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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got banned from my school library after I ran after a guy who stole my bag. FML

#21337080
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28749) - you deserved it (1785)

On 01/14/2015 at 5:04pm - misc - by Skazzy3 (man) -

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

#21334934
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31399) - you deserved it (2631)

On 01/11/2015 at 3:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I finally noticed after months of having the same cover photo on several websites, that it looks like I have a bushel of armpit hair due to a shadow. FML

#21331000
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25743) - you deserved it (4533)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by pits (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd come over and help me move a heavy dresser so I could paint the wall behind it. After an hour of waiting for him, I decided to move it myself. He finally arrived, not ten minutes after I broke my toe when I accidentally dropped the dresser on it. FML

#21330063
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26902) - you deserved it (8919)

On 01/03/2015 at 12:53pm - health - by ko (woman) -

Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML

#21325704
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28777) - you deserved it (7191)

On 12/28/2014 at 4:07am - kids - by angryman -

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

#21321099
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32974) - you deserved it (3061)

On 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm - money - by financially_wreckd (man) -

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33534) - you deserved it (5683)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my boss commented on the fact that I don't usually wear makeup, then told me it would be much appreciated if I'd change that. FML

#21313609
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30387) - you deserved it (3196)

On 12/08/2014 at 4:17am - work - by sarahc_c (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

#21311373
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30349) - you deserved it (12875)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today, during a moment of silence in front of the entire high school during my band concert, I managed to hit the stand with my flute, and loudly scrambled to catch it before it fell over. I've never had so many people look at me. FML

#21309681
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25963) - you deserved it (3134)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by Silverfeathery -

Today, I realised I was far too attached to my duvet. Literally. I just got a large tattoo on my back, and my duvet somehow stuck to my skin during the night and formed part of the scab. I now have the joy of deciding whether to tear it off fast or peel it away slowly. FML

#21306764
65 comments

Today, I went to the doctor's with my pregnant sister, only to find out she still weighs less than me. FML

#21303583
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28705) - you deserved it (7279)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by alli67 -

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36113) - you deserved it (6556)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -



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