Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML

#15933136
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27277) - you deserved it (5324)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:03am - health - by fifthtimesacharm -

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53691) - you deserved it (6163)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

#15917525
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42991) - you deserved it (4411)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35776) - you deserved it (7202)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should have told me she put in a stick to support the cake. FML

#15914816
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39790) - you deserved it (3365)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by Mr. Headshot -

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36083) - you deserved it (3876)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, I have a new boss. She claims to be a professional Angry Birds player. FML

#15884668
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33321) - you deserved it (5095)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:42am - work - by Username -

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86539) - you deserved it (6484)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I was on the train to work. I was up late the night before, causing me to doze off. When I woke up, I was at my station. I stood up, went to walk out of the door and fell flat on my face on a platform full of people. Someone had tied my shoelaces together. FML

#15883320
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31045) - you deserved it (6678)

On 04/22/2011 at 6:50am - work - by anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

#15881696
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40320) - you deserved it (3533)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:53am - love - by AngryBirdman -

Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored. I forgot I was on a conference call and my computer's desktop was shared with 15 other people. No one said anything till it ended. FML

#15881339
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8834) - you deserved it (42485)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by anonymous -

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML

#15881226
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35047) - you deserved it (22118)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:08am - intimacy - by HotACE -

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML

#15871718
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35898) - you deserved it (9902)

On 04/21/2011 at 9:55am - love - by Username -



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