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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I had to write my own notice for enforced redundancy because my boss just went on a two week vacation. He told me to just forge his signature and that, if I wouldn't do it, he'd just make something up to dismiss me on codes of conduct. FML

#21416507
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25160) - you deserved it (1796)

On 05/27/2015 at 5:18am - work - by Ouka - Germany

Ouka's comment about their FML

OP here :)
First of all, thank you all for your advice!
I'm afraid though, that it's a rather small company (around 10 full time employees) so we don't have an HR departement.

I'm not sure about the difference between "being fired" and "being laid off", but my situation could be described as: "being fired because my company decided to save some money and that they didn't need someone on the position I'm currently working at."

Here in Germany we get ALG (Arbeitslosengeld, roughly translates to "unemployment money") for a year after working for at least two years. It's around 60% of the persons original salary.
The catch is: you only get it, if you're fired or quit for (very) good reasons (harassment, threats, etc.).
If you quit without one of those reasons you don't get anything for 1-3 months.
Also you don't get it for 3 months if you're fired because of anything you did (stealing, forgery...)

So it's a tricky situation right now.

I wrote my boss an email explaining most of the things you stated (that I feel uncomfortable forging his signature, for example) and asking whether it wasn't possible for me to just write the notice and have him sign it as soon as he's back.
This way I have to set the date back, because I can only be fired with a 2 months' notice which isn't stricly legal, but he agreed to it.
He isn't really that bad of a person, actually that whole idea came from HIS boss and he was just the unlucky messenger.

So yeah, I'm going to write the notice and put it on his desk to sign once he gets back and hope, the whole mess turns out alright.

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Today, I had a call to the rodent rescue I run. They wanted to know if we had any mice for adoption and how much they cost. I told them that we had over 30 mice, and that we don't charge but do take donations. They said, "That's fantastic! I've been struggling to find snake food that isn't frozen!" FML

#21416505
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26852) - you deserved it (4279)

On 05/27/2015 at 4:45am - animals - by bekkylove22 - United Kingdom (London, City of)

bekkylove22's comment about their FML

Just to clarify, no I did not allow this person to take any mice.

Live feeding is illegal in the UK (where our rescue is based) and the majority of the mice we have are ones that came from illegal 'feeder breeders' that were shut down by the RSPCA after being proven to be selling mice for use as live feed.

Some of these mice have been hand reared by me from the day they were born if their mother had abandoned them or died herself, so there's no way in hell I would let them go somewhere they would be used as food.

Hope this helped anyone who was asking questions!

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Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

#21416484
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29246) - you deserved it (2584)

On 05/27/2015 at 2:48am - health - by mobigomo - United States (Washington)

mobigomo's comment about their FML

Honestly it was 100% my fault I teared. Going deep in the realm of TMI this is pretty much what happened. I didn't have an epidural so I was feeling the "ring of fire" like a mofo but he had told me to hold off on pushing for a moment because he was trying to relubricate and massage me open more so I could push my sons head out. Would have worked fine if I hadn't had a crazy intense contraction which made me push extremely hard while his fingers were in there, which made me tear right through. He did an amazing job stitching me up. Really after he realized who I was his interest was more in how I healed and if he stitched me up ok. Apparently he was super new and it was only his 4th day working in the hospital as an attending doctor. He was great though. I was really happy with my experience overall, except for the tearing through to my butthole part.

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Today, I found out my dog's new favorite game to play: "If you don't stop petting me, I'll bite your balls as hard as I can." FML

#21416427
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24496) - you deserved it (3410)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:29am - animals - by FMLintheanus (man) - United States (Indiana)

FMLintheanus's comment about their FML

My dog is actually a female and I got her a muzzle this morning so that when she misbehaves she can be disciplined. haha but that would be an amazing idea if my dog were a male!

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Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML

#21415975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30544) - you deserved it (2207)

On 05/26/2015 at 8:18am - love - by BadGoldDigger - United States

BadGoldDigger's comment about their FML

OP here! The below is going to be pretty tl;dr, so I apologize! :P

This has been an ongoing issue ever since we started the house buying process, though I'm pretty sure she has never really like me . I guess she didn't feel threatened until my fiance and I were going to have something legally tying us together.

Aaaaand the reason why I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me is because I'm Asian(well, half, so I guess I'm not white enough for her...?) She made a comment when my fiance and I tried dating in high school and broke up about being glad she's not going to have any Asian grand babies.

ANYWAYS. He came home from his parents' house pissed as usual because both his parents are super negative. Fortunately, his dad seems to like me, but picks at everything my fiance does. His mom kept asking him questions like, "Are you really happy with her?" "Does she make you happy?" She had asked him where I was at and he told her I was out with friends and she had the audacity to suggest I was cheating on him. Her reasoning, "your dad and I don't see our friends very often." Never mind the fact that my fiance hangs out with his friends until 2AM just about every Saturday night doing nerd things. But I'm not allowed to have friends, apparently. She even took his sarcasm seriously when he told her he was going to have to buy me a nice sink for the kitchen. It has been like that every time he goes to see them(he doesn't wonder why I don't want to go over there) so it has gotten to the point he is going to basically tell them to (nicely) fuck off or he's going to stop visiting until they can play nice.

Irony is, his grandma from his dad's side used to treat his mom like dirt for the longest time. So unless it's a family tradition, you would think she would understand.

Good thing for my fiance is that both my parents adore him and are really supportive of the both of us. I know it's because they both came from families that had a hard time accepting the other.

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Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML

#21415790
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (3198)

On 05/25/2015 at 10:50pm - work - by witchybaby89 - United States

witchybaby89's comment about their FML

To answer a lot of questions, I'm a truck stop waitress not a prostitute or stripper. He's a truck driver who has been a faithful customer for two years and has been handsy before but never to this extent. I took the money to my manager and they're looking over video of the parking lot and my restaurant.

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Today, at work, I dropped two bottles of wine on the floor. Unbelievably, they both didn't break. That, however, did not stop my boss from taking a few points away on my evaluation. My $3 raise is now reduced to $0.25. FML

#21415769
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25191) - you deserved it (2697)

On 05/25/2015 at 10:26pm - work - by A1NoSauce - United States (Florida)

A1NoSauce's comment about their FML

OP here!
Just a follow up on what happened. Yesterday, about 2 weeks after the initial incident my regional manager came in.

After explaining the situation and having them check my records(tardiness, productivity, etc.), he also was flabbergasted as to how I wasn't able to get the raise I deserved.

He then dragged my boss off into his office to have a very stern conversation with my boss, he then announced to the whole staff that my boss would no longer be working at our store, and we'd have a new one transferring in very soon.

I was overjoyed.

But, not as much as when my RM pulled me off to the side again and told me that instead of getting the regular $3 raise, they'd triple it instead. I got a raise of about $10 which still keeps a bright smile on my face even while I write this.

Thank you for all the comments! Although, I'm not sure why most of you thought I was female. :p

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Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

#21415329
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32702) - you deserved it (2253)

On 05/25/2015 at 2:30am - misc - by WellThatWasRude - United States (Wisconsin)

WellThatWasRude's comment about their FML

Hi guys, OP here. Thank you for all your comments and concerns about what happened. Regarding some previous comments, I would like to clarify a couple of things.
My uncle has some mental health issues. I am not exactly sure what he has, but my parents tell me that he is on different types of medication.
Also, my family was in the room when the comment was made. My mom shook her head in shame, but other than that, nothing else was said.
This did not happen recently. It actually happened back in December 2014. I barely see my uncle, too.
My dad apologized to me later for his inappropriate behavior. We all collectively decided to let it go because of his mental health state. I feel kind of bad because he most likely has no ulterior motives, but it was still a very uncomfortable situation, and my stomach still turns a little when I think about it.
But thank you all again! And sorry for the super long comment.

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Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

#21415238
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30132) - you deserved it (2625)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm - animals - by roadie42 - United States (Missouri)

roadie42's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here! The vet was worried that he might have a concussion, so they gave him shots to prevent/reduce any swelling. I think he also received a sedative for the x-ray.

Anyway, he's doing just fine now...back to his normal happy self. And he got some turkey in the end for his trouble :)

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Today, I felt pretty. As I deal with a severe anxiety and depression, I was proud of myself. All until a little girl asked: "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

#21414871
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29351) - you deserved it (2865)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:19am - kids - by hellpop - United Kingdom (London, City of)

hellpop's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here! c

I just wanted to quickly clarify, I did not expect this to be published I was having a pretty bad day and out of needing to vent so I posted the most recent event. I am a cis female, not transgender. However I have polycystic ovarian disorder and I deal with hair growing in places such as my face which is why I believe the girl asked as I hadn't shaved that day...

For me, the testosterone I have really effects my confidence so this did knock me back a little bit but thankfully I have very supportive friends and wonderful boyfriend who tell me not to worry so much. c:

Thank you for all the positive feedback and comments, it really helps.

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Today, while serving a customer, she told me: "God made you a working class citizen so you could serve! If God wanted you to go to college, he would have made sure you were able to go!" FML

#21414550
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29720) - you deserved it (2083)

On 05/23/2015 at 5:04pm - work - by Hyenayena - Canada (Alberta)

Hyenayena's comment about their FML

I tried explaining that, but she said that "if you were meant to go to college, your life would lead to it naturally. Your life has led you to be part of the working class, see?"

So pretty much: if I'm not a rich person, I better not even think about going to college.

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Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

#21414440
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24273) - you deserved it (3280)

On 05/23/2015 at 1:07pm - animals - by VeganVampyre - Canada (Newfoundland)

VeganVampyre's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, OP here :)
Just to clear a few things up, she is a street kitten that I just rescued about a week ago, and she had been attacked and beaten up by other cats quite a few times when she was out on the streets, so I'm thinking this lovely new behaviour is either a) she feels safer having me "protect" her while she eats, or b) she's just realized it's really nice to have company nearby and she's taking advantage since she was always alone before. I'm sure she will grow out of it as she gets more comfortable and used to being here :)
To the people saying I should control her food better- I feed her twice a day, but she prefers to graze rather finish it all at once. And since this is the healthier eating habit, I will not force her to change to a less healthy eating habit. To the people telling me to ignore her- can't do it. I'm so thrilled that she actually trusts me, and I feel so bad that she was on her own for so long that I can't bring myself to ignore her for any reason just yet.
To all the other YDI comments- I rescued a gorgeous, friendly little kitty from a probably short and horrible life on the streets, being attacked by other cats, and in return I got a lovely cuddly companion. Do I deserve that? Absolutely. :)

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Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (3468)

On 05/22/2015 at 4:11pm - misc - by danceinconverse - Canada (Ontario)

danceinconverse's comment about their FML

Wow, the range of comments had me laughing to making a disgusted face. Thanks to everyone who was supportive but no need to worry! I'll explain things further but this will be long.
And to people saying "woah I do the same thing!", you most likely have OCD, but DO NOT SELF DIAGNOSE, ask your doctor about it before you prance around calling yourself mentally ill.

For me, I've always done little sort of tensing my muscles and making both sides feel the same games with myself ever since I can remember, especially in the car. It didn't become a problem until high school, when I started doing finger things to each hand to calm myself down, and it escalated into something actually slightly debilitating.

But anyways, so I also unfortunately have anxiety and depression to mix with my OCD, so I've never came out and said to most of my friends I have any of these things, or many people at all. I hate the "Oh just be happy and you'll feel better!" Comments so I tend to not bring it up unless necessary. (Think: having a permanent broken leg, and when people realize, the "advice" they give you is to walk on it and you should be fine).

But anyway, in their defence they just thought I was being silly, I do have a lot of quirks so I don't blame them. If they hadve known it was causing me legitimate panic, they of course would have stopped, but I'm very good at covering up my negative feelings. It did give me a panic attack i had silently in the washroom the first time the original friend figured it out (lightly smacking my arm to get my attention and seeing what looked like me immediately covering the other one in pain, as if the opposite one they actually hit hurt. I would definitely find that funny too). They all had a go at poking my arm to see me poke the other one, and eventually seeing if it worked on other areas of my body. I was laughing along so they had no reason to assume it was genuinely distressing me, even though it was just my panicked (anxiety induced) "aw shit they figured it out I don't want them to know I'm even weirder, I'll just play it off" response.

But the next time they saw me they had forgotten it all together almost, and now they only do it occasionally in a weird "insulting your friend to let them know you love them" kind of way. Those times I can genuinely laugh at. I'm all for making fun of myself and I get that it's pretty funny, and also it kind of helps me in a weird way.

But if the level it was at the first time hadve continued after the first time, i 100% would have explained to them why it's not ok, and I can guarantee they never would've done it again. And advice to anyone who is dealing with something similar where it does genuinely bother them, really, let the people know. If they patronize you for it, they are strait up dick nuggets, don't take their crap.

Sorry for the novel but hope i cleared some things up!

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