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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML

#21496417
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21256) - you deserved it (2231)

On 11/24/2015 at 7:56pm - misc - by _Asykes_ (woman) -

Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML

#21496134
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21343) - you deserved it (1405)

On 11/24/2015 at 12:49am - health - by sprained neck (woman) -

Today, after having my tonsils removed, I coughed so hard in my sleep that I woke up spitting blood. Turned out I'd ripped my throat. They had to put me to sleep and cauterize the damaged area. Now I'm in even worse pain than before. FML

#21495350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23852) - you deserved it (1423)

On 11/21/2015 at 11:54pm - health - by Anonymous -

Today, some idiot did burnouts in the school parking lot. I got blamed because my car looks the same. I didn't even get a chance to defend myself, and now I have 8 weeks of detention. FML

#21494852
63 comments

Today, I was reading comments on an FML, and saw some made from my girlfriend's account. Now I know she's one of those people who say "Dump him!" even when the situation clearly doesn't warrant dumping. Looks like I might be in for a sudden breakup in the future. FML

#21492027
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (2487)

On 11/13/2015 at 8:34am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I graduated from a top law school. My aunt's reaction? "I will never hang out with a cop." FML

#21491600
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22921) - you deserved it (1936)

On 11/12/2015 at 4:57am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I woke up at 7, got to college by 7:40 to receive an email that my 8:00 a.m. class got cancelled. I stayed there until 12:00 p.m. for my second class, to then find out that the cancelled class was the one at 12:00, not 8:00. FML

#21491152
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (5497)

On 11/11/2015 at 7:18am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I made a fatal mistake that may cost my company thousands of dollars. This was right after I got a recognition for my outstanding work last week. FML

#21490787
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21512) - you deserved it (3794)

On 11/10/2015 at 11:16am - work - by Sewert_5 -

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

#21489374
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (1997)

On 11/06/2015 at 9:03pm - health - by Anonymouse -

Today, at work in a call center, I went into my locker to get my pain pills from a recent surgery. When I opened the bottle, half my pills spread all over the floor. My boss walked by and said, "I knew it!" FML

#21488843
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20016) - you deserved it (1401)

On 11/05/2015 at 4:31pm - misc - by fijiflu (woman) -

Today, I broke up with the guy I was seeing because he has a bad temper. He refused to believe me and decided that the best way to prove me wrong was to completely destroy my newly built house, inside and out, while I was at work. FML

#21488581
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24349) - you deserved it (1565)

On 11/04/2015 at 10:36pm - love - by hi_im_ughlee (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if you mix beer, an axe, shotgun shells and bad judgment, you get a rather expensive hospital stay. FML

Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML

#21488023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (3277)

On 11/03/2015 at 5:06pm - love - by Wtf -



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