Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my cat let out the biggest moan I have ever heard, while we were both in the living room. My dad heard and accused me of watching porn. FML

#21317874
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33904) - you deserved it (3006)

On 12/15/2014 at 11:07am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML

#21317815
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32867) - you deserved it (8909)

On 12/15/2014 at 6:59am - love - by LonelyGuy (man) - Australia

Today, it's been months since I dropped out of college to escape constantly being bullied and being miserable. Ever since then, I've been having recurring nightmares with the same people bullying me, after which I wake up crying and feeling miserable. My brain is a douchebag. FML

#21317204
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33815) - you deserved it (4561)

On 12/14/2014 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34594) - you deserved it (2862)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

#21316969
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33210) - you deserved it (4115)

On 12/13/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

#21316711
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (6173)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:03am - intimacy - by giantcuntflaps (woman) - Australia

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

#21316125
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29702) - you deserved it (2671)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:15am - kids - by Che_likes_you - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received a gift certificate from my grandmother for a local bookshop. Considering how broke I am, this would be a fantastic gift. If the bookshop in question wasn't a right-wing evangelical Christian Bookshop, and I wasn't Jewish. FML

#21315500
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28486) - you deserved it (3410)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:29am - misc - by Soverytired (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37705) - you deserved it (4033)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to cover his share of the rent because he didn't work during the week, saying business has been slow. I checked and found out he called in sick four times. He wanted to stay home and watch online gaming matches. FML

#21312891
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30658) - you deserved it (3396)

On 12/06/2014 at 11:52pm - misc - by he wasn't even playing - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got friendzoned by three different women. Each girl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. FML

#21309350
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32090) - you deserved it (9171)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:37am - love - by foreveralone (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation,, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML

#21307421
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31431) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/28/2014 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML

#21304340
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27117) - you deserved it (2106)

On 11/23/2014 at 5:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: