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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42528) - you deserved it (8064)

On 09/04/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by Python22 (man) - United States (Texas)

Python22's comment about their FML

OP here, for update 1 of a few. Basically, like #52 said, I believe that is the case. It's not so bad I can't go out in public (and for fat people they aren't big at all), but if they were on a average chicks body, they would be massive. As for my trunk, yeah.... I'm 5'-10, so it evens out.

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Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52197) - you deserved it (4105)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Palindromesque - United States (Washington)

Palindromesque's comment about their FML

Hi all, OP here! I'm crying with laughter-you all are hilarious, seriously!

To respond to some questions-I discovered my roommate's predilection for silverware and kitchen implements when I poked my head into her room to tell her something and saw an open drawer with a good collection of my utensils. She was actually quite forthcoming, and explained in jaw-dropping detail some uses for a number of them.

We've agreed that she can go ahead and keep what she's "used," and that she'll replace the implements now and in cross contamination, she promises.

Overall, I'm glad she's sensually creative, so I don't feel the need to resort to hot sauce or splinters! I just fear for the next time she's browsing in the kitchen-I may not be able to scramble eggs for breakfast.

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Today, I started my new internship at a vet clinic. By the end of the day I had: been peed on, scratched, forced to stuff a dead dog into a plastic bag, thrown up and almost passed out. I need to rethink my future career. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37555) - you deserved it (8820)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:30am - animals - by VetStudent - United States (Colorado)

VetStudent's comment about their FML

Ha! I can't believe this actually got posted!! I had just gotten home from my internship and wanted to vent anonymously. How funny.

It is overwhelming, but I'm going to stick it out. I've learned my lesson: do not go in sick or with a full stomach.

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Today, I got my wedding photos back from my sister, a "professional" photographer who offered to do our wedding as a gift. It turns out that not only did she not catch most of the ceremony or reception, but all of the outdoor photos feature a large garbage bag in the background. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36132) - you deserved it (4948)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Dreamcatcher1229 (woman) - United States (California)

Dreamcatcher1229's comment about their FML

That's fair. The back story is that I said yes to her offer because her other work is actually quite good. Her other wedding photos for previous instances looked beautiful, and that's how I assumed mine would turn out. I take responsibility, my husband and I shouldn't have assumed anything. I found out after the wedding that she doesn't like him much to begin with, soooooo I guess putting two and two together I can reasonably say that her distaste has something to do with the shotty and neglectful work.

To answer a previous question here, forgive me for not answering the asker directly, the shots we ened up with for the ceremony itself were one of the first kiss, one of our intro as a married couple, and several blurred shots of mostly the audience with a hint of ceremony at the background. She did get my brother walking me down, but not of the beidesmaids and groomsmen. And mind you, she and I DID discuss in advance what events and who in the party we wanted pictured, as well as my request to catch as much of the reception as possible. We had a lot of friends and family travel from far away, and I had asked for more pictures of everyone together, mingling, and enjoying themselves.

And thank you to whomever suggested we retouch some of the pictures, we've actually been working on that project and it's going well so far.

So all in all I'd like to say that while I was disappointed in the outcome and the sad realization that my sister and I don't have the best of relationships, My husband and I are happy regardless and, thanks to other guests, still ended up with some good pictures. Also, a friend filmed the ceremony itself from beginning to end, so we're going to try to get some stills from that.

This is a good lesson in perspective, I guess. Yeah, the situation ended in an FML for one particular detail, albeit an important one, but hey, at least my husband didn't bail out at the altar, or I didn't throw up or something. :-P

Okay, sorry for that novel. lol Carry on!

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Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43028) - you deserved it (3665)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

ven980's comment about their FML

Hey OP here. I just wanted to add a little detail to this story. My brother had just come from a bachelor party and was very drunk so he called me for a ride. He punched the clerk because he was rude to us and yes I did leave him there overnight

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Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46032) - you deserved it (6077)

On 09/03/2013 at 1:13pm - love - by Misaki18 - United States

Misaki18's comment about their FML

Yeah he thinks he's better than me , I feel like a Cinderella after midnight while he's the prince. He's always bragging about how good looking, smart, and charismatic he is and now it's worse. -_-

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Today, I found out that Cheetos are flammable, as is my hair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31677) - you deserved it (9931)

On 09/01/2013 at 8:47pm - misc - by ClaireWinchester - United States (California)

ClaireWinchester's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here (: I was so excited to hear that this got published!! Thank you for all your feedback, even the ones saying I deserved what happened. I believe due explanations are in order. First of all: I wasn't the one who lit the Cheetos on fire, that was courtesy of my older brother. He saw a post on iFunny saying that Cheetos are flammable, so, naturally he felt the need to see which flavor of Cheetos burned the fastest. He then he ran into my room to show me his discovery, waving a flaming Cheeto around proudly. I'm assuming you can guess what happened next.

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Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47901) - you deserved it (3406)

On 09/01/2013 at 10:25am - work - by NotGabe - United States (Texas)

NotGabe's comment about their FML

OP here. Looks like I caused some confusion, so let me clear it up. In the US, the changeable tops of a bottle are called nipples. Basically, a female customer gave my tits a twist.

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Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55186) - you deserved it (3459)

On 09/01/2013 at 6:40am - money - by jfanous (man) - United States (California)

jfanous's comment about their FML

haha, yeah i'm the OP. didn't know you need an account to comment...but I just wanted to clear up something. I didn't want my parents to pay, a simple "you got in" would have been nice. I was planning on doing ROTC and letting Uncle Sam handle my tuition.

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Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38857) - you deserved it (7223)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:29am - animals - by Rapunzel1974 - United States (Mississippi)

Rapunzel1974's comment about their FML

I'm the OP. I'm the one with the Fabulous Fingerbiters. These chickens aren't food: they're overindulged pets. Each one has a name, so chicken stew isn't an option. I've named them after various vaudeville stars or actresses because they're a lot of feathery drama queens. Actually, biting the hand that feeds them is right in line with the entertainment-industry theme I chose when naming them.

A chicken bite from a baby bird isn't really painful at all because their little beaks are so soft. Even an adult bird's peck isn't painful in the same way a dog or cat bite is painful. They can't break the skin, although if they get you in the face it can leave a scratch or welt. A parrot, by contrast, can take your finger off. Chickens just aren't strong enough.

These are going to be lovely laying hens. They're just a bit cheeky. I think I can break them of the habit by switching for a while to grass instead of mealworms, by *not* dropping the goodies no matter what, and moving on to the second phase of training, where I train them to hop onto my lap and sit there to be fed and petted.

When training a chicken, it's important to use food as a reward. They're not like dogs and they don't consider attention a reward. They don't even consider petting a reward until they're conditioned to do so, because it's not a normal behavior or sensation for them. But it's straight-up operant conditioning, right out of B.F. Skinner

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Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45406) - you deserved it (2978)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:23am - misc - by rapunzel3416 - United States (California)

rapunzel3416's comment about their FML

Yay I'm the OP I'm happy this got posted. I'm 22 and coach girls volleyball. A volunteer basketball coach didn't recognize me and thought I was a student. This happens when we go to away games too. The coaches of the other teams will tell me to leave until my coach is here and even some high school students think I'm on the team. I think it's pretty funny and am glad I still look young.

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Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48730) - you deserved it (6681)

On 08/29/2013 at 6:55am - kids - by IronSkye (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

IronSkye's comment about their FML

Okay, I'm glad this FML got published. Thanks, guys! However, looks like I have some questions to answer. Firstly, my sister is almost eleven. The day before, we went shopping, and dad bought foir bottles of beer for a game he was going to watch in two days with his friends. My sister took the bottles and put the beer in cups, it totally looked like lemonade. She even put some lemons next to them! Yes, it was light beer, fortunately. But still alcohol. The kids told their mums the juice tasted funny, so they took a sip and figured out what it actually was. In the end, my sister's excuse was that she knew lemonade wouldn't have been successful anyway.

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Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46611) - you deserved it (2951)

On 08/28/2013 at 7:02pm - work - by Kannachan13 - United States (New York)

Kannachan13's comment about their FML

Op here. It's an at will state, and the store had a strict please-all-guests policy. From what I was told it was out of my bosses hands as they actually called corporate and there was no proof it was her. As far as parents well I doubt anything will come of that

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