Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from

Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I've been charged $600. FML

#16332593
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19109) - you deserved it (45210)

On 05/24/2011 at 8:02pm - kids - by StupidApple -

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

#16326196
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33721) - you deserved it (7318)

On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, it's my birthday. At my workplace, we always get a cake for whoever's birthday it is. They somehow forgot about me. I've been working there for a year, and my grandparents and my dad own the restaurant I work at. FML

#16324475
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35120) - you deserved it (2870)

On 05/24/2011 at 3:55am - work - by birthdayfail -

Today, while I was walking home, I noticed an elderly man in a wheel chair trying to paint his garage so I went over to help. His response was verbal abuse and a slap to the face with a wet paint brush. FML

#16323667
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25887) - you deserved it (4595)

On 05/24/2011 at 1:54am - misc - by Adam -

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

#16322705
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23531) - you deserved it (3109)

On 05/24/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML

#16311438
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42997) - you deserved it (2680)

On 05/23/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by dumbteacher -

Today, I received a visit from a social worker. My son told his teacher I was starving him, all because I refused to let him eat pizza and ice cream for breakfast. FML

#16310426
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35389) - you deserved it (3822)

On 05/23/2011 at 7:58am - kids - by Bad Parent -

Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML

#16309963
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29003) - you deserved it (3531)

On 05/23/2011 at 6:17am - misc - by elle -

Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML

#16307240
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30076) - you deserved it (2824)

On 05/23/2011 at 12:26am - work - by 11lyss1 -

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19652) - you deserved it (40019)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

#16301661
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17977) - you deserved it (31072)

On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by why me -

Today, I got motion sickness while having sex. FML

#16265516
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36230) - you deserved it (5968)

On 05/20/2011 at 10:39am - intimacy - by mikeycoco -

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23366) - you deserved it (13124)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: