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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

#21399833
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22871) - you deserved it (1718)

On 04/26/2015 at 3:09am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

#21394396
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29233) - you deserved it (2673)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I went into work early so I could get my work all done and leave on time, rather than staying back. The later shift starters had other ideas and called in sick. FML

#21394245
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25644) - you deserved it (1914)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by Devildrake (man) - Australia

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (2595)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

#21391444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25547) - you deserved it (1850)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:03pm - misc - by pukeytimes - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

Today, I did the smart thing and bought an umbrella before walking to work. My efforts proved useless when a truck ran through a huge puddle and drenched me from head to toe. My underwear was still wet 4 hours later. FML

#21389865
48 comments

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

#21386898
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28448) - you deserved it (3336)

On 04/03/2015 at 6:44am - misc - by clothesthief - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

#21386402
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25290) - you deserved it (4145)

On 04/02/2015 at 8:20am - misc - by Repethetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26251) - you deserved it (5200)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that when buying my $500 dollar dress I put my address as Austria instead of Australia. FML

#21384499
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24605) - you deserved it (10961)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:27pm - money - by post it - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

#21384435
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26401) - you deserved it (1995)

On 03/30/2015 at 9:52pm - intimacy - by oops (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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