FMLs submitted from

Today, I was trying out for my school's athletics team. As I reached the finish line for the 100m sprint, there was so much momentum I couldn't stop. I ended up running into a wall. FML

by uncoretard / 03/11/2011 at 9:33am / Health

Today, an aunt that I'd had a massive falling out with passed away. My entire extended family refuses to speak to me, because they think I "had something to do with it". I live several hundred miles from her. FML

by ieatoreos / 03/11/2011 at 6:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML

by JulieClaire / 03/10/2011 at 8:44pm / Transportation

Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML

by shia / 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was painting my mom's house, which so far had taken 12 hours over two days. All of a sudden there was a wind storm. All of the leaves stuck to the wet paint. FML

by hackling fellow / 03/10/2011 at 8:17am / Miscellaneous

Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML

by Juliet / 03/10/2011 at 7:36am / Miscellaneous

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

by Tom / 03/10/2011 at 6:09am / Animals

Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML

by sosad / 03/09/2011 at 5:08pm / Love

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

by Waffle / 03/09/2011 at 10:47am / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML

by Username / 03/09/2011 at 5:04am / Love

Today, I accidentally forgot my glasses in a store bathroom. When I finally noticed, I went back to find that someone was wearing them as he was walking out of the store. I didn't have the balls to call him out on it. FML

by Trippy Penguin / 03/08/2011 at 9:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

by ghoul / 03/08/2011 at 6:32am / Animals

Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML

by chelsea / 03/07/2011 at 5:23pm / Health