Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from

Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML

#14562835
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23630) - you deserved it (2521)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:21am - kids - by notapedobear -

Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML

#14552210
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23652) - you deserved it (3530)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:28am - misc - by will3000 -

Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even dating. FML

#14550494
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11286) - you deserved it (35097)

On 01/12/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by mad dude -

Today, while parallel parked, a car stopped next to me, backed up, and hit the woman behind him. When she pulled off to the side to check for damage, she slammed into me. FML

#14543441
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19034) - you deserved it (1509)

On 01/11/2011 at 8:34am - misc - by raiyne -

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

#14542249
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (2917)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Username -

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

#14531050
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28778) - you deserved it (1949)

On 01/10/2011 at 7:48am - health - by AW -

Today, I asked my parents if I had a college fund because I will be going to university in two years. They laughed. FML

#14528357
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22746) - you deserved it (4770)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:38am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

#14524101
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28538) - you deserved it (3004)

On 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by curlyisnogood -

Today, I was on the plane asleep. I woke up after feeling the plane jolt and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The little girl next to me told me I was a sissy. Everyone on the plane laughed. FML

#14494706
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10324) - you deserved it (24964)

On 01/07/2011 at 6:24am - kids - by G-6 -

Today, I fell and got a nasty cut above my right eye. The doctor in the ER sealed the wound with surgical glue. He also glued his glove to my eyebrow, and let glue run onto my eyelid. Not only do I have a scar and medical bill, I now have no eyebrow or eyelashes on my right eye. FML

#14488481
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24736) - you deserved it (1571)

On 01/06/2011 at 7:26pm - health - by Dante -

Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML

#14484091
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35362) - you deserved it (1798)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:54am - health - by omfgitburns (man) -

Today, I had a panic attack at 2am because someone decided to throw a snowball at my window. FML

#14482649
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18896) - you deserved it (5995)

On 01/06/2011 at 3:58am - health - by nuerrotticc -

Today, I found the birthday card my grandma had mailed. Apparently, it contained a gift of $100. Too bad it was in my mom's trash can, opened, with no money. She told my grandma it must have gotten lost in the mail. FML

#14482279
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30566) - you deserved it (1800)

On 01/06/2011 at 2:49am - money - by Username -



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: