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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39865) - you deserved it (5996)

On 05/18/2014 at 7:35pm - animals - by LyraAlluse (woman) - United States (Arizona)

LyraAlluse's comment about their FML

He got stuck in one of those oddly shaped bathroom trashcans. And it was his tail end that got stuck, so he was sticking out of the trashcan like a jack-in-the-box. Because the can was oddly shaped it was hard to figure out how to get the cat free and make it as humane as possible. Also, the cat kept trying to roll around in the trash can because he thought it would help. My cat isn't the brightest crayon in the package but he is pretty funny.

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Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60777) - you deserved it (5998)

On 05/15/2014 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by salmone - Australia (Victoria)

salmone's comment about their FML

Follow Up: it is a national test, so he couldn't go to the bathroom, and I couldn't disrupt the test by speaking. I stood nearby and cleared my throat loudly, that seemed to work, and he emerged from his jumper (sweater) fairly quickly. I would say given that all he wrote on the test was his name, he probably did not do very well.
Finally, there are some very nasty, judgemental people on here. Perhaps you should try to live a little more kindly and gently.

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Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (73686) - you deserved it (9501)

On 05/15/2014 at 9:03am - intimacy - by GimmeLaCoffee (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

GimmeLaCoffee's comment about their FML

First off, yeah I was a bit pissed (cause, well, I was pretty excited..) but we do prank each other all the time so I'm laughing about it. Don't worry, I'll get my revenge!

Also, its not because she is jealous/into me- like I said, we prank each other, and as for my roommate being in her underwear thats not unusual, we both do it and she is very free with her body. Personally I think its great she is so confident, which I respect (since it's made bloody hard for women these days).

As for the lot of you who were like 'fuck her, she owes you' thats kinda sick. You don't 'owe' someone sex for anything, especially not a prank. However she really can't complain if I scare off her next date!

Revenge prank ideas are welcome, I'm thinking chilli in her cereal for starters..

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Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48374) - you deserved it (11079)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)

thanks4support's comment about their FML

OP here, first off I am not overweight, just gained about ten pounds shortly out of nowhere. Thank you to all of those who did have health concerns I am looking into all that.

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Today, my son gave me some flowers for Mother's Day. Unfortunately, the only time I can enjoy them is when I go into the bathroom where they are kept so the cat doesn't eat them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38716) - you deserved it (6085)

On 05/11/2014 at 10:27pm - kids - by darquedraconian - United States (South Dakota)

darquedraconian's comment about their FML

OP here. Just to clarify--my son has ADHD and went out to the field by our house to pick the flowers, so I'm pretty sure that the reason the cat tried to eat them is because he's an indoor cat was trying to see if it was edible. I'm truly blessed to have such a wonderful son!

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Today, some thieves broke into my church and stole our cameras, monitors, and some other hardware. We were planning to use them for the security system we were about to install. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42079) - you deserved it (5933)

On 05/11/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by cakefete2 (man) - United States (California)

cakefete2's comment about their FML

I can't speak for the finances of every church, but at my church we are not flush with cash in the way a mega church might be. We are called to be stewards of the property God had given us and to this end, we asked people to dig deep that we could fill the need that was evident. Sadly, after the sacrifices that were made, we can't help but be hurt. Still, Christians are versed in hardship and overcoming adversity. We will pray for the thief, ask healing for the church, and seek blessings to continue to meet the needs of the community.

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Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49708) - you deserved it (3507)

On 05/11/2014 at 12:13am - work - by ktmla - United States (Florida)

ktmla's comment about their FML

OP here. To those of you who referred to me as "he"... I'm a girl :) I work at Hollister and the jacket is actually one my friend from Georgia gave me. It's his school jacket so I'm not sure why she wanted it.
#1 Damn straight.
#2 We don't but I'll make sure to put it in the suggestion box :-)
#3 I was worried she would try to jack it (get it)...
#18 I would've assumed the same thing had it not be from a school in a different state.
#24 It's one of those things where it's only nice to me for sentimental reasons haha. Thanks though.
#28 Although that is often true my manager is really cool so after the whole thing was over I was able to explain exactly what happened and I didn't get in trouble.
#44 Thank you for your novel :-) you rock.
#48/71 (and anyone's else who wanted clarification): I know your comment was buried but actually we do have that exact rule. We aren't allowed to have any personal items visible except for the clothes/accessories we are wearing (which are required to be from the store as part of the dress code). My jacket was actually behind the counter in a place not visible to customers and had she not been walking behind the counter (against the rules btw) to get to the dressing rooms she never would've seen it. I just couldn't include that in the 300 character fml.
#64 I'm guessing that was a joke :) But if you were serious then if you are ever working in retail don't do anything like that unless you want to get fired.
#67 More than you know.
#74 Nah, she was just a bitch.
#73 By fill pup I'm assuming you mean follow up. But you're right some people can really be jerks sometimes!
#88 Exactly.
#66 Obviously (not a) Product
#83 The only place I told her to go was hell.. Wow, just kidding, that was dramatic of me. But no it was a school jacket.
#84 I'm sorry that sucks..

Sorry this is so long I wanted to try to reply to as many people as possible.

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Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40951) - you deserved it (3643)

On 05/09/2014 at 2:06am - work - by CapnCrunchKat - United States (Delaware)

CapnCrunchKat's comment about their FML

OP here. I don't have time to reply to every single comment, so here's the answers to all of your questions:

1. I was there because I was shopping. I work retail. Duh. "Store manager".

2. I resigned four months ago, with this manager witnessing.

Also, I'm not a "he". Lol.

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Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (53193) - you deserved it (11188)

On 05/08/2014 at 5:49pm - kids - by unlovedmommy (woman) - United States (Texas)

unlovedmommy's comment about their FML

OP here! My son says funny things like this frequently, and it never offends me! I encourage his sense of humor, even if he doesn't know what he's saying or why it's funny! I even tell other people about it, so they can get a laugh too. I was encouraged by my brother to post on fml, because it was that funny! He'll tell me sometimes that I don't look pretty yet until I've completed my make-up. That question made my day. After he said it, I just started laughing really hard, and said that was funny. He said it wasn't funny, and told me to stop laughing, which made it funnier! I'm married, so I'm not trying to get someone to love me. I don't really wear a lot of make-up anyway, so it's not really the "high school girl make-up" thing either. And I am an adult. Oh yea, and I say "restroom"! Thanks for all the caring and funny comments! :)

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Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23744) - you deserved it (33714)

On 05/03/2014 at 6:44pm - misc - by Chilaxe - United States (Kansas)

Chilaxe's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here, thought I'd comment to clear some stuff up.
First, I really enjoy wrestling, I've done it since a young age and I love the competitiveness, the endurance it takes, ALMOST everything about it lol. It was just a bad day and that happening it just annoyed me, honestly, if you wrestle and that hasn't happened once, you're lucky lol, happens to the best.
Also, I didn't mean to give a bad name to wrestling at all, trust me, I know all the jokes about it and it bothers me as much as any other wrestler, but hey, that stuff happens, you just ignore it and keep going.
I did enjoy reading your comments though lol

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Today, my wrists were hurting really bad while working the production line. I was told to let my supervisor know so he can help accommodate it. Both supervisors responded by ending my employment there to make sure I don't suffer long term damage. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41156) - you deserved it (4323)

On 05/02/2014 at 5:36am - work - by mousiepie - United States (California)

mousiepie's comment about their FML

well, it was a contracting job. I've had weak wrists all my life but I normally just wear wrist braces and I do just fine. I hadn't wanted to say anything but also having still been new, I figured the bulk of the pain was from the repetitive motions from a 12 hour shift and that once I had been there a while, most of the pain would disappear. When my coworkers noticed the pain from my hands not working properly they suggested the nurse and I asked if she can provide a wrist wrap. They then said I needed to talk to my supervisor before the nurse and being a medical facility, they stated that they can't say they care about saving lives and the safety of the employees if they allow me to get hurt. They then directed me to my contracting supervisor who stated they will find a clerical type job for me. I just felt lame for the fact that for once I was told I couldn't perform a job because I might injure myself. :/ I appreciate the support and kindness though. Thank you.

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Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41608) - you deserved it (3165)

On 05/02/2014 at 3:11am - work - by kendrox (woman) - United States (Indiana)

kendrox's comment about their FML

Oh wow I didn't think this would make it on there! Hello everyone, I am the original poster of this FML! No, I did not call the police. In other, more serious situations, I have. I did not say once that he was a danger to me, there was no need for him to get in trouble for this! It just made my night a lot harder! I left him be for a couple hours and when it came time for me to set up breakfast, I knocked on the bathroom door and gave him some coffee. He thanked me the next night. He seemed to be a very sweet man, just very very inebriated...

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Today, I had to once again lie to a customer about why I was the only one manning the shop, saying that they must have run out for lunch - my coworkers were too busy getting stoned in their cars to do their job. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41287) - you deserved it (5005)

On 05/01/2014 at 8:07pm - work - by FallingNinjaa (woman) - United States (Florida)

FallingNinjaa's comment about their FML

OP here. I don't use this site enough to know that I needed an account to reply... I'm a barber. We're all independent contractors and we don't make money unless we're physically working. I make good money and have no intention of quitting; my problem with my coworkers getting stoned is that customers have an unnecessary wait time when they should be able to be served immediately, and when they do come back in, it looks bad on everyone as a whole for them to smell like that on the clock - an no, they're perfumes aren't cloaking it. The boss knows they smoke, she knows they smoke on the clock, but when anyone tells her that someone is being lax, her response is "well more money for you, then." Again, that's not the problem I'm having. I actually like my job, and I want customers to actually have a good experience when they're there. With what my coworkers are doing, they're not. Also, it's an independent store. There is no HR, no corporate, just the woman who owns the business itself - she's the only boss.

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