Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51980) - you deserved it (5063)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:45am - money - by MyUsernameIsBest (woman) - United States (California)

MyUsernameIsBest's comment about their FML

Hello all, OP here! :] I must say that I am so surprised that my late night ranting on FML made it on the site. XD Well I thought I'd elaborate a bit. x]

First of all, it was a trip with my high school AP European History class to Italy and France. It was all planned out, everything was included in what we pay online, and I already had gotten my passport. I got a part time job early last year when I found out about it to help pay for the trip, and I earned almost $850 to put towards funding it, as well as earned my own spending money. I had to give her the money because the tickets were being paid for from her account. I have no clue what happened to the money I gave my mom for the trip, but for the record she was not supposed to pay for the entire trip. A few days after I gave her the money I had earned, she texted me while I was at school telling me that she had signed me up for the trip and that it was paid for, so I stopped reminding her about it. She had already told me that if I helped earn money for the trip I could go.

Secondly, the "I gave up Christmas" part referred to the fact that I agreed with my parents that I would be willing to give up getting presents on Christmas this year and the last to somewhat make up for the money they were putting towards this trip. On Christmas last year I got nothing, but I was fine with it because I was expecting to be going on this trip. They didn't tell me then that I wasn't going, they just didn't get me anything and let me keep believing.

Thirdly, by "hinting", I literally just meant occasionally hinting that I wanted to go on the trip. I left the brochure laying around, forwarded emails from my teacher about fundraising options, mentioned it when my mother asked about my day at school etc. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a dang coward about inconveniencing people, never asking for things, never getting in people's way and always trying to avoid causing them trouble.. But when I realized I really wanted to go on this trip, I went about hinting about it, I wouldn't say that I was pestering her all that much. x] I did remind her about paying, but only after she told me I could go if I got a job to help pay for it. :P

On the bright side, at least I have the spending money I saved up. :P

See all the comments

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML


I agree, your life sucks (44551) - you deserved it (7301)

On 11/10/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by Tao26 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Tao26's comment about their FML

My exact words were "Hey, your ears wiggle when you answer questions, haha. That's cute." Not the smoothest thing to say obviously, but I guess I should have kept my comment to myself.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, after working all week on a group project, I realized I forgot to submit the assignment and missed the deadline. I now have to tell my group that we automatically failed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (51986)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by lax52389 - United States (Virginia)

lax52389's comment about their FML

FYI it was an honest mistake and the paper was only turned in 8 minutes late...after some frantic talks with my teacher she agreed not to penalize my group and just deduct points from me. Lesson learned!!

See all the comments

Today, after hours of organizing and spending around $300 for my three-year-old's birthday party, I realized I forgot to send out the invitations. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29049) - you deserved it (41968)

On 11/09/2013 at 11:40am - kids - by NiteShayd (woman) - Canada

NiteShayd's comment about their FML

Let me clarify, since its very cold outside, I decided to rent a play area for my son and his friends. I was to send the invitations in his bag when he went to preschool, but I evidently forgot. The $300 was for everything, the cake, gifts, play area rental, food and a clown. I ended up making some last minute calls and quite a few people showed up.

See all the comments

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (53216) - you deserved it (4165)

On 11/08/2013 at 4:17pm - health - by JayDNut (man) - (Florida)

JayDNut's comment about their FML

OP here.

The argument was over where we'd spend Christmas (her family or mine) and I was adamant we'd spend it at mine after spending the previous at hers. No bones were broken (am missing a tooth, however) although I'm a maze of bruises and swelling. We're no longer together now.

Thanks for all the supporting messages!

See all the comments

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18953) - you deserved it (68799)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:33pm - misc - by cricketsins (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

cricketsins's comment about their FML

Let me give some details before the blasting gets too bad: "beating" was an exaggeration. I was not literally bludgeoning him with a block of cheese. I'm sure that somewhere, someone has done this. That person was not me.

It all started because he and I were picking up a few items and he just *happened* to lead me to the cheese aisle in the deli. I love cheese; he knows this and was teasing me. So, one poke led to a pinch, and all of a sudden my cheese-rage took hold and I was swatting him with a block of cheese. It was all in good fun. We are always joking and wrestling around. While we have both seriously hurt one another while wrestling, it's always an accident.

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was conducting surveys over the phone at work. As I called a new respondent, someone answered the phone, burped loudly, and hung up. This isn't the first time. I hate this job. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38553) - you deserved it (7249)

On 11/05/2013 at 1:04pm - work - by RidingCJ - Canada (Quebec)

RidingCJ's comment about their FML

OP here. First of all we are not telemarketers because we are not selling anything. Telemarketers are the ones who will not let you go and force you to buy things over the phone. Second of all, yeah I know those calls are annoying. We are all aware of that. Do you think we really like to do this?! I'm a full time college student and this is the only job that fits my schedule. Whenever a telemarketer or interviewer calls you, just say I'm NOT INTERESTED PLEASE TAKE MY NAME OFF YOUR LIST. and we won't call you again. It's simple. And please, no need to be rude.

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40519) - you deserved it (4947)

On 11/05/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by davincidasecond - United States (New Jersey)

davincidasecond's comment about their FML

This is OP. So to clear things up, neither of us really got into to much trouble, we just got off with a warning. The argument started off with the buttermilk issue and then touched on other personal issues (that I won't disclose), which is why the argument got so heated. One thing led to another, I shoved him, he punched me, i retaliated, etc. and soon enough the cops knocked on our door because neighbors called about a noise disturbance, not because we started to get physical. We usually butt heads about stupid things but this is the only time it got so bad. I take 100% responsibility for what I did, yes, it was stupid, and I completely deserve it. He and I apologized to each other and put it behind us, even though I'm annoyed at the busted lip he gave me, lol.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51024) - you deserved it (5605)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

WinkleBottom's comment about their FML

Breath or body odor isn't the issue. I'm just a quiet kid in a room of loud ones. I guess I'm boring, eh? Also, no, I do not stick my penis in fish tacos.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I was at a family meeting about opening up a business. During it, I had an allergic reaction and my throat began to close. Nobody tried to help. In fact, pictures were taken. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47128) - you deserved it (2964)

On 11/03/2013 at 1:59am - health - by cooney7 (man) - United Kingdom

cooney7's comment about their FML

My allergy is known to both me and the family and my epipen was on hand as it always is.

I never knew that the food contained ingredients I am allergic and as I said, my throat started to close and I was struggling to breathe. The reason wasn't because they're laughing at me or anything like that, 'my face was a great shade of red for the company logo'. They did help me eventually by injecting me. Weird story, I know, but my family have a track record of being idiots.

See all the comments

Today, after being forced to take my little sister trick-or-treating, we had the cops called on us twice. She thought it would be funny to tell all the people giving out candy that I'd been following her around and that she had no idea who I was, and that she was scared of me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51125) - you deserved it (3543)

On 11/02/2013 at 12:50am - kids - by PumaPounce (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

PumaPounce's comment about their FML

I had no idea she was doing this! My mom blamed me for not watching her closer. I thought she would know better since she's 14. Were both grounded though.

See all the comments including 7 other original poster's reactions

Today, I took my two and a half year-old son Trick or Treating for the first time in our new neighborhood. At the very first house, a girl told us we were too early and slammed the door in our face. My son cried. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48605) - you deserved it (4304)

On 11/01/2013 at 4:56am - kids - by Gtca - United States (Texas)

Gtca's comment about their FML

OP here! A lot of these comments are hilarious! Thanks for that and for those that showed us some support and sympathy. We started trick or treating at 5:15. Apparently trick or treating kicks up in our neighborhood around 6/6:30. Now I know. When I went trick or treating when I was younger, everyone started around 4 and people were prepared. Besides, how hard is it put some candy in a bowl? Also, some people commented about why a 2.5 year old needs candy, he doesn't, but we went for the experience. Luckily, we rebounded and had a fun Halloween after that incident.

See all the comments

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40346) - you deserved it (3588)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

bobosgonnagetyou's comment about their FML

Hey FML, OP here! I created an account so I could answer some of your questions. First off, I live in Oregon. Secondly, I thought it was hilarious, although a tad creepy at times, but I just let her do her thing and didn't try to stop her. Most people thought it was great and took it really well. She had a blast doing it, and was simply pulling a prank, which is what Halloween is all about! :)

See all the comments

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: