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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

#14793203
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25596) - you deserved it (3391)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -

Today, my boss called me Ashley. My name doesn't even start with an A. I even wear a name tag. You would think after nearly four years, your boss would remember your name. Every time he speaks to me, it's a different name. FML

#14793014
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25844) - you deserved it (3472)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:56am - misc - by LynzG -

Today, I decided to wake my fiancé up by giving him a blow-job. When he finally started to wake up he called me by his ex's name. FML

#14791115
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36962) - you deserved it (5462)

On 01/31/2011 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by MollyMadamme -

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

#14786538
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24442) - you deserved it (4161)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, the company I applied for called up congratulating me in getting the job. I was ecstatic. Quickly enough I texted a few mates that I'd got the job. Twenty minutes later they called again saying the trainee had accidentally called the wrong applicant. FML

#14786523
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (2311)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:44am - misc - by kkkk -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she met someone else on World of Warcraft. I've been paying for her subscription. FML

#14783005
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33089) - you deserved it (13280)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:58am - love - by Thanh Quang -

Today, I was attacked by my dad because I got my hair dyed and he thought I was a robber. FML

#14782840
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20134) - you deserved it (5925)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by f -

Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML

#14740346
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27295) - you deserved it (4450)

On 01/28/2011 at 4:12am - love - by ashdk -

Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to my mom. After reading it, her response was, "What is this shit?" FML

#14739407
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (4992)

On 01/28/2011 at 1:21am - misc - by snappyPi -

Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#14726296
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23742) - you deserved it (2250)

On 01/26/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username -

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

#14716778
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31322) - you deserved it (3254)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:48am - kids - by Braelynn -

Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said "I was in the mood for Chinese". FML

#14712877
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (3434)

On 01/25/2011 at 7:54pm - misc - by bluediva24 -

Today, I was watching TV in my living room while my wife was cooking. I began to smell the aroma of her potato soup, which made me hungry. Suddenly, I realized that the smell wasn't my wife's cooking but was in fact my body odor. FML

#14708501
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5918) - you deserved it (34491)

On 01/25/2011 at 10:25am - misc - by jroberts -



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