Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML

#20201674
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30814) - you deserved it (2465)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States

sushichick's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, OP here! :) I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments, they were super helpful and many were also quite funny. My "friend" is now my ex-friend and it's the best decision I could've made because she clearly was never a friend to begin with. Thanks again, everyone! Cheers!

See all the comments

Today, after weeks of begging, I finally got an interview at my dream job. Turns out, they only agreed to interview me because they thought I was someone else. FML

#20200372
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21973) - you deserved it (1899)

On 12/11/2012 at 12:07pm - work - by karachii - United States

karachii's comment about their FML

OP here. Guess I used the wrong wording. I didn't really "beg", I did the whole apply, wait, go in and follow up thing. Only problem is that when I followed up, I gave my first name only. My name isn't that common, so I didn't realize there would be another one. They did like me, they just wouldn't have interviewed me because I didn't have enough experience.

This actually happened about a month ago (had to fudge it for FML of course P: ), and since then I've gotten a different job and am working to get that experience. So happy ending :)

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

#20199094
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27635) - you deserved it (1597)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:07pm - misc - by satega - United States (Missouri)

satega's comment about their FML

Op here. Figured I'd add this tidbit, the ride originally consisted of me, my mother, my sister and my mothers boyfriend. So it really wasn't s family trip at all in ether end.

See all the comments

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

#20198416
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26019) - you deserved it (1880)

On 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm - work - by bestnameright - United States (District of Columbia)

bestnameright's comment about their FML

Actually when I told my humanities teacher about the project I learned that my math teacher has a degree in literature or something. 0_0

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

#20197611
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12034) - you deserved it (63869)

On 12/09/2012 at 11:57am - intimacy - by SamWGovan (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

SamWGovan's comment about their FML

Funniest thing was i started laughing uncontrollably afterwards.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML

#20197360
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6206) - you deserved it (78041)

On 12/09/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by Tasha_1996 (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Tasha_1996's comment about their FML

Hello everyone. I didn't know my FML got posted until now. This was more to express what an idiot I am than to be told I'm an idiot. For people asking questions, I'm 16 and live in Saskatchewan. A small town where there's fuck all to do. There is nothing wrong with my mothers parenting, I respect her for coming to get me and grounding me. I was grounded for another month after this happened and am going to addictions councelling starting the New year. I was out last night, first night off of grounding again and didn't have a sip of alcohol. Originally, I wasn't going to comment. But I figured you guys deserved an update. Yes I deserved it.

See all the comments

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

#20191850
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28842) - you deserved it (1723)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:35am - love - by leannez (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

leannez's comment about their FML

This is OP. I approached them both long before they made they affair public. (Which they denied) But he literally sang the song to me to make sure I knew. I walked out before it was over.

See all the comments

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

#20191002
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56302) - you deserved it (4608)

On 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by AllegroRubato (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

AllegroRubato's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here!

So yeah, after the fact, I also figured that she felt inadequate, in an "it's unfair that I don't get to please you" kinda way, but it's confusing because it's not like I didn't orgasm at all or anything. The way she reacted, though, was a bit over the top. We haven't been dating for that long, though so I'm confident these are just little bumps that we'll figure out on the march :)

Haha, and thank you very much to all the lovely ladies who flatter me with their comments. Sadly, I'm gonna have to (very) regretfully decline for now, since I really, really like my gf--even if she does go crazy from time to time! :D

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

#20190593
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20007) - you deserved it (5627)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:19am - animals - by SweetheartSusie (woman) - United Kingdom

SweetheartSusie's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here.

For all of those who suggest drowning/bludgeoning/killing my cat, shame on you. I really hope you don't have a pet.

For those of you who kindly suggested crating my dog, It's a good suggestion that I will keep in mind.

My home is a two bedroom affair, I don't have a spare room to shut them in.

My cat is a very nervous kitty, she was a kitten that came from a home with lots of young boys poking and prodding her and prefers the serenity and calmness I give to her. She becomes immensely stressed when I'm nowhere to be found.

As for the dog, he is actually my boyfriend's dog and his is a case of boredom. Without the cat to play with during the night, he becomes mischievous and searches for trouble. No matter how well you plan, you'll never get everything and inevitably, there will be something he's shredded. Be it bin contents, washing or, once, the cat litter. Despite the numerous toys he has available.

Our bed is a small double, and fitting a dog and a cat into the space barely meant to contain two adults is difficult. Adding a 2-year-old on top of that is a nightmare.

For the moment, we're resigned to continue things the way they are.

Your friendly OP - SweetheartSusie.

See all the comments

Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML

#20190552
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12479) - you deserved it (19086)

On 12/04/2012 at 3:12am - love - by superminty - Canada (Ontario)

superminty's comment about their FML

It was "ch-rain" versus "t-rain".

See all the comments

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

#20190508
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23541) - you deserved it (1776)

On 12/04/2012 at 2:10am - health - by SApprentice (woman) - United States (Virginia)

SApprentice's comment about their FML

My co-worker is one of nicest people I know, he just kind of cringed and grunted, instantly beginning to tell me that it was okay. He knows I've been having trouble with that arm, so he doesn't hold it against me. I did give an apology several times though.

The customers, on the other hand, were all fairly immature college kids. It was their laughter that really embarrassed me.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

#20183813
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18859) - you deserved it (2750)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:45am - misc - by pdin222 (man) - United States

pdin222's comment about their FML

Well, where to start. First, the car is a 1995 Geo Prizm. For all of you saying, "Hey bro, should of called the dealer.", that's not possible, seeing as how they went out of business around a decade ago. It was after market junk a previous owner installed, ‘cause lord knows every kid on the block wanted a Geo Prizm, and it would have been stolen in a matter of seconds. The remote was pretty well destroyed when I go the car, and finally just fell apart on my key chain about six months ago. So no, I wasn't going to buy a new remote for my bups of a car. I finally found the theft system and just pulled it out. I now have it pierced on a stick in my front yard, to warn the other anti theft systems. Also, for those saying, "Your an idiot", it is you're, not your.

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

#20182448
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25617) - you deserved it (2259)

On 11/28/2012 at 10:14am - work - by hawksbc (woman) - United States (Iowa)

hawksbc's comment about their FML

Thankfully their aim was horrible. The darts were metal. Trust me. If I had the choice on whether or not they were allowed to play, I wouldn't have let them played. However, they had money, so the rule is they get to play.

See all the comments



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: