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Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

#15161731
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26750) - you deserved it (5221)

On 03/01/2011 at 10:00am - health - by a -

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50017) - you deserved it (14120)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -

Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML

#15158966
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27271) - you deserved it (4033)

On 03/01/2011 at 1:26am - love - by j -

Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML

#15158351
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24215) - you deserved it (4537)

On 03/01/2011 at 12:29am - love - by cockalicious -

Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML

#15154562
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (7253)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by regretter -

Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML

#15150978
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26641) - you deserved it (4987)

On 02/28/2011 at 11:26am - work - by Username -

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML

#15147046
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29186) - you deserved it (4850)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, my shoulder was pulled out of its socket when I was helping a customer load a desk into his vehicle and he decided to answer his cell phone. FML

#15147036
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27795) - you deserved it (2237)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:43am - work - by jack -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not letting her keep the 75 cents that she stole from my truck. FML

#15144995
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20414) - you deserved it (47410)

On 02/27/2011 at 10:23pm - money - by Anonymous -

Today, I went to see my banker. As we were finishing everything up, I leaned forward to sign something. As I went back to sit down, my 2 year old pulled the chair out from under me, and I crashed down to the floor. FML

#15106533
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23166) - you deserved it (5146)

On 02/24/2011 at 8:56pm - kids - by Gretchen -

Today, I was paired up with a partner in my film class. He has an idea for a film: "Shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill". He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML

#15076677
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29604) - you deserved it (3842)

On 02/22/2011 at 9:28am - work - by Dean Heffern -

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

#15075987
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48524) - you deserved it (4435)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

#15075025
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23519) - you deserved it (11946)

On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -



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