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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, the dry skin on my feet has gotten so bad that my boyfriend uses my feet to itch his legs when we're cuddling. FML

#21333189
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18444) - you deserved it (19759)

On 01/08/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by bailey_biz - United States (New York)

bailey_biz's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here. I lotion my feet multiple times a day. I also work at a place that requires me to constantly be on my feet. It's not like I don't try to fix it. I've had it for a long time now, I even have my own pedicure instruments and sugar scrub, but it doesn't help get my feet 100% smooth.

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Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

#21332893
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28462) - you deserved it (2282)

On 01/07/2015 at 7:52pm - misc - by Lily_Rain77 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Lily_Rain77's comment about their FML

the best part wad when he looked at me afterwards and he realised what .he said.

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Today, I thought one of my flatmates was beating his girlfriend, so I barged in about to stop him. Turned out they were having really rough sex. FML

#21332517
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33413) - you deserved it (8470)

On 01/07/2015 at 3:31am - intimacy - by JefferyLillie (man) - United States (North Dakota)

JefferyLillie's comment about their FML

He and I both came from a bad back rounds. He turned some what out like his father. I've seen him him it women but never like beat them. We're as I turned out like my step dad.

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Today, I finally met my long-distance boyfriend of three years for the first time in person. After an amazing dinner and movie date, we went back to his house, only for him to dump me half an hour later. Not because I wouldn't have sex with him. No, his cat doesn't like me. FML

#21332217
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30861) - you deserved it (7405)

On 01/06/2015 at 7:32pm - animals - by dragonfyre73 (woman) - United States (California)

dragonfyre73's comment about their FML

OP here, as for all of you asking how we went three years without meeting each other, we meet in an online chatroom and became close friends. we knew each for about a year and a half before he asked me out. I was dubious as to how such a relationship would work, but it actually worked remarkably well. I personally am not the biggest fan of people or of physical contact, so having a boyfriend with whom I could only talk worked wonderfully for me. We did want to meet up in person sooner, but the travel costs along with more than a few family disagreements about the relation kinda made that a little bit difficult.
We actually got back together later in my stay and he says that it was a joke. considering that he's always had an awful sense of humor, it really doesn't surprise me. I just wish that he'd been just a /touch/ more considerate. As it turns our, he had realized that he'd left the ring box on his bedside table and wanted to keep the proposal secret so yeah.

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Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML

#21332095
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34283) - you deserved it (3191)

On 01/06/2015 at 4:06pm - health - by immaloser95 - United States (Michigan)

immaloser95's comment about their FML

OP here, and loving these awesome puns. I'm glad some of you get to laugh at my pain! :)
Let me explain my story. I've been working on horse farms my entire life. For those of you who don't know, an electric fence is for keeping the horses from knocking down the fences and escaping (not fun). They're very hard to see, as they run right the along the top edge of the fence, and especially hard to notice if you aren't looking for them. I've been shocked loads of times out of carelessness, but this time, it wasn't entirely my fault.
Here in Michigan, weather is about as bipolar as is gets. It was raining the morning prior to my fall, and it was snowing at the time, covering the ice. And no, I was not running. It is possible to slip on ice while walking.
I really wish there was a camera there. I feel like I may have just looked like a cartoon. It did hurt, but my boss and co-stable hand were laughing their asses off, and eventually so was I. I don't think they'll let this one go for a long time!

Oh, and as for the person who said I worked around exotic plants....wtf?

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Today, while at work at a call center, I got a call from an elderly man who needed a new credit card because he'd accidentally cut up his own card instead of his wife's. Trying to be funny, I said "Trying to keep her in line, eh?" Turns out his wife had just died. FML

#21330070
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29598) - you deserved it (19227)

On 01/03/2015 at 3:20pm - work - by kbug95 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

kbug95's comment about their FML

OP here!
Thanks for the support and all. The cardmember was actually really understanding about it. I immediately apologized, but he was really cool. Could have been a bad situation furshur. I'm glad he wasn't a grumpy old man!

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Today, I went on a first date, only for us to find the restaurant wasn't open on New Year's Day. My date suggested going to the mall instead. We drove in our own cars. Me: the mall, him: home. I waited for 40 minutes before realising he'd stood me up. Happy New Year to me. FML

#21328493
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34453) - you deserved it (2782)

On 01/01/2015 at 6:56am - love - by newyearstandup - Australia

newyearstandup's comment about their FML

Thanks for the support guys. To answer some of your questions....

The mall was suggested by him as we figured it was the only place we knew 100% was open. I don't think he suggested a closed restaurant deliberately. In my city it's touch and go what will be open on public holidays. We knew exactly where to meet - where all the restaurants are at the mall. And I did call and message a couple of times but received nothing back. He also deleted me from the dating site we met on. So it was a clear ditch. He knew what I looked like beforehand so dunno what it was!

And we basically just had a one minute conversation so doubt I could have pissed him off in that little amount of time! Very doubtful he was in an accident.

Definitely dodged a bullet I think. Hopefully this doesn't set the tone for 2015!

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Today, my aunt and uncle came into the restaurant I work at to give me a late Christmas gift. The gift was the $20 tip they left, which got divided amongst all the staff. FML

#21327459
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28038) - you deserved it (1896)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:26pm - misc - by cannedpeas - Canada (Alberta)

cannedpeas's comment about their FML

Well this got posted surprisingly fast

To clarify: they didn't realize that the tips we receive are for everyone, not just the waitresses. I didn't bother asking then for another $20 because I figured, hey, it's the thought that counts, and I ended up getting a decent tip pay that night anyways. Thanks for the nice comments :)

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Today, I called asking about a job I interviewed for 3 weeks ago. It's a scummy call center where known drug addicts work. They told me I wasn't getting the job. I guess my high school diploma and being drug-free makes me not good enough to work there. FML

#21327184
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26363) - you deserved it (4048)

On 12/30/2014 at 1:40pm - work - by lexithepirate (woman) - United States (Michigan)

lexithepirate's comment about their FML

my what? oh I'm sorry, I mean people who abuse money by buying drugs should definitely get a job over me. I mean it's not like I'm trying to save up so I can afford college or anything. Fuck off.

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Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

#21326843
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27541) - you deserved it (1955)

On 12/29/2014 at 11:14pm - work - by BlondePsycho - United States (New York)

BlondePsycho's comment about their FML

OP here to answer your question, yes it is a woman doing this, and shes not religious or modest in the least, her phones background photo is a picture of her own ass in a thong bikini while she tries to stare at the camera over her shoulder. I work on a different floor with a different bathroom so thankfully i never saw the offense myself but i had a number of complaints from women that they walked in on her with her pants down splashing around in the sink and any attempts to confront her about this result in her either ignoring that shes being spoken to or bursting into tears and denying shes doing anything wrong,
(Which is bulls*** i have atleast 8
witnesses to the contrary) Better still, my male supervisors both find this hilarious and dont want to deal with it for fear of being accused of sexual harassment. I was going to post a sign in the bathroom along the lines of "Please do not wash your venereal diseased vagina in our sink" but our lawyer says this is inappropriate so i guess i have to make something else. Bottom line is if youre making people uncomfortable in your office maybe you should find some other place to douche yourself.

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Today, my wife started a 24 hour urine collection as directed by the doctor for her pregnancy. She has to collect the urine in a gallon jug, and refrigerate it. At lunch time, I went to go get the rest of my sandwich but was unable to find it, until she suggested I "look under the piss jug." FML

#21326619
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24834) - you deserved it (2265)

On 12/29/2014 at 5:07pm - misc - by Nolimit2217 (man) - United States

Nolimit2217's comment about their FML

I thought it was funny. I understand the seriousness of pre-eclampsia since it happened with our first child too. Don't get on a high horse with me. I support my wife through and through, just had a funny moment I wanted to share.

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Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

#21326530
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32000) - you deserved it (4046)

On 12/29/2014 at 2:11pm - misc - by danielzcwu (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

danielzcwu's comment about their FML

Here's my original post on FB. FML condense make us condense it to 300 words :p

aww man.. Just went through one of the most awkward moments of my life.
I Just got off the plane from Taipei to hk, during the flight I fell asleep and had a nightmare. I can't remember what it was about. But, I think I was being attacked.
So anyway, I started screaming in my dream, unfortunately that translated to screaming in reality as well. It was a loud scream as well cause it was enough to wake me up.
The good and also funny thing is it wasn't just me screaming, there was this old lady sitting next to me, who I guess after I was screaming also started screaming.... It was like domino scream!
Luckily I still had my eyes closed and realized it was too awkward and embarrassing to explain myself, I could hear people laughing behind me, beside me and in front.. So I just kept my eyes closed.
Seriously , one of the most awkward moments I've been in, it took all my will power to continue pretending to sleep and self control not to laugh cause that old aunty screaming after I screamed was Damn funny... I did a muffled giggle when she was saying ... omg this boy scared me to death..
Luckily someone said quite loudly poor kid he must've had a nightmare..
Sigh.... FML

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Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

#21325569
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31365) - you deserved it (2798)

On 12/27/2014 at 10:57pm - misc - by idkgiraffes - United States (Washington)

idkgiraffes's comment about their FML

OP here, she eventually caved and gave it to me but she said "if House of Cards randomly stops, I know who to blame."

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