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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my boss of six months asked me what country I'm from. I'm white and from the southern United States. I'm so quiet, he didn't think I spoke English. FML

#21501680
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (3306)

On 12/08/2015 at 11:01pm - work - by Macysdayparade8 - United States (California)

Macysdayparade8's comment about their FML

Op here. I was just trying to say that there are no obvious signs that I'm not from Georgia/from another country, where most people speak English.

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Today, my mom told me that when I choked on a tortilla chip yesterday, she was seriously planning on cutting my neck open and sticking a straw in it if I didn't stop, because she saw someone do it on 'E.R.'. Now I'm scared to have an emergency around her. FML

#21501639
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22130) - you deserved it (1488)

On 12/08/2015 at 9:08pm - health - by meg__1798 (woman) - United States (California)

meg__1798's comment about their FML

Hey guys its me OP,

To clarify, my mom told me that she was planning to do this only if the Heimlich maneuver did not work. I was choking on the chip pretty badly and could not breathe so she was thinking about the worst possible scenario. Luckily, I got it out and I am fine and no throats were cut. (This time). When she told me about her (bad) plan to perform a tracheotomy I told her about the scene with Sandra Bullock in The Heat and the dangers of doing one without training (and that TV does not count as training). I also may have mentioned that I would rather choke out and die than have my throat cut open with a steak knife on the kitchen floor.... Thanks for all of your comments!

-OP

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Today, I went to get minor surgery done. I have anxiety and a phobia of needles, so they gave me laughing gas. It gave me a panic attack. FML

#21501350
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20140) - you deserved it (2275)

On 12/08/2015 at 1:30am - health - by demideity - Canada (British Columbia)

demideity's comment about their FML

OP here. I couldn't post for the longest time as I was having a problem authenticating my account. Anyways, I looked up the symptoms for anxiety vs panic attack. While I have general anxiety, I do indeed get panic attacks as well. My symptoms mostly match up with a panic attack.

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Today, someone finally got the guts to punch my extremely rude mother in the face. My wife. FML

#21501199
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24322) - you deserved it (3519)

On 12/07/2015 at 6:21pm - love - by badbitch23 - United States (Texas)

badbitch23's comment about their FML

Op here, okay my wife's mother died 2 weeks beforehand and my mom thought it would be funny to make a joke out of it. So yes the punch was for sure justified. I haven't spoke to my mom since and I'm happily married with my wife.

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Today, my cat managed to digest some of the grass she ate. This makes her poop come out daisy-chained, and sometimes leaves a piece dangling from her ass on a string of grass. Then she runs around like crazy until it falls off, if possible on my bed. I had to catch her and pull it out by hand. FML

#21501158
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18699) - you deserved it (2196)

On 12/07/2015 at 4:04pm - animals - by DeeZeeMb (man) - Slovenia (Maribor)

DeeZeeMb's comment about their FML

When this happens, and it's a regular occurance, she goes crazy. She starts to run, then drops her ass on the ground and slides a little, decorating my flor with streaks of poop.

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Today, I was using a wooden toothpick to try to get at some food that was firmly lodged between my teeth. The toothpick broke and now I also have a splinter of wood jammed in there too. FML

#21500735
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21317) - you deserved it (2940)

On 12/06/2015 at 1:19pm - misc - by False_Stupidity - Australia (South Australia)

False_Stupidity's comment about their FML

Tried floss but that didn't work.

Ended up buying some plastic toothpicks and was able to eventually pry the food and splinter free.

I think I'll be using plastic from now on after this experience.

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Today, I was trying to get a piece of apple that was stuck in between my teeth. A chunk of my tooth came out instead. FML

#21500027
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22031) - you deserved it (2243)

On 12/04/2015 at 1:26pm - health - by whitnayfortooh (woman) - United States (Virginia)

whitnayfortooh's comment about their FML

I grind my teeth pretty violently at night which caused the chip. Not bad dental hygiene ;)

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Today, even though I've been studying and working with children and adolescents for the last 14 years, I've come to find that their parents' behavior tends to be worse than their children's. FML

#21500020
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (1559)

On 12/04/2015 at 1:17pm - work - by sarcasticjane (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

sarcasticjane's comment about their FML

OP here. Thank you all for your comments and stories. They definitely made my day. I am in the psychology field. When I first started in the field, parents were more apt to work WITH their children and change behaviors in the home. It was not something that took 14 years to realize as much as it's amazing how in just 14 years the parents have changed into the "fix my child" and don't want to work on their part of the issues. Not all parents; I still have a few good ones in the group, but that day was back to back parents. Thank you all again.

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Today, I spoke to a highly recommended therapist for my special-needs child. After 45 minutes of describing our challenges, heartbreaks and other very personal information, she told me that her schedule was permanently full. But she invited me to go through the phone book to find someone else. FML

#21499707
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21648) - you deserved it (1653)

On 12/03/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Hi_Five (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Hi_Five's comment about their FML

OP here - uh, no. You are making things up out of whole cloth. I would never self-diagnose my kid. We have been through years of trying to get the best help we can find, and that does not include charlatans, vaccine-deniers and the internet. Try again.

See all the comments including 6 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was told that the cutoff date for dropping out of one of my classes was last Friday. Which would have been fine if the school website had the right information when I checked it last Friday. They're ignoring my screenshots proving as such. FML

#21499702
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20221) - you deserved it (1396)

On 12/03/2015 at 3:23pm - misc - by juniorleo (man) - United States (California)

juniorleo's comment about their FML

OP here. I know that screenshots aren't very good evidence, but it was basically all I had (since the website had been updated since). I'm on a quarter system so there's not enough time to go with a lot of your ideas, though I appreciate you guys trying.

Oh, and I did go to my parents. Not for help, since I did everything possible before I called them about it, but they didn't believe me either. (´・ω・`) Shit just sucks sometimes.

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Today, I was getting my picture taken with my mom and grandma for a portrait. I said it was going to be beautiful when it was done, with three generations of our family in it. My grandma said that would be true, if I weren't adopted. FML

#21499650
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17958) - you deserved it (1054)

On 12/03/2015 at 11:45am - misc - by GraceWaldorf93 (woman) - Belize (Belize)

GraceWaldorf93's comment about their FML

Hi guys! OP here :)

Well, after a long talk with my parents, turns out I am adopted. It certainly came as a shock to me because my grandma (yup, same one) spoils me to this day. I am 22 years old and I am the only adopted grandchild and am yet my grandma's favorite (I'm not even kidding!). I gave her her first great-grandchild and she loves him more than life itself. Granted, I would have preferred to have found out another way, but it doesn't affect me at all. Thank you for the nice comments!

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Today, I grazed my hand over the bottom of my desk's keyboard tray, and found something sticky. I gagged when I realized it was jizz, and I immediately washed my hands and wiped everything. I then checked my browser history, which was full of porn. Thanks, roomie. FML

#21499613
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17243) - you deserved it (1324)

On 12/03/2015 at 9:02am - misc - by katluvnc (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

katluvnc's comment about their FML

Computer is now password protected. It wasn't before cause I let him use my computer for school work, but obviously, he was using it for other purposes!

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Today, I realized how much of an invisible artist I am when I got a little excited when someone stole my art. FML

#21499210
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19464) - you deserved it (1880)

On 12/02/2015 at 4:00am - misc - by I_Am_The_Cold (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

I_Am_The_Cold's comment about their FML

Original Poster here.
I made an account a long time ago and used this bad occurrence as a last ditch effort to get an FML up. I gave up on my account and posted anonymously, so, here I am.

Yes, some fool stole my art and posted it to their site claiming it as their own. I got a bit excited that someone liked my art enough to do SOMETHING with it, but then a few minutes later, the logic set in. It's down now, thankfully.

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