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Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30293) - you deserved it (5970)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML

#20412922
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26344) - you deserved it (10319)

On 12/22/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37266) - you deserved it (4287)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

#20407705
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22102) - you deserved it (16348)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13088) - you deserved it (33005)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

#20405217
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30815) - you deserved it (5090)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42497) - you deserved it (4692)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27192) - you deserved it (6725)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21268) - you deserved it (1644)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

#20142562
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (4731)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28272) - you deserved it (2939)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25440) - you deserved it (1998)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36489) - you deserved it (3455)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -



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