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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

#20539225
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (14437)

On 03/11/2013 at 4:37am - kids - by MissShei (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

MissShei's comment about their FML

OP here. She has recently been having nightmares and keeping us up half the night. We were both exhausted so we said fine. I got up to go pee and when I came back, she had thrown my pillow on the floor and completely took over my side of the bed. If I moved her, she would've started screaming again and I just wanted sleep. I let her father deal with her at that point! I did sleep well for the rest of the night :)

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

#20538070
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56645) - you deserved it (6834)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by themouseman1212 - United States

themouseman1212's comment about their FML

I'm trying to. It's been a long time. But I'm still hopeful. Just trying to be the best husband and father I can be. Thanks for the support.

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Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

#20537944
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47612) - you deserved it (8938)

On 03/10/2013 at 9:40am - intimacy - by cremyfrozentreat - United States (Florida)

cremyfrozentreat's comment about their FML

You're right, I did not plug his nose. I was too busy laughing at the whole situation. He shoved his nose into my boob while he held my nose closed. I don't know how he managed to keep erect with everything.

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Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

#20530966
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35599) - you deserved it (6848)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by claytwin - United States

claytwin's comment about their FML

My first FML to get published and I am not proud of this moment but I did waddle back to my dorm to take a shower, and then I continued on with my life.

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Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20326) - you deserved it (43891)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:01am - love - by DEATHBYEX1LE - Australia

DEATHBYEX1LE's comment about their FML

I know the difference, I just made a simple mistake....

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Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML

#20526473
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27468) - you deserved it (3873)

On 03/01/2013 at 12:21am - love - by thenewgirl29 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

thenewgirl29's comment about their FML

I am OP. I have known the guy for 7 years and the pic was something my son and I drew for him. haha just seemed like an odd response

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Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53963) - you deserved it (3922)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

n3ov's comment about their FML

oh she is

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Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

#20522100
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26309) - you deserved it (2249)

On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

sniperkit's comment about their FML

Or, y'know, my roommate's simply batshit insane and no longer my roommate.

See all the comments including 10 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

#20522100
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26309) - you deserved it (2249)

On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

sniperkit's comment about their FML

Thank you for the ever-wise insight, 64, as your input is always appreciated and never fucking annoying due to your Captain Obvious-esque remarks. She is indeed moving out, by the way.

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Today, my boyfriend of almost six years asked me to move in with him. I assumed he meant that he was finally moving out of his parents' house and had found a place for us to live. No, it turns out he means he wants me to move in with him at his parents' place. FML

#20519650
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32369) - you deserved it (5370)

On 02/24/2013 at 12:48am - love - by great_just_great (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

great_just_great's comment about their FML

Hey everyone.. Just to let you know, he's 36 and I'm 29. I moved in for about two weeks but found I couldn't handle it. We've broken up and to be honest, I'm kind of glad this all happened; it helped me work out that he was all wrong for me.

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Today, a colleague gave me an expensive box of chocolates for my birthday. I was surprised she spent so much on me, but didn't think much of it. Only when I got back home and excitedly opened the box did I realise the chocolates had expired months ago. FML

#20519323
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26380) - you deserved it (2227)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - work - by Migole (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Migole's comment about their FML

Those were still fine luckily but in general it can expire, yes. It becomes all grey and greasy and tastes like soap. Not nice :/

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Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

#20518576
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36734) - you deserved it (2618)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:46am - love - by BadAssBandit897 (woman) - Canada

BadAssBandit897's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here...I can't believe I forgot to log in :P anyways, I decided to be completely honest with the guy and end things. It was a little scary, seeing as he also knows where I live. He was in denial at first, but in the end he accepted that I wasn't interested. I still can't get a good night's rest though...

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