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Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

#16199219
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11154) - you deserved it (30662)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -

Today, I realized my 3 year old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year old father. FML

#16197778
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30907) - you deserved it (6203)

On 05/15/2011 at 11:40pm - kids - by blewidstepr (woman) -

Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML

#16155788
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32450) - you deserved it (5747)

On 05/13/2011 at 8:27am - work - by Smile No More -

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

#16154731
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33047) - you deserved it (6482)

On 05/13/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by Username -

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36510) - you deserved it (15515)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -

Today, I saw my dad chugging a beer in the garage. Why is that so bad? He was hosting an AA meeting in the basement. FML

#16150933
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32921) - you deserved it (2766)

On 05/12/2011 at 10:19pm - health - by Eric -

Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML

#16149509
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38961) - you deserved it (5832)

On 05/12/2011 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Georgia -

Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML

#16141236
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20882) - you deserved it (55088)

On 05/12/2011 at 7:09am - love - by Username -

Today, I got a paper cut from a 'get well soon' card. FML

#16140473
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39830) - you deserved it (5526)

On 05/12/2011 at 3:54am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I called a possible employer I had an interview with about a week ago to see if I had got the job that I have already been trained for. Her response? "Are you sure I interviewed you?" FML

#16139951
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28822) - you deserved it (2905)

On 05/12/2011 at 2:17am - work - by Username -

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

#16138835
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13181) - you deserved it (26608)

On 05/12/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, my doctor told me I should consider a breast reduction. I'm a man. FML

#16136460
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37286) - you deserved it (13169)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:20pm - health - by anonymous -

Today, I was auditioning for a talent show. I asked my girlfriend if I could sing to her before I went. She said sure. Thirty seconds in, she got up and mumbled, "You're only going to embarrass yourself." FML

#16128552
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24755) - you deserved it (14543)

On 05/11/2011 at 11:19am - misc - by NotChadKrouger -



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