FMLs submitted from

Today, I found out my wife has been taking "love thy neighbour" very literally with the bloke next door. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2015 at 9:15am / Love

Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML

Today, my mother told me how she managed to afford all of the expensive Christmas presents we got. She took out extra money when applying for my student loans. FML

by swimmonster81 / 12/25/2015 at 4:22pm / Money

Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML

by imahater07 / 12/25/2015 at 1:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, after 6 years, two raises and a promotion, thanks to student loans I make less disposable income than I did when I first started this job. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2015 at 3:52pm / Money

Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML

by lolmyfduplife / 12/24/2015 at 1:10am / Animals

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2015 at 6:26pm / Love

Today, I went to see Star Wars with my brother. The entire time he talked about how scientifically inaccurate and improbable the entire movie was. FML

by sister of an angry nerd / 12/23/2015 at 1:09am / Geek

Today, my now ex-fiancée confessed that "our" child is most likely actually hers and my father's. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2015 at 3:25am / Kids

Today, a total stranger asked me to marry him while we were waiting for the bus. I turned him down. He then pulled a knife on me, grabbed my purse and ran. FML

by tryingtostealmyheart / 12/19/2015 at 2:12am / Transportation

Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2015 at 12:44am / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my history grade is so low: the kid in front of me takes my homework, writes his name on it, and passes it off as his own. FML

by Tejanoswhy / 12/18/2015 at 1:16pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to someone in my class who Gandhi really was and that he was not a fictional goblin. FML