Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML

#14987191
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30002) - you deserved it (4712)

On 02/15/2011 at 5:21am - misc - by nakcba -

Today, whilst nibbling on my husband's ear, I swallowed a lump of his earwax. FML

#14986533
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40715) - you deserved it (23742)

On 02/15/2011 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Emily Salt -

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

#14985221
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10390) - you deserved it (34302)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:25am - misc - by a fatty -

Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML

#14932572
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22332) - you deserved it (3839)

On 02/11/2011 at 4:54am - work - by anonymous -

Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML

#14932385
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37740) - you deserved it (5870)

On 02/11/2011 at 4:02am - animals - by Jen -

Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML

#14932173
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30013) - you deserved it (3655)

On 02/11/2011 at 3:27am - work - by alliwantisabandaid -

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

#14930837
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9421) - you deserved it (76477)

On 02/11/2011 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Zibby -

Today, I reported in for my first day at work. When I walked in they asked "Who are you?" I answered "Cassie, it's my first day today" with a huge smile. They'd meant to call and offer the job to the other Cassie they interviewed. FML

#14920871
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33752) - you deserved it (2423)

On 02/10/2011 at 9:55am - work - by theothercassie -

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

#14919566
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58149) - you deserved it (8156)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:58am - animals - by flattened -

Today, it snowed a lot and my friends and I went outside for a walk. Someone drove by and threw a snowball at me, hitting me square in the face. Surprised, I side-stepped only to end up losing balance and roll down a hill into a ditch full of prickly bushes. FML

#14918600
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29354) - you deserved it (3605)

On 02/10/2011 at 2:26am - misc - by onehitwonder -

Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML

#14908129
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32709) - you deserved it (7407)

On 02/09/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by PrestonW -

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

#14902184
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32849) - you deserved it (2828)

On 02/08/2011 at 10:27pm - misc - by Username -

Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML

#14897237
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33468) - you deserved it (2563)

On 02/08/2011 at 4:39pm - health - by scratchy -



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