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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, on a nature hike, covered in poison oak rashes from the day before, I accidentally stepped on a hornets' nest. I'm now covered in hornet stings and I can't scratch the poison oak because I might accidentally touch the stings. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22472) - you deserved it (2614)

On 09/11/2015 at 8:05pm - misc - by RHChiliPeppers - United States (Vermont)

RHChiliPeppers's comment about their FML

Hey there! OP here. I am completely alive and well although I have developed a hatred for hornets. On the plus side, I did get a pretty badass nickname!

- Hornet Bait (RHChiliPeppers)

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Today, my wife is unreasonably mad at me for telling our kids to call toilet paper, "Butt Floss". FML


I agree, your life sucks (16526) - you deserved it (22511)

On 09/10/2015 at 10:31pm - kids - by chillnhill (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

chillnhill's comment about their FML

OP here, many thanks to those that saw the humor in this! For those that think "YDI", you should know that this happened a VERY long time ago and my kids have all grown up to be successful adults with rich fulfilling lives...

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Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn't deliver. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28670) - you deserved it (2063)

On 09/10/2015 at 6:55pm - misc - by lentkaysi (woman) - United States (New York)

lentkaysi's comment about their FML

wow thanks for all the comments guys!
yes, my luck in this case was awful. for those wondering, I did pay my insurance. the issue wasn't non payment. I just bought my car less than a month ago. Progressive, my company, never informed me of the photo inspection with new cars and since this is my first new car I had no idea. They chose their sole form of communication through postal service. Never received an email. so comp and collision were cancelled on my car insurance.

Now the post office is 100% responsible for fixing my car. However, since its the government insurance they take their sweet time. I will be without my car for many months unless my insurance will cover and they can reimburse my insurance. You guessed it....that's not gonna happen.

yes I will be suing. yes I will be without my brand new car, that now has $7000 worth of damage. fml.

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Today, after studying for hours a day for the past month, sacrificing weekends and time with my husband, I finally took the exam required for a possible promotion at work. Out of over a hundred questions, I only knew the answer to 3 of them for sure. Boy, am I glad I studied so hard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24058) - you deserved it (4337)

On 09/10/2015 at 1:45pm - work - by gracehi (woman) - United States (California)

gracehi's comment about their FML

YES? I was waiting for someone to say that! I'm guessing you and I are in the same boat. But who knows? Maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both be second classes in a few months.

See all the comments including 6 other original poster's reactions

Today, the guy I've been seeing bought me a nice bottle of wine and cooked dinner for me. Later, we started having sex for the first time. All was going well until he ran to the bathroom mid-sex and I had to listen to him with explosive diarrhea. The worst part is, he wanted to keep going after. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25155) - you deserved it (2684)

On 09/09/2015 at 10:44pm - intimacy - by westie732 - United States (Ohio)

westie732's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here! I've been reading the comments and thought I'd chime in.

First off, I want to make it very clear that I am mature enough to realize that these things happen! We all do it, and sometimes it doesn't happen as conveniently as we wish. I work in health care and have been in some, excuse my pun, shitty situations... So, I get it. In no way shape or form did I call him out, make him feel bad or anything. I acted like I had no clue what actually went on.

Now I do agree that this situation may be more FML to him rather than me, but some parts got left out because of word restriction on here. In all honesty he had been drinking a little too much and was pretty drunk, so I'm not even sure if he knew how much noise and how not discreet he was. I get a little careless while I'm drunk so I know how it goes. I was only saying how uncomfortable and awkward the situation was for me, especially since I'm pretty shy and not one for starting conversation about the shit you just took.

Again, I never gave him a hard time over it. Our night was enjoyable and he put a great deal of effort and time into cleaning, cooking and making the night great. I can't fault the man, and never once did I say I was too low to give him another shot. Who knows, maybe it's something we can both laugh about someday!

Thanks for reading, have a good day and remember, shit happens. ;)

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Today, I drove to school and arrived early to find a parking spot. I found one close to the school, checked the signs, and thought, "Street cleaning is Wednesday. It's okay to park here since it's Tuesday." Being thrown off a day by Labor Day on Monday, I came back to a ticket on my windshield. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17958) - you deserved it (7064)

On 09/09/2015 at 6:37pm - work - by kay131 - United States (California)

kay131's comment about their FML

Thanks for all the sympathies. This is my first FML to get published so I'm super happy.

It's my first week back at school in four years. I received my bachelors and started working full time. I've had the luxury of parking in a parking lot all this time. I actually live in New York City so street parking is extremely difficult to find. I should have known better when I saw such a close spot to the school.

#17 is completely correct. I was so convinced that it was Tuesday that I didn't even think to double check the date but I've learned my lesson now. I'm going to suck it up and pay it. I'm shaking my own head because it's such a silly reason to get a ticket.

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Today, I finally finished restoring a car after working on it for 6 months, so I took it out for a drive. On the way back, I stopped at a red light, but the drunk driver behind me didn't. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26717) - you deserved it (1286)

On 09/09/2015 at 2:48pm - misc - by A07 (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

A07's comment about their FML

Hey guys, I'm the OP.
It was 67 mustang fastback and I was driving it home from the workshop late at night.
And to all those wondering, no the car didn't survive because the asshole was driving a truck, it's sitting in a garage but I don't even know if I'm going to go look at it for a while now.

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Today, my mother-in-law got her driver's license, despite being prone to fainting, seizures, and being on so much medication that she sometimes forgets where she is. She now wants to drive us to all our family functions, and my father-in-law won't object because he doesn't want to damage her self-esteem. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (1689)

On 09/08/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by PhoenixChick (woman) - United States (Illinois)

PhoenixChick's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here!

You know, this might be a comment thread that saves lives. I had already decided to put my foot down on me or my husband ever riding with MIL, but...I hadn't thought about everyone else. And now I have.

I do not live with my in-laws, but we live in the same town and I cannot drive at night so it gets awkward to refuse their offers when my husband can't take me somewhere. Funny thing is, there is no legal restrictions on my driving,the DMV keeps insisting I'm fine, but I know that my contacts and retinal disease give me issues with headlights and therefore I shouldn't. I'm fine during the day, but stay off the road at night. I'm careful because my eye disease is from my father, who kept driving at night when he shouldn't. Nearly killed himself in an accident.

I know who my MIL's doctor is, and I'm going to call his office. She MUST have lied to the DMV, and I think it'll be easier to talk to her doctor than to the DMV. I just have to brace myself for if she finds out.

Thank you all for the help. My in-laws are rather good at manipulation. I've known them for ten years, and they use MIL's medical issues to overrule literally everything. She has serious psych issues, and FIL is very protective of her feelings. To the point of letting her lie to my husband's doctors when he was in the ER because it made MIL "feel useful" to tell the doctor's things about my husband's health. She was making up all kinds of things about my husband's condition when he went in for emergency surgery, and when I corrected her I got yelled at by my father in law for making MIL "feel bad." Nevermind that her lies to the operating surgeon could have gotten my husband seriously hurt or killed.

So yeah, this ends now. I'm not going to let her hurt anybody else if I csn help it. Wish me luck, I've got a fight on my hands...

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Today, while working at a wedding reception, I caught a couple getting touchy in the back of the room, but I swept it under the rug. Apparently, they didn't like getting caught, and reported me to my boss, claiming sexual harassment. I now have to attend social sensitivity training once a week. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22939) - you deserved it (1629)

On 09/06/2015 at 2:33pm - work - by teenagesyndrome (man) - United States (California)

teenagesyndrome's comment about their FML

Update! I talked to my boss about it and he agreed that it seemed odd that I'd do something like that, but said that he had placed the punishment just in case. I'm off the hook though, so no training for me!

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Today, my boyfriend thought I was going to ask him if we wanted children together. Instead of talking about it, he pretended to have a violent seizure and die. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23158) - you deserved it (2469)

On 09/06/2015 at 2:33pm - love - by tessie94 (woman) - Austria (Wien)

tessie94's comment about their FML

Hello everyone, OP here. So it seems I should clarify a few things over here, don't want you guys worrying over something not that important :D first of all, we were both surprised our FML was published since we are both avid FML readers and have often joked that we should share some situations with you. This time, again and then I decided to actually share it and - hey presto :D then came the backlash. I forgot I was on the internet- I'm not an avid social media user so I'm not used to it.
For everyone speculating: yes, the Sherlocks among you have correctly deducted that I am indeed 21 and my boyfriend is 22. We have been going out for almost 3 years now and are very happy together. We even have talked about having children together in lighter moments but on the evening I posted it my darling man was not very relaxed and I was amused by the cliché behaviour of him freaking out and me being overly attached. He did pretend to die violently every time I wanted to talk about it to the point that we were both just in tears laughing.
But no worry, we both are NOT having children anytime soon. I was talking about the future, 7-10, maybe even 15 years.
I want to be a late mum because as you guys probably haven't guessed I am a trained nanny and child minder and therefore know full well how tiring and difficult children can be, even though I love them dearly. And so does my boyfriend by the way. He is the most wonderful uncle to two tiny kiddos we both love more than anything, which is why I thought he was ok with talking and dreaming about our child-filled future. Obviously not. Boys will be boys but that is fine as well of course.
Lastly, I want to apologise to anyone who might or might not feel offended by me joking about seizures, in no way was I reflecting it and realising what that could mean. I am sorry.
And as a side note- Tessie is my dog.
Cheerio and thanks for reading and worrying about unwanted children set into this world (of which there are far too many)
love from a loving Austrian/British Nanny and veterinary student :)

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Today, I found my cat who's been missing for three days, sitting inside my neighbor's window. He won't answer the door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24796) - you deserved it (1707)

On 09/03/2015 at 5:14pm - animals - by JordanAfml (woman) - United States (Arizona)

JordanAfml's comment about their FML

OP here. My cat is an indoor cat, we rescued her when she was 2 months old and she never left the house in the last 3 years. My dog popped a corner of the screen out of one of my windows and that's how my cat got outside. We went to all of our nearby neighbors asking them to keep an eye out for her, and the particular person who has my cat hates my husband. We thought it was strange he was being so nice and friendly towards us the first day, and now we know why.

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Today, I brought home a new small glass necklace and put it somewhere I figured that the cats couldn't reach. I was wrong. Now I will be looking through kitty litter to find something smaller than a dime. Talk about needle in a haystack. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18725) - you deserved it (2943)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:39pm - animals - by ShayShay48 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

ShayShay48's comment about their FML

Hello everyone, OP here :). Just like to verify a few things. The necklace was not a beaded thing, it had a glass charm about the size of the eraser on a pencil, and that was the part my cat got. Thankfully he didn't get the chain, that would be so painful! I will take him to the vet soon to make sure it went through him safely. It actually was in a jewelry box, but it was upright and had handles that his paws could slip through-which I was very much not aware of xD. There were no beads or sharp ends though, and since it is so small, I think the little guy will be okay. Clever little bastard though.

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Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump. She turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (1480)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:10pm - health - by freakingout (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

freakingout's comment about their FML

OP here, wow didn't expect it to make it on here ?
Well so far no change, she even asked me are you sure it's not part of you, like how often does anybody know themselves there.

What? I know myself very well there and it's not normal. Got an appointment with the gyno for next week so should be all good :) thought it was suspicious I got an appointment within half hour of ringing...

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