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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

#21287500
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34524) - you deserved it (6665)

On 10/29/2014 at 4:19am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I'm so out of shape, I started wheezing on my way to check my mailbox. Not my physical mailbox, either; my email inbox on the phone I'd left on the table at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21285495
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22415) - you deserved it (21269)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was shopping at my workplace, out of uniform, with my husband. A customer recognised me and wanted me to serve him, but I couldn't since we can be fired for doing so while off-duty. He complained to my manager, who wasted no time publicly bitching me out. FML

#21285416
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33688) - you deserved it (2168)

On 10/26/2014 at 1:53am - work - by iskiel (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

#21284616
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35041) - you deserved it (2765)

On 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

#21283412
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33892) - you deserved it (3813)

On 10/22/2014 at 9:33pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML

#21282362
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32900) - you deserved it (2330)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML

#21280293
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35912) - you deserved it (2163)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:20am - misc - by Queensland - Australia

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46436) - you deserved it (3308)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

#21276854
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36747) - you deserved it (3578)

On 10/13/2014 at 11:42am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

#21270586
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36811) - you deserved it (6940)

On 10/04/2014 at 9:57am - love - by cuteloser (man) - Australia

Today, my insane roommate yelled at me for using the word "stupid" because apparently it is a slur against mentally disabled people. Later, she went on and on about this "queer" club she's attending to meet "queer" people to talk about "queer" issues. She's not gay. I am. FML

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

#21264094
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36002) - you deserved it (2952)

On 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia

Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML

#21263705
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30483) - you deserved it (18354)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:48am - misc - by shelookslikemiley - Australia



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