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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was watching TV in my living room while my wife was cooking. I began to smell the aroma of her potato soup, which made me hungry. Suddenly, I realized that the smell wasn't my wife's cooking but was in fact my body odor. FML

#14708501
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6834) - you deserved it (37581)

On 01/25/2011 at 10:25am - misc - by jroberts -

Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have to find it and click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parents would sneak into my room at night, take it and play 'strip-globe'. FML

#14708119
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25386) - you deserved it (2731)

On 01/25/2011 at 9:10am - intimacy - by Charlotte -

Today, during PE I got hit in the face with the ball. Everyone cheered because we got 5 extra points. No one asked if I was okay. FML

#14706405
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23190) - you deserved it (3770)

On 01/25/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Jim -

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

#14705471
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6968) - you deserved it (50087)

On 01/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by nmaidkieavg -

Today, I realised that my husband's vows were actually the love speech from 'When Harry Met Sally'. This was made even more humiliating when I discovered that he hadn't even come up with the idea himself, he had seen it in an episode of Scrubs. FML

#14696997
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33742) - you deserved it (4683)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:50am - love - by tina247 -

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

#14696721
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8392) - you deserved it (60604)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

#14693370
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32723) - you deserved it (3070)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by andifalls -

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

#14659588
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14637) - you deserved it (26733)

On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24774) - you deserved it (3291)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, while trying to explain to my date that a small coffee would be fine, I said "I'm cheap and I'm easy". FML

#14654282
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12303) - you deserved it (31413)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I rented a 4x4 to take my wife to a secret secluded beach for our anniversary. I got as close as I could to the spot and parked on the beach. After a few romantic hours we returned to find the car half way up the windows with water. I forgot it was king tide. FML

#14647477
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8640) - you deserved it (25883)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:11am - misc - by fmljae -

Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words 'stupid bitch' every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML

#14642325
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20782) - you deserved it (2286)

On 01/19/2011 at 7:52pm - work - by sirenmario -

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

#14637512
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21315) - you deserved it (3458)

On 01/19/2011 at 9:55am - work - by tgpgs -



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