FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML

by missmcfarty / 03/31/2016 at 9:42pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I took my boyfriend's advice and finally stood up to my very passive-agressive, rude mother. What started in a conversation about her snide comment about my outfit ended in me needing to find somewhere else to live. FML

Today, I checked my Tumblr account to see if anyone had commented on the photos of my new tattoo. There were only 3 posts, and 2 of them were people linking it to "Awful Tattoo" blogs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 2:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful job interview. As I was sitting there, I felt the urge to yawn, but before I could raise my hand to cover my mouth some guy stuck his finger in it. FML

by tittyboomboom / 03/24/2016 at 9:16am / Australia / Transportation

Today, I used fly spray on my muffin tray instead of olive oil. FML

by Delicious / 03/20/2016 at 10:09pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, a classmate at college accused me of stalking her. All because I walked past her house. I was walking to the supermarket. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2016 at 2:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I missed a phone interview for a job at Telstra because Telstra's phone network was down. FML

by fucktelstra / 03/17/2016 at 7:42am / Australia (South Australia) / Work

Today, I found out a colleague spread lies about me because she somehow thinks I'm to blame for the hot guy at work not wanting to date her. Perhaps she should blame his fiancé. FML

by yblamemebiatch / 03/16/2016 at 6:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my girlfriend of 5 years gave me the "I'm not in love with you anymore" speech. I saw it coming, so I'd planned to play it cool by saying, "If you're sure it's something we can't fix, I'd rather not talk about it". After a while, I realised I was just sitting there like a child, fidgeting and shaking. FML

by Satch / 03/16/2016 at 5:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, for my birthday my friend bought me a book on how to lose weight. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2016 at 4:25am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met one of my fiancé's coworkers. Normally I'd never ask how far along someone's pregnancy is without being 100% sure they're not just fat, but she seemed fit. Well, I now know that virtually all the fat in some people's bodies can go straight to their gut and nowhere else. FML

by porkers gonna pork :\ / 03/12/2016 at 10:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I talked to my high school sweetheart after 12 years. He confessed that he's been single ever since we broke up, never got over me, and that to this day he loves me dearly. I'm a married mother of two. FML

by :/ / 03/12/2016 at 6:36am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying 2 minutes of my life. FML

by Xandriajoy10 / 03/08/2016 at 6:56am / Australia / Animals