FMLs submitted from

Today, I realized that I give the computer screen a thumbs up whenever I see something cool. I work on computers in front of people all day. FML

by helen / 05/09/2011 at 11:44pm / Work

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

by richkief76 / 05/09/2011 at 10:34pm / Kids

Today, I learned that chivalry truly is dead when a seemingly fit man pushed me into a door to get a seat on the train before me. My leg is in a cast. FML

by Username / 05/09/2011 at 3:38am / Transportation

Today, I found out that my classmates affectionately refer to me as "the kid whose eyes are really far apart." FML

by theyarefarapart / 05/09/2011 at 3:05am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

by goinginsane / 05/06/2011 at 3:25am / Miscellaneous

Today, I passed out when my blood sugar dropped. Three times. And each time, my roommate, who was right next to me, just let me fall because he liked the way my face looked. FML

by Koda / 05/06/2011 at 12:27am / Health

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

by MrFerret / 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm / Money

Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML

Today, my mother told me she forgot what a verb is. I'm homeschooled, and she's my teacher. FML

Today, I can't attend an interview for a great job because I have an exam. An exam I need to pass in order to have a great job like the one I'm missing the interview for. FML

by Username / 05/03/2011 at 11:24pm / Work

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

Today, while on a first date with a guy who turned out to be twice my age, we were playing video games at the theatre before the movie started. Suddenly he falls face first while having a seizure. The EMT asked if my "dad" had a history of epilepsy. FML

by cbolig / 05/03/2011 at 8:15am / Love

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

by Mayshod / 05/03/2011 at 8:04am / Miscellaneous