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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML

#15194289
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33621) - you deserved it (2648)

On 03/04/2011 at 4:22am - health - by Brandon Butler -

Today, a man was struggling up some slippery steps with a pram, when his sunglasses fell from his head. I hurried to pick them up for him, as he had no free hands, but instead accidentally stood on them, snapping them in half. FML

#15185285
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21808) - you deserved it (16005)

On 03/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Emily -

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

#15184049
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25745) - you deserved it (5833)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:20am - animals - by panda -

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

#15179914
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40361) - you deserved it (3165)

On 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm - kids - by elfy2 -

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML

#15177463
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you deserved it (7396)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:43pm - misc - by taiannalynn5 -

Today, at work I tried to help an old man by opening the door for him. He flipped me off because I was wearing a Kansas State University shirt. FML

#15172903
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25412) - you deserved it (8839)

On 03/02/2011 at 5:10am - work - by Ivan -

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

#15172476
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29497) - you deserved it (9450)

On 03/02/2011 at 3:16am - misc - by Noguestlist -

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

#15169301
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25731) - you deserved it (8442)

On 03/01/2011 at 10:41pm - love - by thelunarwolf -

Today, during a class, I noticed some racist statements and symbols on a table. While erasing them, I bent down to pick up my dropped pencil. I look back up to see a teacher, and got a suspension. FML

#15162285
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33221) - you deserved it (3360)

On 03/01/2011 at 11:47am - misc - by assumed -

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

#15161731
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29071) - you deserved it (5457)

On 03/01/2011 at 10:00am - health - by a -

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50083) - you deserved it (14131)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -

Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML

#15158966
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27313) - you deserved it (4040)

On 03/01/2011 at 1:26am - love - by j -

Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML

#15158351
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24264) - you deserved it (4540)

On 03/01/2011 at 12:29am - love - by cockalicious -



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