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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

#20845220
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40728) - you deserved it (3206)

On 08/19/2013 at 7:29pm - misc - by bluerhhajfk - United States (Rhode Island)

bluerhhajfk's comment about their FML

Apparently his friend gave him some to try. He's only 14 so I don't think he knew any better. He told me he was experimenting, and I think that's an okay thing to do so long as he learned his lesson. He is just a young stupid teenager.

Moral of the story: Don't do drugs, kids. Or you'll burn your penises.

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Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

#20845198
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25035) - you deserved it (33303)

On 08/19/2013 at 7:15pm - love - by sirradel - United States

sirradel's comment about their FML

OP here guys!
Just for your information, I'm a woman and my spouse is a man.

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Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend and my close family, who were all ecstatic. Then he told his mother. Her reaction? "It better come out looking like him." FML

#20844930
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36203) - you deserved it (3454)

On 08/19/2013 at 3:55pm - misc - by AtomicDiamond87 (woman) - United States (Washington)

AtomicDiamond87's comment about their FML

OP here. Well She didn't say it as a joke. She's always been a let down. But thank you all for the good comments. No I don't cheat. I love my boyfriend. Been together almost two years. Didn't plan for a baby because the doctors told him he wasn't able. He's so happy. And i'm always tired. Ad for the woman who also have mother in law problems keep your heads up :)

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Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

#20844815
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47822) - you deserved it (16466)

On 08/19/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by xxSecretAngelxx - United States (North Carolina)

xxSecretAngelxx's comment about their FML

Hi everyone! I'm the OP and for those who were wondering I am in college which makes this story the more embarrassing! It was my first presentation this semester. It was a group presentation so I was already standing in front of the class with the rest of my group waiting for my turn to speak. Someone commented how come nobody told me when I walked in the class, when I walked in my jacket was zipped up, I started playing with my zipper when I was up in front of the class because it is a nervous tick I have, I do it without even noticing it. Kinda like how some girls twirl their hair or bite their nails. Of course either one of those would have been less embarrassing on that particular day!

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Today, I got to watch how easy it is to break into my flat, after I locked myself out and went to my neighbour for help. He used a blunt pencil. FML

#20844279
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36500) - you deserved it (3285)

On 08/19/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by mamaflower (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

mamaflower's comment about their FML

Just so you know, I live in a council estate so I always figured my neighbour would be able to break in if he wanted. It was just a shocked to see how easy it was. And I can't change the locks with out going through a big pile of paper work and waiting for permission. So much hassle. Any way thanks for the funny comments =)

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Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

#20844093
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18910) - you deserved it (35483)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:50am - money - by Blink_me26 - Australia (Victoria)

Blink_me26's comment about their FML

I did not expect this to get posted at all haha well anyway it was actually a pink unicorn onesie (yes I'm a child inside), I'm definitely going to buy it because it's not the seller's fault and my best friend is going to buy it off me for a onesie party she's going to so I'll just change the address to her house, no harm done. I'm very surprised I won the auction because I am always outbid at the last minute, the demand for pink unicorns probably isn't very high. Thanks for your comments, even the one that said I was an asshole lol :)

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Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

#20843588
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54295) - you deserved it (2075)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:33pm - work - by Katthebamf (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Katthebamf's comment about their FML

Thanks for all the supportive comments. When I explained to him the situation he apologised and sent me home. I reported him to my senior manager and he has since received a warning for inappropriate behavior. My aunt is doing really well now, they caught it early and they say she will make a 100% recovery. She's talking again as well, but she will have to stay in hospital for a while for monitoring. Reading all the comments made me feel a lot better as well, thank you!

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Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML

#20842873
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48757) - you deserved it (2712)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:43am - work - by sweet23 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

sweet23's comment about their FML

I think there was a bit of misunderstanding it was just my boss who thought that way, the ladies i work with are the most respectful and caring people i have ever met.

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Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

#20841495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55964) - you deserved it (5401)

On 08/17/2013 at 8:55am - kids - by ggabrams - United States (Hawaii)

ggabrams's comment about their FML

He didn't give an excuse. I was laughing my ass off in the office though.

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Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

#20838511
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38982) - you deserved it (18209)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:32am - health - by seizure_girl (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

seizure_girl's comment about their FML

Hi there. OP here. Temporal lobe epilepsy involves some pretty freakish seizures that are actually interpreted as religious visions by many. They're a very intense spiritual experience. I was fifteen years old, and spent the next three years as a devout Christian, my own logic at war with my profound sense of purpose. Then I turned 18 and discovered marijuana. Lo and behold, the "visions" disappeared, and I was an atheist again. I made the connection between the drug and the cessation of my fits when I stopped taking it and they came back. Epilepsy never occurred to me until recently, the first time I collapsed into a grand mal seizure in public. I picked myself up off the ground in confusion to meet a lot of stares, and a woman nearby informed me I'd had a seizure. The "aura" that I'd gotten just before blacking out and convulsing was the same as the onset of my previous "visions", the first real clue I'd ever gotten. And yes, my mother is an idiot. When I said that I'd had a seizure while she'd been across the fairgrounds, she accused me of being drunk and said she was disappointed in me for ruining our fun evening at the carnival.

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Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

#20838347
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54988) - you deserved it (3663)

On 08/15/2013 at 4:04am - money - by PapaMoti - Canada (Ontario)

PapaMoti's comment about their FML

Thanks for all the helpful comments! As to what happened next, security was called and we ended up looking at the camera footage which proved that I didn't steal the shirt. The manager was humiliated and apologized, but either way I am not going to be shopping from that store ever again.

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Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41774) - you deserved it (4079)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:48pm - misc - by YayItsYasmine (woman) - Austria (Karnten)

YayItsYasmine's comment about their FML

Hey! I got another lemon in a box today, with the same note. But this time, the "Date me" was in caps and there was drawn a smiley on the lemon. I'm kinda getting creeped out, and i still haven't figured out who made it.

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Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47056) - you deserved it (3241)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:55am - misc - by kenbez123 (man) - Malta

kenbez123's comment about their FML

The neighbour in question was male. No he was not naked (thank god). When he noticed me he just ran off back to his house.

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