FMLs submitted from

Today, while I was walking home, I noticed an elderly man in a wheel chair trying to paint his garage so I went over to help. His response was verbal abuse and a slap to the face with a wet paint brush. FML

by Adam / 05/24/2011 at 1:54am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2011 at 12:38am / Work

Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML

by dumbteacher / 05/23/2011 at 10:35am / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a visit from a social worker. My son told his teacher I was starving him, all because I refused to let him eat pizza and ice cream for breakfast. FML

by Bad Parent / 05/23/2011 at 7:58am / Kids

Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML

by elle / 05/23/2011 at 6:17am / Miscellaneous

Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML

by 11lyss1 / 05/23/2011 at 12:26am / Work

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

by lemonhead / 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm / Health

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

by why me / 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm / Geek

Today, I got motion sickness while having sex. FML

by mikeycoco / 05/20/2011 at 10:39am / Intimacy

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

by Max Flynn / 05/20/2011 at 6:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, I tore up my airborne academy admission documents because my lab results weren't good enough. A few hours later, they called me to apologize for the misunderstanding, mine turned out to be perfect and they'd accepted me. They need me tomorrow with all the documents to finalize the admission. FML

by SkyDiver / 05/20/2011 at 3:46am / Work

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Ten minutes after, he called me asking how to change his relationship status on facebook. FML

by BALEIGHLOVE17 / 05/20/2011 at 1:46am / Love

Today, I made it my life goal to own a towel heater. FML

by Ahlph / 05/20/2011 at 12:43am / Miscellaneous