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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36634) - you deserved it (6416)

On 07/26/2014 at 6:09pm - money - by ChristinePi - United States (New York)

ChristinePi's comment about their FML

It was a nightmare to me because once you scratch a nonstick pan you're supposed to throw it away because underneath the coating there's a bunch of bad chemicals that increase your chances of getting cancer. I don't have the money to replace the pan and it wasn't cheap either.

Dreams aren't logical, you cannot always control how you feel in them. I know it's silly but in the dream I was very upset about my pan and I woke up distraught. Hence why I consider it a nightmare.

Funny enough, I actually did end up scratching one of my pots recently. I'm too poor to buy a new one so I am still using it. OTL

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Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29032) - you deserved it (51738)

On 07/25/2014 at 8:05am - work - by Ballsy427 (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Ballsy427's comment about their FML

I am a design engineer. My boss is good looking, but married. I apologised the next day, she said no hard feelings, pun intended. 'she's very funny'

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Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47814) - you deserved it (13887)

On 07/24/2014 at 7:24pm - love - by Kewl_Kat - United States (Vermont)

Kewl_Kat's comment about their FML

UPDATE: We cleared it up, and are currently planning a second date. Turns out she wasn't feeling well. It all ended up working out c:

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Today, the fire alarm went off at work. My office is on the second floor, and the door to the stairs were jammed shut. The only way out was jumping out the window. The best part was breaking my leg due to someone burning their lunch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45272) - you deserved it (8287)

On 07/23/2014 at 9:34pm - health - by timv94 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

timv94's comment about their FML

I'm the only person on the second floor. We have HIGHLY explosive chemicals in the labs on the first floor. I'd rather have a broken leg than blow up and die.

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Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52779) - you deserved it (4988)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm - kids - by TCRII - United States (Virginia)

TCRII's comment about their FML

He has been in summer camp the last couple of weeks. His group did an obstacle course through the woods and they had to get everyone over a 6 foot high wooden wall. Pretty sure he got it from that. No signs of infection.

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Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28864) - you deserved it (46489)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:04pm - animals - by AylaMarie92 - Canada (British Columbia)

AylaMarie92's comment about their FML

OP here. I definitely threw away the toothbrush after this, and brushed my teeth with a brand new, mouse-free toothbrush for about 2 hours straight, and listerine listerine listerine o.o I keep my old toothbrushes around for such occasions when there's a hard to reach, disgusting mess to deal with such as this one XD Thanks for all your comments, I've had my tetanus shot lmao, still going to get checked out by a doctor ASAP

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Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54903) - you deserved it (7038)

On 07/21/2014 at 8:58am - kids - by Pandamomma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Pandamomma's comment about their FML

hi. OP here. I said FML because I ended up having to apologize and act as if I was sincere. I failed miserably and ended up laughing hysterically. I did feel a little bad.

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Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40312) - you deserved it (7572)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:30am - animals - by murrrrf - United States (Missouri)

murrrrf's comment about their FML

OP Captain is pushing 25 lbs. he's a big cat. And is very violent when he's scared. Also he likes to hide in odd places. So the recling couch is his favorite fort. The rest of you, I'm
Not explaining shit. I

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Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24584) - you deserved it (46888)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:22pm - misc - by 2013bchan41 (man) - United States (New York)

2013bchan41's comment about their FML

Hey guys, this is the OP here, and this is actually my first FML ever :3

This actually happened to me back in September, I was on the highway on my way to school. What happened was the traffic was so bumper-to-bumper, due to a bigger accident ahead. I had my foot on the brake, so the car was stopped at the time (I wasn't driving while looking.) That's when I decided to look around and saw a lady with her eyes shut in the car next to me. I guess my foot slipped off the brake ever so slightly, because next thing I heard was a thump (the cars were so close together it happened in an instant.) Luckily we were able to pull over, and the lady didn't seem too angry at me. Neither of our bumpers were damaged too much, so I just called my dad and had her speak with him. In the end, I just paid them $600 instead of going to insurance, and my car (luckily) didn't suffer too much damage. Yes, I know it was my fault, and I've learned from my mistake, so now, even in heavy traffic, eyes on the road only!

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Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38402) - you deserved it (17164)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

LissaMccracken's comment about their FML

Wow! I must really deserve this! Haha well to clear this up, this restroom was one that had more than one stall. There were plenty of other toilets, she was just upset that the one she wanted was taken. But thanks to all the people saying really nice things!!! It means a lot!

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Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43630) - you deserved it (9909)

On 07/17/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by lolateverything - United States (New Jersey)

lolateverything's comment about their FML

Hahaha I'm the OP. The comments are hilarious! :)

The post office mailbox and the library book drop aren't right next to each other. They are near each other, but far away enough to easily distinguish which one is which. One is blue and the other is grey, so my mistake is even more
pathetic LOL.

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Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38620) - you deserved it (9022)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:02am - misc - by Sheh (woman) - Sweden

Sheh's comment about their FML

The bag of rice didn't have any handle, so I held it kinda resting against my torso, just like when holding my cat.
I guess it has just become a habit.

Loving all the puns :)

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Today, I went to fill out my time sheet. Someone had edited it, and now it suddenly ends August 22nd. I think I'm getting fired. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40166) - you deserved it (3722)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:26am - work - by smpenn89 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

smpenn89's comment about their FML

OP Here! As of last week, my time sheet( a simple excel sheet) listed all the dates through the end of the year. Now it does not. Yes, I understand that it is still over a month away, but since my current project is a procedure list of everything I do, how I do it, and passwords of everything, I am guessing they need me to finish this first. I am not confrontational, and understand I need to speak to my bosses, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet. I went looking on craigslist for job postings-found one Identical to the job I currently hold...and since I was hired through craigslist...yeah that about sums it up. Actively looking for a new job- if they cant be professional enough to fire me the right way, they don't deserve to have me anyway.

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