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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I went for a really important job interview. She loved my portfolio and we got along really well. But I guess that a corner of my skirt got caught underneath my shoe when I stood up to shake her hand, exposing my teenytiny underwear and neglected bikini line. She didnt shake my hand back. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36016) - you deserved it (8345)

On 06/18/2009 at 5:01am - work - by ChrissiOfTheHill (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

ChrissiOfTheHill's comment about their FML

My skirt was knee-length and flowy (Im am artist and am therefore not required to dress like a square) and yes i was in-between waxings so it wasnt a jungle down there...just...neglected as I said haha And I dont think Im gonna get that shoulda seen her face!

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Today, I went out with a group of friends. I hadn't gone out in a few months since my fiancé left me. They promised me there wouldn't be drinking and would just be video game stuff. By 10pm, everyone was wasted, I got thrown up on and I had to walk home fifteen blocks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34487) - you deserved it (3839)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by driezal (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

driezal's comment about their FML

To all those that commented: "Why didn't you drink too? Party pooper!"

Actually, I'm allergic to alcohol. I did have one drink, but anymore than that and my body starts to go into shock. Then it's a lovely trip to the hospital. Yep, I know, such a party pooper, eh?

Thanks for the nice comments though. You guys get karma points.

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Today, I introduced my ex-wife to my new girlfriend. They got along so well that my new girlfriend is going to my ex-wife's house tonight "just to hang out". FML


I agree, your life sucks (40765) - you deserved it (16973)

On 06/13/2009 at 6:35am - love - by Michael (man) - United States (West Virginia)

popemichael's comment about their FML

Michael here...

I had to introduce the new girlfriend to the exwife when I picked up my kid. My exwife didn't want my son spending the weekend with me and her if she didn't meet her.

They did end up sharing things about me. However they claim that if I think that's all they talked about that I'm really conceded.

I think I'm more paranoid than conceded, though.

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Today, a man came up to me at the bus stop. He went into this long story about how his girlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back, "sounds like you should invest in condoms instead of food." He responded by beating and robbing me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19094) - you deserved it (76411)

On 06/12/2009 at 4:45pm - money - by beatenbyabum (man) - United States (Georgia)

beatenbyabum's comment about their FML

Hello Folks, I'm the OP.

Because of the character limit I couldn't get in all the information so I just left the guts of it. The hobo that attacked me is a guy who's come up to me before and has had different stories. He's either: A vietnam vet (despite he's about 30), a broke composer, or the pregnant one. I finally had enough and decided to say something other than "Nope, no change".
I don't care how malnourished anyone is, a swift kick in the nuts and you're going down on the ground. So I've now been beaten by the smelly hobo, The other people at the bus stop were helpful enough to sit there and watch me get beaten and robbed. I've reported it to the cops, so we'll see what happens.

(Keep up the comments, they make me smile, even the rude one's who don't seem to notice their hypocrisy calling me a douche or a dick or whatever when all I did was pretty much the same thing. A hypocrite is a legless man who teaches track.)

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Today, I received the final piece of puzzle that my boyfriend of two years has been sending me through the mail for the last week. Turns out, it wasn't a love letter like I originally thought it was. He was breaking up with me via a puzzle through the mail. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50152) - you deserved it (2958)

On 06/10/2009 at 12:13am - love - by puzzled (woman) - United States (Ohio)

dynalda's comment about their FML

For clarification, the first part of the letter, which I had pieced together, sounded like it was going to be a love letter. He was talking about how love was a puzzle and usually the pieces fit together perfectly, but sometimes it takes a little bit of work and effort to put together. Then he started talking about our relationship and all the fun times we've had. Then came the last piece. He ended by saying that our puzzle was a waste of time and should have been left out on the table unfinished, where hopefully the pieces would get lost and the puzzle could be thrown away.

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Today, my temp agency sent me out for an interview for a great job. The interviewer and I hit it off. She asked if I could start later today. She said she'd call after making up a contract. She didn't call. My temp agency called to tell me the interviewer was fired right after my interview. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45629) - you deserved it (1796)

On 06/09/2009 at 3:13pm - work - by BrokeInCT (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

BrokeInCT's comment about their FML

I'm the OP. For the record, I was NOT flirting with the interviewer, nor was she flirting with me. ~Angela~

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Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45875) - you deserved it (23259)

On 06/09/2009 at 11:36am - intimacy - by PreciousIve - United States (New York)

PreciousIve's comment about their FML

My post is not fake, sex happens... And my baby was not abandoned carelessly she just took a late morning nap at her playroom (which is directly in front of our bedroom) and as most parents know trying to sneak sex after having a baby is like looking for the Lochness Monster. And since she is a light sleeper moving her to her crib is a self sabotage. So when all the sexytime happened our daughter must have woken up upon hearing the noise and being a natural 10 month old baby curiousity must have driven her to get up and see why mommy and daddy are making strange noises and since we didn't close our door so she can be within sight (why we close the door on her?) she went to us and watched most or some of the action. But the whole point of me posting it was so I can share a small part of my life to everyone and laugh at it, and isn't that the whole point of this site?

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Today, at work, this lady comes up to the counter and asks me for some napkins. She came up to the counter 5 times, when my boss told me to find out what happened to her. Her daughter had puked all over the table and floor, she had covered it with napkins and then left. I had to clean it up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45582) - you deserved it (2623)

On 06/04/2009 at 3:57am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Puerto Rico

moniescri's comment about their FML

guys I wrote this FML... to clear some things up... I was working at a fast food restaurant, not a real restaurant(not fancy and all that). So I was behind the counter and couldn't go out to look at what had happened to the dumb moron that kept asking for napkins. Then my boss came out and told me to go and check, when i went to the table, that lady saw me, took her kid, and RAN theough the door. Then I told my boss what had happened and he told me to go and clean it.
SAdly, I couldnt find that moron that did that, but if i ever see her, shes gonna get it!

#103-104: jeje :D

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Today, I put my 3 year old down for her regular nap. About an hour later I wake up from a dream where I was smelling something awful. When I woke up, the smell was still there, so I tracked it down. My daughter had decided to "fingerpaint" with the contents of a dirty diaper. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43782) - you deserved it (5398)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:11am - kids - by cgregg01 (woman) - United States (Florida)

cgregg01's comment about their FML

As the OP, I find all of this absolutely hilarious!! To address a few questions/comments: the pull-up was the one she was wearing when she was put to bed - she doesn't wear them any other time. I was monitoring her over the one-way baby monitor we have with the volume on full blast, but the pull-up slides up and down, no noise or anything, so that is how she was able to do her stealth-painting. As for being able to get into other things, we keep all of our chemicals in an upper cabinet, no worries there. Plus, if she'd have actually come out of her room without me hearing her, my dog would have ratted her out in a heartbeat! For the pissy commenters, good for you that you are so better at everything than everyone else, your mother must be proud of how nasty and judgemental she's raised you to be. As for those other parents that understand, thank you for being able to find the humor in this disgusting situation with me. If she was doing this daily, I'd be concerned, but since this has so far been a one time thing, I think boredom and wanting the soiled pull-up off her is what caused her to be so...umm...creative. And btw, she drew dinosaurs, her current fascination. And yes, I did a great job cleaning it up after I finished gagging and smearing vicks vaporub all around my nostrils.

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Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (120774) - you deserved it (5756)

On 06/02/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by wtf. (woman) - United States (Utah)

beatrix's comment about their FML

okay. OP here. yes, i created an account just to answer some questions.

1) i am a girl. but really, i'm sorry. it's pretty much just as creepy as if i were a guy.
2) the reason he didn't hear me or see me is because the way my house is set up, it's a two-story house with a full finished basement. i live in the basement. i was coming up the stairs, and the kitchen is at the top of the stairs. so i was still near the bottom of the stairs, he was up at the top in the kitchen. also, he was humming to himself and clearly... not paying attention to anything else. also, the kitchen is right by the laundry room, so it wasn't completely random that he was standing in the kitchen with them. except... it still kind of is.
3) they were definitely my underwear.
4) he does have mental health issues. the reason he lives with us is because he was really depressed a few years ago. but that's pretty much the least of his problems. heebidy jeebidy.
5) i honestly don't know if they were clean or not.

and lastly...

yes, i have told my parents. they're not sure what to do about it, but they are putting a lock on my door and all of my laundry is to stay in my room now and go directly from my room to the washer and back to my room, and he's not allowed anywhere near them. i don't think they've talked to him about it yet.


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Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML


I agree, your life sucks (76777) - you deserved it (2699)

On 06/02/2009 at 8:06am - love - by ThanksMom (woman) - United States (Indiana)

ThanksMom's comment about their FML

Hi, FMLer here. The reason my mother said that was because she wanted me to get back together with my first boyfriend, though I've been with my new fiance for 5 years. She never got over me leaving my first and never accepted anyone after.

And as you might have noticed in my previous paragraph- I said yes! (And by the way, my father told my mother if she leaves, he'd stay and wouldnt give her the car keys. ;) )

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Today, I was driving home, talking to my dad on the phone about losing my job. A man kept honking at me, I remarked to my dad how some people on the road are just assholes for no reason. I later realized I had left my laptop on my roof, and it flew onto the freeway. The man was signaling me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8174) - you deserved it (56895)

On 06/01/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by computerdude (man) - United States (California)

computerdude's comment about their FML

to everyone ranting about the phone: its called bluetooth.

to everyone not understanding how laptop got on roof: i was carrying a bunch of stuff and set laptop on the roof to open car door. i had just been reamed out by my office manager and head partners in a humiliating way and was distraught. i set it down the right way (on its rubber feet) so make a mental note for the next part.

to everyone claiming the laptop could not / should not have made it to the freeway, and / or flown off: i work close to the freeway, and was amazed myself. I later re-drove the route and found the laptop on the side of teh freeway about 2 miles from where i had originally gotten on. from the damage to it, it looked like it must have caught the wind when i got up to speed and then slid down off to the side of the freeway.

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Today, we had to have our vet put our horse down. Afterwards we were discussing burial options. We then find the cat with a broken neck. Had to have her put down also. Now we have animal services questioning us for animal abuse. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43833) - you deserved it (3081)

On 05/30/2009 at 1:48am - health - by farmwithnobarn (woman) - United States (Florida)

countrysparrow's comment about their FML

hey, i'm the one who had to put the animals down. this is very real. the horse was very old and got an infection, and had to be put down. now, you cant just take your horse to the vet, like you can with a dog or cat, you have to have the vet make a house call. so the vet came by prepared to uthanize the horse, Monster. before, going out to the barn, (yes, where we keep our horses, there is a barn, just not on the farm that we live, which is why the horses are not on our property, so no, that is not animal abuse), we went to the deckhouse, to discuss burial options, since it is illegal where we live to bury animals without a permit. we got to the house, to find one of the barn cats with a broken neck. now we have a doggie door in the kitchen for the dogs, but the cats use it to, since they are both indoor/outdoor animals. we are guessing that the cat went out to the barn, like they always do, and got to close behind a cow or horse, and got kicked. you never know, she might even have jumped off a high ledge, cats necks are very fragile. but anyway, the barn had to have the cat put down, along with us having to put Monster down. so the county wanted to temporarily shut down the barn for investigation, but pulled out, because there was nothing wrong with any of the other several animals. and to number 5, shooting animals is considered animal abuse, and even though my family owns guns, most around us do, we would NEVER consider shooting an animal, even if it was to put it out of its misory, unless we absolutely had to.

hope that straightens everybody out, and thank you too all that were polite and didnt mock or laugh about our situation, and took it seriously. this is not a laughing matter.

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