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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

#21410818
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25727) - you deserved it (13326)

On 05/16/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by nityasomaiya (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

nityasomaiya's comment about their FML

It was just my Aunt and the Midwife in the room at the time. I think my Aunt laughing helped her push my cousin out the last little bit. The Midwife was awesome.

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Today, I woke up to the sound of my little sister knocking on my door. Today's my birthday, so I thought she'd surprise me with something. Instead, she just asked me, "How's it feel to be a year older and still alone?" I just turned 20. The truth hurts. FML

#21410566
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28943) - you deserved it (2550)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:33pm - love - by Rocky209 - United States (California)

Rocky209's comment about their FML

Im not really into relationships, but a hang out buddy would be nice.

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Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML

#21410356
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28905) - you deserved it (2506)

On 05/15/2015 at 1:40am - love - by bluestripedsockm - United States (California)

bluestripedsockm's comment about their FML

Hello all, OP here. This took place over a year ago, but this is the first time I'm comfortable about posting it. I met this guy through work (my first serious boyfriend) and had been dating for four months when he first mentioned the group and encouraged me to volunteer. I didn’t know his position in it until a year later, when this happens. The main group is small, most of whom are on the board and are close-knit friends.

After a long meeting, six of us go out for drinks together. The others had broken off into their own conversations and I asked my then-boyfriend if he wanted to meet more of my friends, he ignores me, I ask him why he’s being grumpy, he says “We’re done” and walks away. (He told me later that he felt that conversation should’ve been had at a different time and he felt I was nagging him.) The other four tell me that “he’s only angry/drunk, he didn’t mean it, give him a couple weeks to cool off,”etc. and told me to go away since I was ruining their good time. My ex leaves the second his tab is paid. A female volunteer/friend pitied me enough to drive me home, since I lived the furthest out and drove alone.

The next day at work, I get a text from him saying I’m "no longer welcome" at the group. I texted the others about this and all I get is “since he requested it, I have to honor it”. I get ahold of the chairman (who knew nothing about the ban) and he told me that he’d talk to his vice chair. Nothing follows.

I wanted to do something more about it, but it wasn’t worth the headache. If anything I wanted to see if there was a legitimate reason or him being a spiteful dick. I want to say that this was a one-time reaction, but that’d be a lie. It was like I was dating a stereotypical pregnant woman. Now, I’m prepping for graduation from college and am working too much for me to consider dating someone now. It wouldn’t be fair to the guy I date.

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Today, I found out my wife confided in a coworker that she wants to sleep with him, because our marriage is loveless and sexless. News to me. FML

#21410043
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30329) - you deserved it (2708)

On 05/14/2015 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by semokco (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

semokco's comment about their FML

Howdy! Op here. So nice of all of you that assume that I'm not doing my part. Let me say: I am. Our marriage is not sexless, I do express and have expressed my love in creative and whole ways. Our marriage is not "sexless"- there is a possible pregnancy, ATM.

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Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

#21409771
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30403) - you deserved it (2609)

On 05/13/2015 at 11:15pm - animals - by alekoi - United States (Washington)

alekoi's comment about their FML

Op here, and you guys are hilarious! I diddnt think this would get published! Thought I'd do I follow up.
My room isn't actually attached to the house and because my parents think its too hilarious they wont let me come in to the main house, and they won't help me fix it. Lol but I did try to cover it with a blanket, and of course it rained. So now I'm soaked because my bed is directly underneath but hey no more wildlife!
I did try to refrain from singing, and kept away from apples so I think I'm safe!
But seriously you guys are all hilarious, totally made my day!

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Today, whilst visiting an unfamiliar office site for work, I was conversing with my boss about the possibility of considering myself for a managing position in the future. I then unintentionally followed him to the bathroom whilst walking and texting. FML

#21409519
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21022) - you deserved it (7075)

On 05/13/2015 at 3:18pm - work - by joddledoddle (woman) - United Kingdom (Merton)

joddledoddle's comment about their FML

OP here,
Just to clear things up.
We were visiting an office site and it was at lunch I discussed the possibility of a promotion.
Then, when it was time to leave the office site, I had to follow him out a series of doors and corridors to get to the parking lot. He had asked me to text my collegue to let the home office know that we were coming back and as he turned left through a door, I unintentionally went to follow him. Fortunately I looked up and noticed the puzzled look on his face and the sign on the door above my hand before I actually entered the bathroom.

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Today, my mother yelled at me, telling me I'm irresponsible and lecturing me on how I need to "plan ahead like an adult." All because I asked to borrow a tampon. FML

#21408920
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26955) - you deserved it (2618)

On 05/12/2015 at 12:17pm - misc - by ducksgurl - Canada

ducksgurl's comment about their FML

For all of you wondering about the "borrowing" part, no I was not planning on actually giving it back. But asking to borrow something seems much more polite than demanding someone to give you something.
On another note, I think this was just my mother's breaking point. We do have a very strained relationship and had actually been arguing all morning. I just thought it was funny that this was the thing she chose to snap on me for.
Much love, thanks guys!

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Today, 2 years into our relationship, my boyfriend's parents still have no idea about me. FML

#21408692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28007) - you deserved it (4107)

On 05/11/2015 at 10:49pm - love - by batah - United States (Ohio)

batah's comment about their FML

Wow I really didn't think this would get posted! OP here to answer questions, yes it is a cultural/religious reason why his parents have yet to know, he is Moroccan Muslim. We plan on telling them soon when his dad comes back to america :) he just doesn't want to tell them over the phone and risk making anyone angry. Thanks for the comments guys!

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Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

#21408506
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27864) - you deserved it (4100)

On 05/11/2015 at 5:24pm - work - by Basically_ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Basically_'s comment about their FML

OP here! Maybe I should have specified that the medication causes mild confusion, as in, maybe I forget where a specific resident keeps their towels. Alzheimer's residents can get very upset if everything is not done in a specific way. I would never go to work if I thought I could not do my job!

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Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML

#21407457
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25885) - you deserved it (2790)

On 05/09/2015 at 9:30pm - misc - by schober60 - United States

schober60's comment about their FML

On the bright side it didn't land between the seats..

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Today, I found out the reason why my car has smelled so bad for the past two weeks. It turns out when my sister was bringing in groceries from my car she forgot to grab the raw chicken. FML

#21406887
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28093) - you deserved it (3160)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:44pm - kids - by bkb12 - United States (Connecticut)

bkb12's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, I'm the OP of this post. I didn't notice the smell for so long because the smell had started two weeks ago and only got worse everyday. I looked at my car and couldn't find the source. I sprayed it with febreze hoping that would make it go away. I'm a teenage girl, so I don't know much about cars so I figured it was just something in the hood. When I finally found the chicken, it had been under the backseat the whole time. My sister is actually only 9. I took her shopping with me and she offered to bring in all the bags. I guess I can't blame her though, because the chicken had been hiding. I told her about it and we laughed it off. My car smells fine now. Thanks for all the comments!

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Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

#21406310
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25426) - you deserved it (2095)

On 05/07/2015 at 4:56pm - health - by flibbertigibbet (woman) - United States (California)

flibbertigibbet's comment about their FML

OP here. Just to clarify a few things, my dad started telling me about the aliens BEFORE I could even start telling him my own concerns, so the coincidence was quite funny, if sad. I decided that perhaps it wasn't actually the best time to bring up mental health.

And for those who are worried, I am already getting professional help and on medication. It simply doesn't magically fix everything the way I wish it would!

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Today, while out shopping with friends, I was apphrehended by two bounty hunters because they recognized my purple-dyed hair. Too bad my name isn't Natalie, who apparently shares the same hair color. They didn't believe me, even after I showed my ID. FML

#21405868
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27786) - you deserved it (2249)

On 05/06/2015 at 8:48pm - misc - by StargazeKitsune - United States (North Dakota)

StargazeKitsune's comment about their FML

Hey,ya'll! OP here! Of course I forgot to actually log in before I posted this, and THEN it gets published! But please believe me :)

So follow up, these bounty hunters did end up leaving me alone without actually bringing me anywhere (trust me, they would have had some claw marks if they had!) They DID pull out handcuffs, which was pretty scary, seeing as I've never even had so much as a speeding ticket on my record. T_T They asked me multiple times if I was Natalie, and if "I was sure I wasn't" after I showed them the ID that clearly says Mackenzie...I'm pretty sure, guy? Other than the purple hair, they didn't even know what the girl looked like. The only other thing they went off was that she was with a guy wearing a black hat (Thanks, Kyle!) But, at the end of this conversation, they ended up backing away with their hands up after my best friend so eloquently stated she wasn't "afraid to cut a bitch." Their only reply was "I believe you..."

I did end up calling the cops to make sure they weren't absolutely full of it. The police planned on making a patrol to the grocery store across town they mentioned their next lead was. And my friends who were working at the time weren't too happy about me getting harassed either! I found out after I posted to Facebook that one of the guys used to work for a friend and that he has gotten in trouble for pulling idiotic stunts before! Guess he shouldn't quit his day job!

You guys are all hilarious, btw!! These comments are really making me laugh. My friends say I should go as myself for Halloween next year and when people ask who I am, I'll just say "Shhh, I'm Natalie..." I really was pretty shaken up at the time, but IS a hilarious story in hindsight. Thanks for reading! :)

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