Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

#8796433
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32221) - you deserved it (3447)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:09am - health - by icegirl38 (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

icegirl38's comment about their FML

Snick, i'm sorry my grammar isn't perfect but I live in Iceland so i'm not used to the language.
And yeah, I couldn't smell it because I have a cold! :(

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, after celebrating my birthday yesterday, getting really drunk, I woke up naked in the bathroom at my girlfriend's house. Why did I wake up? Her father walked in. FML

#8769719
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7495) - you deserved it (24567)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:42am - misc - by littmild (man) - Norway (Telemark)

littmild's comment about their FML

The party wasn't at my girlfriends house, no.. Can't imagine why people think he would be pissed, it's just incredibly funny, and something we could laugh about for years.

This is actually my first time posting anything here, the first time I've ever read comments, and I have to say I'm quite shocked how many people who misundertands this website. Like people who thinks you post things like this to get sympathy, or this ongoing debate on my alcohol consumption. I can't actually believe that there is people in this world who doesn't have more important things to do. Why isn't FML filled with "Today, I didn't have anything else to do than post negative comments on FML. FML."

I feel a burden has been lifted off my shoulders, people! I felt a bit stupid for what I've done, but now I know I have a long way to go to beat some of you.

And yes, I look good naked. Unfortunatly I was wearing socks that made me look rather fat.

See all the comments

Today, I spent a wonderful day with my girlfriend. I got her everything she wanted, and drained my wallet. On the walk home she noticed a license plate that had an ex-girlfriend's name on it. She saw me looking and accused me of still being in love with my ex, and stormed off. After throwing salad in my face. FML

#8761069
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29139) - you deserved it (4661)

On 03/01/2010 at 10:31pm - love - by MetalAtlas (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

metalatlas's comment about their FML

being the OP i thought i'd elaborate- my gf is bi-polar so she can't help things like that- it was an ex that i no longer care about which is all f them and i spent the day buying her stuff because she saw little things she liked and i like buying her things and making her happy. were still dating and doing just fine i just thought this one incident was fml worthy

See all the comments

Today, I was building new fixtures at work. As I assembled the top holding bar on the second section, my boss came up and smacked it to try and scare me. She knocked the top holding bar, which is made of steel, onto my head, and then all the sections went on to fall like dominoes. FML

#8744787
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22660) - you deserved it (1706)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:48am - work - by theoneguyinky (man) - United States (Kentucky)

theoneguyinky's comment about their FML

It didn't hurt me, just stung for a bit, needless to say I let her fix the mess and walked off to do something else. And to answer everyone's question, no, she is not hot.

See all the comments

Today, I was running late for work and realized I forgot to pay a bill. I turned on my computer to pay the bill and brushed my teeth while it set up. I had a mouth full of mouthwash and decided to pay the bill before I spit. Then, I sneezed mouthwash all over my laptop keyboard and screen. FML

#8706318
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7473) - you deserved it (24564)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by atleastmybreathisfresh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

keighty's comment about their FML

This is my post. I agree with most of you. Total dumbass thing. I admit it. It didn't ruin my computer, just made my keys sticky for awhile and there are permanent smear marks on my screen.

I did turn my head, ended up sneezing into my arm but it splashed down onto my computer. There just wasn't enough space to explain it.

I decided to pay it before i spit cause i was trying to save time and only had to press a couple of buttons. Made sense at the time. Seemed like a waste to just stand there for 30 seconds and do nothing. Lesson learned.

I had to pay it before I left for work because it was due that day by 3 and by the time i got home it would have been too late.

Carry on the mocking :)

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML

#8705777
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26908) - you deserved it (3672)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:00am - animals - by km0064 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

km0064's comment about their FML

Okay, so I'm the 1 who wrote this FML, and i would just like to inform everyone that 1.) yes, i do own a dog..3 actually, so i can complete the food chain. 2.) this is not fake...my cat decapatates animals and leaves the body parts laying around outside, 3.) I have more hamsters :) and 4.) The hamster that was killed was previously being attacked by my other hamsters, so i had to seperate him from the rest and put him in a bucket until we got a new cage. so he was in the bathroom, in a bucket with the door closed. then some dumb ass kid opened the door and took out the hamster and it got away.

See all the comments

Today, my parents bought a new car with the money they made from selling mine. To make up for selling my car without telling me, they let me choose the make, model, and colour of the new car... which I just found out I'm not allowed to drive. FML

#8687009
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26595) - you deserved it (2155)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

skittlesftw's comment about their FML

I'm the op (just made an account)
I bought the car with my money, and since they drove the car as well they paid for some maintance and insurance. They decided to sell the car without talking to me first, but said that I would be able to drive the new car they were going to buy.
Turns out the insurance would be too expensve with me on it, hence the FML.
Not all bad though, they feel guilty so they are sorting me out with a car once i finish uni. (only just found this bit out)

See all the comments

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

#8595020
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8561) - you deserved it (22998)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by lendahandmanda (woman) - United States (California)

lendahandmanda's comment about their FML

Not only was he a pretty muscular guy, but his arms were pinning mine down to a point, and i had no leverage laying in the position I was in. To those of you saying I should have just waited til he woke up, he was sort of choking me, his head was under my chin pressed against my neck, and I felt like I was being suffocated, and his body on top of mine was making it difficult for me to breathe. It might have just been anxiety though. I probably could have stuck through it.

See all the comments including 10 other original poster's reactions

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

#8519480
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41863) - you deserved it (2929)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm - animals - by ughno - United States (Texas)

ughno's comment about their FML

wow this has just turned into a bug argument over who's state it better hahaha

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

#8504699
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27351) - you deserved it (3196)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:04am - intimacy - by C.Neyy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

L0lCney's comment about their FML

He accidently pushed me, its not like he ment to do it.
I hugged him, my leg was caught behind the arm rest on my chair, And I fell onto the arm rest, & hit my head on the wall, HARD.
He grabbed my head saying sorry, then pushed me onto the couch & "fake raped" me cause all my friends were laughing. I think he was just trying to make the situation better, it didn't though. At all. I haven't talked to him since. :/

See all the comments

Today, I was pulling a car out of the shop where I work, when I tried to go over a small snow bank to park it. What I didn't realize was the snow had turned into solid ice, and it broke the front bumper cover. It's going to cost $1000 to fix it and I also had to call the owner. FML

#8342589
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15058) - you deserved it (9568)

On 02/16/2010 at 4:16pm - work - by sacredsilence29 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

sacredsilence29's comment about their FML

LOL. WoW. It's amazing how much peoples opinions change. Let's see to anwser a few remarks. No I didnt get fired, the car is getting fixed and paid for so the customer pays nothing, and when I told him he asked me to have them touch up all the other spots while they had the paint mixed. The snow bank was only a few inches so it wasnt like I was trying to drive up a mountain with an M5 and telling him that I did it was the respectful thing to do, thanks. That's part of my job is moving cars around and when it snows shit happens! That's what insurance is for....

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, my dad tried to convince my mother to stay with him. "Think of all the great times we've had," he said and started naming off quite a few. Too bad none of them were about the three kids they had together, all were vacations. FML

#8084800
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22232) - you deserved it (3694)

On 02/10/2010 at 9:32am - kids - by Mers (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Mers's comment about their FML

Well, after my parents got married, my dad's dad convinced my dad that my mom was a gold digger and so they divorced when I was one year old and had my brothers three years later. They've lived together the past 16 years as a divorced couple and have fought constantly. My dad forced my mom to go thousands of dollars into debt because he wouldn't give her any money for a year. During that time my mom couldn't get a job anywhere and she had to buy groceries for us three and her two kids from before the failed marriage. My brothers and I live with my mom now and it's much better without him trying to control us.

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML

#7981367
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (2939)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - misc - by GymnasticsQueen (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

GymnasticsQueen's comment about their FML

Ok, first of all you don't know me so you have no right to criticize me. You don't know how much pain I am in. I twisted my wrist when I fell. I am really good at gymnastics so don't say ANYTHING about that, but now I can't go to practice until my wrist is better. I was putting her present in the passenger seat, I wouldn't get out on the passenger side if I was driving so I had no way to know there was ice there. I'm not rich and neither is the rest of my family. My sister has been wanting these wine glasses since the Christmas of 2008. I couldn't find them anywhere. I have money set aside for gifts and things like that so I don't have to worry about making sure I have enough money; I have been setting money aside like that since I was 16.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: