Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from

Today, after finally dropping my weight from an overweight 200 to a slim 135, my skin is now loose everywhere, and stretches about two inches out on my stomach. FML

#14350386
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you deserved it (6489)

On 12/26/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by cloud7 -

Today, I woke up to all 4 of my wheels stolen from my car. The thieves were kind enough to leave the car resting on wooden blocks and bricks. FML

#14347909
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (2279)

On 12/26/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by JennieA -

Today, I asked a girl I liked what she was doing tomorrow night. She replied, "Cleaning, so nothing really." I then asked her out to dinner. She declined. FML

#14308182
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28442) - you deserved it (4443)

On 12/23/2010 at 5:50am - love - by Username -

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

#14306986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39696) - you deserved it (7282)

On 12/23/2010 at 3:18am - intimacy - by David H. -

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35586) - you deserved it (8750)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML

#14294990
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39887) - you deserved it (2647)

On 12/22/2010 at 4:50am - animals - by ks.swan13 -

Today, I was working in a restaurant. On the receipt under "tip" someone actually took the time to write out "$0.00." FML

#14288653
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26770) - you deserved it (7038)

On 12/21/2010 at 7:05pm - money - by ismerf19 -

Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML

#14282049
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30342) - you deserved it (6314)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:25am - health - by qwaynick -

Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML

#14279606
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28005) - you deserved it (4213)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's parents offered her a trip to Europe if she dumped me. She accepted, and broke up with me. Her parents were lying. FML

#14271579
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39764) - you deserved it (3491)

On 12/20/2010 at 11:15am - love - by pinkfloyd777 -

Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML

#14269836
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32954) - you deserved it (2879)

On 12/20/2010 at 6:23am - misc - by anonymous -

Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML

#14267759
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26415) - you deserved it (5380)

On 12/20/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Me -

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40346) - you deserved it (6089)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: