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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if you mix beer, an axe, shotgun shells and bad judgment, you get a rather expensive hospital stay. FML

#21488413
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19222) - you deserved it (2602)

On 11/04/2015 at 1:57pm - misc - by ncbb5 (man) -

ncbb5's comment about their FML

Hey, op here. I was supposed to spend the day with my boyfriend but I got called to work. I told him don't do anything stupid. We know how that turned out. Anyway he's fine now just whining like a baby.

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Today, I was working at a movie theater when I was called to clean what can only be described as "Dog Shit Surprise" out of a theater. FML

#21488179
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19941) - you deserved it (1358)

On 11/03/2015 at 10:24pm - work - by superspy3214 - United States

superspy3214's comment about their FML

OP here, first of all I'm still in school making A's in my honors courses and secondly it was neither human nor dog shit, apparently a guy brought his kid into the theater to see Paranormal Activity and the kid got so scared he threw up then dumped his popcorn and mozzarella sticks on the ground

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Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML

#21488175
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27040) - you deserved it (4075)

On 11/03/2015 at 10:23pm - health - by nocongratsneeded (woman) - United States (Michigan)

nocongratsneeded's comment about their FML

Hi all, this is the OP. Obviously, he's my ex, even though he doesn't seem to realize it yet to judge by the texts and phone calls. To give a little more background, we'd been together for almost three years. We were talking about moving in together (but not getting married, I've seen too many of my friends get divorced already). To really prove that the universe hates me, he and I were still using condoms, because I am that freaked out about pregnancy and I can't take hormonal BC. This is the first time ever I've had one break.

I'm sure I'm going to catch a lot of flak for this, but I have scheduled an abortion for the end of this week. It's not a human or a potential one to me, it's just a burden and reminder that former relationship was based on a big fat lie. Plus, being pregnant makes me even more anxious than the thought of being pregnant ever did, and I was full-on tokophobic before. Every time I think about having my body being overtaken by some disgusting little alien creature, my heart starts pounding and I get dizzy. I don't know how many times I've thrown up on cue just thinking about it, and it's not from morning sickness. I also really, really, really dislike babies, contrary to my ex's assumptions. I had one shoved at me when I was a teenager, and I nearly dropped it because everything about it terrified me. I don't think it's a good idea to just hope that those maternal hormones kick in and make me suddenly like kids when I haven't since as long as I can remember.

So...no congratulations needed, and no pro-life or pro-adoption rants, either. If you'd find it in your heart to suck it up and make the best of this situation, good for you. The best situation for me is to put everything about this horrible experience behind me as soon as possible.

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Today, I now need to include in my prerequisites for a potential date, "Must not pull a knife out on one of my guy friends for hugging me." I'm so done with online dating. FML

#21487155
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23334) - you deserved it (2225)

On 11/01/2015 at 11:16pm - love - by MG73 - United States (Maine)

MG73's comment about their FML

OP here. For some clarification, it was only our second time hanging out. I did introduce him to my guy friend so he wouldn't feel insecure. We were all leaving, I hugged my friend bye since to me, that is just a casual thing, and he went crazy. I'm just glad I found out what he's like early on.

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Today, I threw away a bunch of candy wrappers from my pocket, I also managed to throw away $20. That was the only money I had. FML

#21486683
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21287) - you deserved it (10828)

On 10/31/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by duckthisspit (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

duckthisspit's comment about their FML

Hi everyone, op here, the reason I had wrappers in my pocket was because I was handing out candy for Halloween at my friends house and cleaned up wrappers from eaten candy, forgetting that I had money in my pocket because I got it before I went home to put it in my wallet. While I was throwing it away I just grabbed the war of junk out of my pocket and I was having a conversation with my friend so I didn't notice the money in there while shoving it in the trash. I can't go back to my friends house because he lives very far away, I have texted and called him to ask if he can at least look for it for me and he has not replied. Happy Halloween!

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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm boring and never go to the bar with him. He knows I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#21486341
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (2101)

On 10/31/2015 at 12:05am - love - by Chelsey5279 (woman) - United States

Chelsey5279's comment about their FML

I wasn't planning on commenting if this got published, but I decided to create an account to thank you guys for your supportive comments. I also wanted to add that I do know I'm better off, it's just difficult because we have a daughter together. Thankfully I have an amazing support system around me and I don't have to deal with this by myself

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Today, I discovered that I don't have enough financial aid to continue going to college past this semester. I'm one semester away from graduating. FML

#21486296
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26709) - you deserved it (1804)

On 10/30/2015 at 9:49pm - money - by MyLifeSucksSoHar (woman) - United States (Florida)

MyLifeSucksSoHar's comment about their FML

OP here. To further clarify my situation, I'm working two jobs on top of being a full-time student and it's still not enough. The problem is, the government insists that a person with two jobs should have enough to pay for college so they've reduced the amount of money I can get - never mind that since I only have a high school diploma, I can only get minimum wage. Plus, I don't have any credit established - so I can't get any other loans.

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Today, I got fired from my job a week before I started my new position in a different area of the company. My supervisor found out I was going to be making more money than her. FML

#21485734
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (1490)

On 10/29/2015 at 6:20am - work - by cpizzle12 - United States (Virginia)

cpizzle12's comment about their FML

UPDATE: I talked with VP of sales s( he was going to be my new boss) .. And apparently something much more is going on that involves HR. HR drama going on I guess.. He will be further investigating this week and questioning the head HR lady that fired me. He called me today to get my side of the story.. Also asked me to email my resume to him.
Lord willing the truth will be revealed!!
I will update later when I find out more!

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Today, I knocked a girl lightly in the head with a prop at a costume party. I apologized profusely to the drama queen as she walked away blinking and holding her head. My boyfriend then told me that she had recently had brain surgery and it was hard for her to even leave the house. FML

#21485433
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21961) - you deserved it (7046)

On 10/28/2015 at 1:00pm - health - by WildChildRocker (woman) - United States (New York)

WildChildRocker's comment about their FML

Hi everyone! OP here. We were out at a nightclub for a Halloween event. I was standing at the edge of the dance floor talking to my boyfriend and the girl was behind me where I couldn't see her. I was carrying a cardboard hammer and I moved it and felt it touch something, then turned around and saw this girl cringing. I apologized two or three times and gave her a hug. As some people guessed, I referred to her as a "drama queen" only here, and it was to show what I thought before I knew that she had had surgery; a person who was in good physical health wouldn't have reacted so strongly to such a light tap. I did not hit her on purpose, and I certainly didn't think she was a drama queen after hearing what happened to her.

Thanks for the comments!

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Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to celebrate our 4-year anniversary with a shadow box I had made for her of our memories over the years. I left her house single, with a small bag of "breakup candy." FML

#21484986
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23886) - you deserved it (1602)

On 10/27/2015 at 9:32am - love - by zeeman2015 (man) - United States (Texas)

zeeman2015's comment about their FML

hey guys, OP here. I would like to say thanks for the support on this post. So as for breaking up, it went as smoothly as I could hope for. She was kind enough to answer all of my "but why" questions and the candy was some of our shared favorites. I guess I should have seen the breakup coming but I was in serious denial for a few months. We are still on talking terms and are separating peacefully but it doesn't suck or hurt any less.. As for why it happened on our anniversary? It wasn't really planned in any way to be on that day. it just... played out like that. I know this sounds dumb but it was the first time we had gotten to speak at length in over a month. I hope this clears up any questions.. Thanks again for the support ya'll show

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Today, my two moms were telling some fairly obscene jokes about their sex life. When I told them to stop making such vulgar jokes, they turned to me and said, "What makes you think we were joking?" They then clarified that they were in fact being completely serious. FML

#21484820
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23218) - you deserved it (2885)

On 10/26/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by erase_my_ears - United States

erase_my_ears's comment about their FML

Op here, I appreciate the support and understanding from all of u! I'm so sorry that happened to u a lot #68. I laughed at some of the more perverted comments and their responses, and I appreciate that no one has made any homophobic remarks. My parents weren't being too graphic, but they were making a lot of inferences and putting on the moves. It was not fun. Keep up all the hilarious comments!

I can't believe this got accepted!!! XD

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Today, I found a crying little kid alone in a park. I walked around with him for a bit to try to find his parents. When I found his dad, all he did was take the kid and menacingly leer at me until I left. FML

#21484736
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21054) - you deserved it (1267)

On 10/26/2015 at 7:39pm - kids - by WordBea - United States (Pennsylvania)

WordBea's comment about their FML

Hello - OP here. I was helping at an event when this happened. First of all, I'd like to say that there was no way the kid just wandered off. His dad was in a parking lot looking for his stuff in his car at least 200 meters away. He just had his head up his ass. Second of all, I know it was wrong to not call the police or at least get some adult involved, but I'm only 14, and so I guess I wasn't jaded enough yet to realize any predator in the vicinity might see that as the perfect opportunity. For what it's worth, though, I saw a very close resemblance between the two, so at least that's something.

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Today, I learned that the only way to get my boyfriend to respond to me is through nudes. FML

#21483663
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22273) - you deserved it (6204)

On 10/24/2015 at 2:12am - love - by iAlissa - United States

iAlissa's comment about their FML

Oh holy this got published. So, I promise he's not a raging douche. In all honestly, he had gotten a new video game, and I hadn't really heard from him all day. So I sent him a semi-nude picture of myself, and it was then that he responding. We joked around about posting it here, and it got published. I did tell him, however, that I understand he needs gaming time, but shouldn't neglect communication because he's gone for four months for Air Force training and I miss him!

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