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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

#21055825
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36390) - you deserved it (4817)

On 02/09/2014 at 10:22pm - animals - by ZombiexIce (woman) - United States (California)

ZombiexIce's comment about their FML

Hey, this is the OP. I have owned rats and mice as pets, but with a wild one you really don't want them running loose around a toddler.

As for getting a cat, I have been trying to get a kitten for my son, but our landlord wants a huge deposit.

We are buying a humane trap and letting him go somewhere far away. We have temporarily plugged the hole he was using to get in until payday.

My husband was jokingly threatening. He is just a big softie sometimes. :)

We got a good laugh out of this, before I realized it was a mouse I ran screaming out of the bathroom
with my pants around my knees.

Glad everyone got a laugh out of this, we did!

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Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

#21055070
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39031) - you deserved it (5976)

On 02/09/2014 at 1:44am - kids - by sierraleeannee - United States

sierraleeannee's comment about their FML

OP here. I can't believe this got posted before I went to bed! Hahaha! For some reason this got edited out, but he ended up smacking me in the face after he bit me. He's 9 months old so he thinks it's hilarious obviously. And I'm not sure why it didn't show my name, I posted it while logged in. And as for the person who said time for bottle feeding, he won't take a bottle, which is fine with me! He's teething so he tends to bite more when he is. Glad to know my son has made people laugh :)

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Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

#21052354
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34986) - you deserved it (6016)

On 02/06/2014 at 1:23pm - health - by Nikia818 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Nikia818's comment about their FML

Thank you all so much! To clarify, I wasn't naked. I had a tank top on. I'm only kidding about worrying about getting laid. I'm studying to get into med school, so I really don't get laid in real life. But it doesn't bother me. I let the hot pocket sit and it was the perfect temperature until that bite...which was at the very end...
I do have a nickel-sized pink scar and it blistered a little bit, but nothing major. All in all, I now know that the filling of a hpt pocket is hotter than the fiery pits of Hell.

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Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42659) - you deserved it (12100)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

tigerisabelle's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here.
I did not know how damaging Flappy Bird was to the brain until my friend convinced me to play it, and it's been a downhill road ever since. I literally smashed into the first pipe 40 times in a row, and got more frustrated every time. So I'm supposed to count to ten when I'm feeling "irrational rage" but instead, I just pressed start. (oops...) I threw my phone through a window. The phone is shockingly okay, except it still has Flappy Satan. Yeah, that game is straight from the depths of hell.

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Today, I logged into my bank account and started crying. Not because of the balance, but because the password is my anniversary with my ex, and it's the only reminder I have of happy days in my life. FML

#21051132
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41167) - you deserved it (10401)

On 02/05/2014 at 9:26am - love - by chiahuahualove - Australia (Queensland)

chiahuahualove's comment about their FML

Hey there OP here!

Firstly thank you to the lovely people with kind messages !

Secondly here's the full story... that password is only needed to log into my bank on a computer, since I always use my phone that wasn't needed for months and completely forgot about it ... Until I needed it.

So hence why I haven't changed it ... I didn't need it for 3 months!

To those "Lovely keyboard warriors" ( sarcasm)
Let me remind you, you are on FML, a space for laughter and face palming ... Not a self help website and your "Advice" isn't requested nor needed

Thanks again too all you lovelies ! It's hard when you thought you would marry him and then need to realign your life with current reality...
Peace and love
OP

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Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

#21049950
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39640) - you deserved it (10414)

On 02/04/2014 at 12:18am - misc - by Merith2004 (man) - United States (Texas)

Merith2004's comment about their FML

hey everyone. thanks for being understanding for the most part. this was just one of the "I wasnt thinking" kind of things. dont worry though: I got several slaps on the back of then head from cousins who were in earshot.

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Today, after months of looking at cribs and picking out the perfect one for my unborn daughter, the store informed me that they no longer make that crib, even though the model is right there on the sales floor. I had to leave as my hormones got the best of me and I started bawling. FML

#21049259
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38605) - you deserved it (4637)

On 02/03/2014 at 12:34pm - kids - by pinknicki87 (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

pinknicki87's comment about their FML

OP here. Thank you so much for all your kind and supportive words. I seem to be emotional over everything lately. Thank goodness I have such a supportive husband. I know everything happens for a reason, and we will find the perfect crib. Obviously that one wasn't meant to be.

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Today, I finally received the last check from my insurance company after my house flooded 10 months ago. Tonight my house flooded again. FML

#21047933
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43851) - you deserved it (3341)

On 02/02/2014 at 6:32am - love - by itwasalongnight -

itwasalongnight's comment about their FML

OP here. First of all: Yay! It got published! Second to those who say I deserve it or should move: I own my condo, so not able to move at this point. I do not live in a flood zone or swamp. Both floods have been sewage backups from blockages at least 150 feet from my condo. The one 10 months ago happened while I was at work--that was a disaster. This time my neighbors flooded (badly) on both sides. Water from one neighbor came under our shared wall. Not too bad this time and I was able to get the clean out cap off outside right away so it flowed into my backyard instead of my house. Truly an awful experience to be sure. I thank my lucky stars that I opted to cancel my plans and stay home and watch a movie... Otherwise it would have been at least as bad as last time. I'll admit... I'm afraid to put that clean clean out cap back on!

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Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

#21047538
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42912) - you deserved it (3246)

On 02/01/2014 at 9:07pm - kids - by juice723 - United States (New York)

juice723's comment about their FML

So yeah I've seen some comments asking for a follow up... I'm a girl. my mom has always said that her greatest regret was not having more children herself, but she's, you know, going through menopause... So I think wanting a lot of grandchildren is her way of making up for that. She has also clarified that she will be happy with four grandchildren, which is what I want to have. It was just wishful thinking that she could have that many grandchildren to help raise.

Sorry if this long comment is confusing, but I hope it helps to clear things up!

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Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed hysterically as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36989) - you deserved it (3524)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

TwistedCherub1's comment about their FML

To answer a few questions:
1. I did make it to the bathroom.
2. Cameras are everywhere in a prison, see from all angles, and have incredible resolution.
3. From my post I have to go through a door which requires pushing a button, identifying myself to master control and waiting for them to release the lock. Then two crash gates where the operator can see me through the glass, then two more doors like the first. That's if I'm in the D-space and not the day room doing rounds, which would involve two more doors. No two doors in any corridor can be open at the same time, so I have to wait for each to close before the next can open.

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Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML

#21046307
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40273) - you deserved it (2956)

On 01/31/2014 at 3:04pm - work - by fitzy79 - United States

fitzy79's comment about their FML

Just to clarify I am in the Army so my only option is to sit there with a smile on my face and say "yes Sir that is an amazing idea"

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Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

#21044053
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39544) - you deserved it (3270)

On 01/29/2014 at 11:55am - misc - by dope_mcfly (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

dope_mcfly's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here. I would have mentioned in the FML that my work phone is one of those "dumb phones" and does not have any option to block numbers. After she did that for two nights in a row, I wound up setting one of the fax machine at my office to auto-dial her mobile and house phones every 15 minutes. Now, the only thing that wakes me up is the occasional user who forgot their login info, and my wife's odd food cravings.

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Today, I was reading FML's birthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckfaces of the week. FML

#21040870
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27989) - you deserved it (48863)

On 01/26/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by brookenicolee29 (woman) - United States (Iowa)

brookenicolee29's comment about their FML

I changed my picture because o it(: And it was more of a kissy face.. Haha

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