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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I went into work early so I could get my work all done and leave on time, rather than staying back. The later shift starters had other ideas and called in sick. FML

#21394245
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27357) - you deserved it (2170)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by Devildrake (man) - Australia

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37115) - you deserved it (3111)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

#21391444
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27348) - you deserved it (2130)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:03pm - misc - by pukeytimes - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

Today, I did the smart thing and bought an umbrella before walking to work. My efforts proved useless when a truck ran through a huge puddle and drenched me from head to toe. My underwear was still wet 4 hours later. FML

#21389865
49 comments

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

#21386898
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30240) - you deserved it (3765)

On 04/03/2015 at 6:44am - misc - by clothesthief - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

#21386402
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27172) - you deserved it (4569)

On 04/02/2015 at 8:20am - misc - by Repethetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (5521)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that when buying my $500 dollar dress I put my address as Austria instead of Australia. FML

#21384499
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26855) - you deserved it (12301)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:27pm - money - by post it - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

#21384435
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30096) - you deserved it (2641)

On 03/30/2015 at 9:52pm - intimacy - by oops (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29794) - you deserved it (2624)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my best friend went to my boss and offered to do my job for half the pay. FML

#21383169
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29607) - you deserved it (2340)

On 03/28/2015 at 7:44pm - work - by Haggis300 - Australia

Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML

#21382495
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12265) - you deserved it (40004)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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