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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "lmao" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

#21436559
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16636) - you deserved it (1232)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:04am - work - by jobless1 (man) -

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21479) - you deserved it (1382)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, a guest at the hotel I work at started shouting at me. Apparently the street vendor selling sunglasses outside the hotel sold her a pair of 'genuine' Ray Bans for $5. She wanted me to phone the police because she realized two days later they were fake. FML

#21435445
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20558) - you deserved it (1348)

On 07/02/2015 at 4:25pm - love - by soo -

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

#21434895
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26252) - you deserved it (1709)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML

#21434324
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21786) - you deserved it (5163)

On 06/30/2015 at 11:33am - work - by AIienware -

Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML

#21432890
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24274) - you deserved it (4040)

On 06/27/2015 at 3:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I realized I need to get my life together after spilling ramen while taking a bath, again. FML

#21432524
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20463) - you deserved it (6348)

On 06/26/2015 at 8:57pm - misc - by college estudiata (woman) -

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

#21431164
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35088) - you deserved it (2110)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen so I went to work. On my walk to work a girl pulls up on my bike and says I need to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. Hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass as police surround me and accuse me of stealing my own bike. FML

#21429443
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25406) - you deserved it (1437)

On 06/21/2015 at 9:29am - misc - by cwell88 (man) -

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

#21427606
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29995) - you deserved it (8545)

On 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm - kids - by RecentCollegeGrad (woman) -

Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML

#21427489
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27333) - you deserved it (4609)

On 06/17/2015 at 8:14am - misc - by Anonymous -

 Today, I had to explain to my little brother yet again that no, socks don't count as toilet paper. FML

#21426539
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26261) - you deserved it (1909)

On 06/15/2015 at 3:11pm - kids - by maggieyokoi -

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

#21425769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (6463)

On 06/14/2015 at 2:35am - health - by flipflap (woman) -



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