member and couldn't introduce me. Neither could my colleague, who's been sitting next to me for the last 6 months. FML

#21358494
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33453) - you deserved it (3792)

On 02/18/2015 at 7:35am - work - by lonergirl - Australia

Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML

#21357201
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34963) - you deserved it (2844)

On 02/16/2015 at 7:57am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I threw up on a police officer who was trying to do a random breath test. I wasn't drunk or hungover. I'm pregnant and suffering morning sickness. FML

#21356993
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35579) - you deserved it (2404)

On 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, once again I tried to convince my dad to stop smoking. And once again, while I was speaking, he lit up a cigarette and smoked until my asthma flared up and I was wheezing so hard that I had to leave the room. FML

#21356583
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35844) - you deserved it (3945)

On 02/15/2015 at 9:52am - love - by =( (woman) - Australia

Today, while at the office, a surprise Valentine's gift arrived for me, the first I've ever received. It was a box of heart-shaped cookies. From my mother. I'm 39. FML

#21355623
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29975) - you deserved it (3604)

On 02/13/2015 at 10:49pm - love - by FMAhole - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

#21355097
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (2961)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:59pm - money - by NotMacklemore - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my dad ate my rabbit when I was 6 years old. He'd told me it ran away. I can't be mad at my dad; he's been dead for 5 years. FML

#21353772
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35265) - you deserved it (2716)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm - animals - by jackskellington - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML

#21352803
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33241) - you deserved it (4157)

On 02/09/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33430) - you deserved it (3516)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook of me at a club with some friends. The first comment it got was "Just got a stiffy. 10/10." Thanks for that, dad. FML

#21351395
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30904) - you deserved it (3437)

On 02/07/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by gali-ma (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML

#21350702
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30089) - you deserved it (2226)

On 02/06/2015 at 12:16am - animals - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31520) - you deserved it (5353)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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