FMLs submitted from

Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML

by scaredofbozo / 03/11/2011 at 11:05am / Work

Today, I was trying out for my school's athletics team. As I reached the finish line for the 100m sprint, there was so much momentum I couldn't stop. I ended up running into a wall. FML

by uncoretard / 03/11/2011 at 9:33am / Health

Today, an aunt that I'd had a massive falling out with passed away. My entire extended family refuses to speak to me, because they think I "had something to do with it". I live several hundred miles from her. FML

by ieatoreos / 03/11/2011 at 6:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML

by JulieClaire / 03/10/2011 at 8:44pm / Transportation

Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML

by shia / 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was painting my mom's house, which so far had taken 12 hours over two days. All of a sudden there was a wind storm. All of the leaves stuck to the wet paint. FML

by hackling fellow / 03/10/2011 at 8:17am / Miscellaneous

Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML

by Juliet / 03/10/2011 at 7:36am / Miscellaneous

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

by Tom / 03/10/2011 at 6:09am / Animals

Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML

by sosad / 03/09/2011 at 5:08pm / Love

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

by Waffle / 03/09/2011 at 10:47am / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML

by Username / 03/09/2011 at 5:04am / Love

Today, I accidentally forgot my glasses in a store bathroom. When I finally noticed, I went back to find that someone was wearing them as he was walking out of the store. I didn't have the balls to call him out on it. FML

by Trippy Penguin / 03/08/2011 at 9:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

by ghoul / 03/08/2011 at 6:32am / Animals