FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I went camping with my husband. We drove 11 hours to his favourite site before he remembered he didn't put the tent in the car. FML

by angry / 06/22/2010 at 3:47am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I had a first date planned. He texted saying he was sick and couldn't make it. Two hours later his twitter account said otherwise. FML

by hopelesss88 / 06/17/2010 at 8:42am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I was in a car with my house-mate and friends after a long day of studying, when we pulled up at our place. Thinking that we were all going to hang there, I waited for everyone to start getting out. No one did. Turns out they were just waiting for me to get out so they could then leave and go out together. FML

by Unwanted / 06/10/2010 at 8:54am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML

by notyouraverageteenager / 06/10/2010 at 3:06am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

by thetalkingvagina / 06/09/2010 at 7:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my two friends and I went to the movies. One of my friends brought my crush. They started making out, leaning over the armrest, until they were practically in my lap. Saliva got on my arm. FML

by someoneelsessaliva / 06/05/2010 at 2:59am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my fiancé admitted to me that he only found big girls attractive, and that's why he could never cheat on me with my friends. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2010 at 8:14am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML

by frgn8r / 05/31/2010 at 7:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML

by BabyDaddy / 05/30/2010 at 4:05am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML

by crashingdown / 05/29/2010 at 1:28am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tested the new taps in the shower, with my head. Yep, they're strong enough. FML

by gahdamnit / 05/28/2010 at 9:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

by reginaphalange / 05/27/2010 at 10:06am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have both a cold and a period. Tomorrow, I will have a cold, my period and my wisdom teeth taken out. FML

by Unlucky / 05/23/2010 at 8:22pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health