Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's parents offered her a trip to Europe if she dumped me. She accepted, and broke up with me. Her parents were lying. FML

#14271579
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34967) - you deserved it (3128)

On 12/20/2010 at 11:15am - love - by pinkfloyd777 -

Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML

#14269836
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (2205)

On 12/20/2010 at 6:23am - misc - by anonymous -

Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML

#14267759
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22423) - you deserved it (4914)

On 12/20/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Me -

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35318) - you deserved it (5720)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -

Today, I thought it would be funny to hide behind the ice machine at work and jump out randomly and scare people. This resulted in my first victim whacking me in the head with a skateboard. FML

#14222956
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5691) - you deserved it (53001)

On 12/16/2010 at 10:29am - work - by me -

Today, in art class, we made plaster masks. We were supposed to put Vaseline on our partner's face so the plaster didn't rip their facial hair out. My partner forgot to put it on my eye brows and eye lashes. My face is now completely hairless. FML

#14217567
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (4923)

On 12/15/2010 at 9:30pm - health - by Charlayyyy -

Today, I woke up to the sound of sirens. My ex-girlfriend, who I had broken up with the day before, had set my car on fire. I had just finished restoring it. I was going to insure it today. FML

#14212180
148 comments

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26639) - you deserved it (7631)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

#14209539
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14774) - you deserved it (6212)

On 12/15/2010 at 1:15am - animals - by Olive14 -

Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML

#14209126
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26988) - you deserved it (2468)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend made a delicious birthday breakfast, and she said there would be a surprise at the end. Today is not my birthday, it's her ex's. FML

#14200439
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32207) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/14/2010 at 8:32am - love - by A. nonymous -

Today, I missed work because I was at the hospital getting treated for accidentally inhaling chlorine gas. I didn't realize that using Comet Industrial Strength Cleanser to scrub out a cat litter pan could be so hazardous. FML

#14189532
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8421) - you deserved it (19864)

On 12/13/2010 at 10:27am - health - by lakb -



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: