Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I was hanging out with my neighbor. He asked me if I wanted to play Twister, and I said no because I thought it would be weird. What was his response? "C'mon. You can leave if it gets sexual". FML

#21446693
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22991) - you deserved it (1872)

On 07/24/2015 at 7:20pm - misc - by mcore - United States (Ohio)

mcore's comment about their FML

To explain a little bit more, I've known my neighbor for almost 10 years. We were best friends growing up, and are still really good friends today. I'm pretty sure he was joking when he said it, but it was still weird and out of the blue. And for the person who asked, no, I definitely did not play.

See all the comments

Today, my boyfriend gave me serious shit because I couldn't name 10 Pokémon. He said he even considered dumping me. Glad to know he has his priorities straight. FML

#21446653
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23688) - you deserved it (10291)

On 07/24/2015 at 5:51pm - love - by KatzVKatz (woman) - Slovenia (Novo mesto Urban Commune)

KatzVKatz's comment about their FML

Hey, I didn't think this would get published, but here it is! Now for some explanations:

1. I did watch Pokemon when I was younger and I liked it. When he dared me to name 10 first gen Pokemon I was sure I could do it ... Guess my memory is not that good, but I already know that :D
2. He did admit eventually that he was sorta kinda joking. I knew he couldn't be serious about dumping me, but he did take the joke a bit too far, like yelling at me and sulking for half an hour.
3. I do take interest in his interests, we talk a lot about the games he plays and the series he watches, and do a lot of stuff together. We do have a lot in common. It's just that where he likes Pokemon to the point of fangirling about it, I'm the same with Harry Potter and Dr. Who.
4. I asked him to name ten spells from Harry Potter and he couldn't do it, so I guess we're even! Ha! :D

See all the comments including 13 other original poster's reactions

Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I had a condom they could use. FML

#21445714
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27682) - you deserved it (2124)

On 07/22/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by oil300 - Australia (South Australia)

oil300's comment about their FML

Ahahah some of the comments here are pretty funny...but some are pretty off...you weirdos

See all the comments

Today, while working security at my job, for the second time, a man with Down's Syndrome entered the store, went to one of the demo computers, opened YouTube, pulled up a video of oiled women wrestling and jerked off. There is no protocol in the handbook for how to deal with this scenario. FML

#21445276
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30946) - you deserved it (2118)

On 07/22/2015 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Bishop423 (man) - United States (California)

Bishop423's comment about their FML

OP here. Yes it was the same guy both times. The reason why I didn't call the police is because he didn't actually expose himself. He clearly knew that he was doing something wrong because he checked to see if we were watching. I asked two different managers what to do, and both failed to provide a satisfactory answer so I was left to my own devices. The first time I caught him I told him he wasn't allowed to do that. The second time I actually closed the browser and told him that this was the last time this was gonna happen.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I attended a new class at college. It was a class to help people with Asperger's adjust to college, which my parents pushed me into taking. It was incredibly condescending and insulting, and it felt like a class for preschoolers. My parents won't let me drop the class. FML

#21445020
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24196) - you deserved it (2694)

On 07/21/2015 at 1:45pm - misc - by AdamTB (man) - United States

AdamTB's comment about their FML

Huh, surprised this got published. Anyway, a lot of the comments are about me just taking control and dropping it and that’s probably not going to change, so I’ll just comment the reason why I haven’t now.

Due to my Asperger’s, my parents feel like I am not self-sufficient and I cannot make my own decisions. Naturally, this is completely false. However, due to college being ungodly expensive, I’m living with them until I can become financially stable. Now then, onto the problem. Dropping the class is a great idea in theory, but that’s not going to happen in practice. Trust me, if I could then I would.

If I drop the class, my parents will definitely know. They will then proceed to, for lack of a better phrase, bitch me out for dropping it without consulting them (which I have done, and they refused to let me drop it). They are not abusive, but can be relentless and admittedly scary at times. I’d rather take a demeaning class than have to deal with them.

Does that sound like a childish reason? If it does, I don’t blame you. I’ve always been constantly told that I’m mentally and emotionally a few years behind normal people. Sometimes, I don’t know whether to believe it or not. Regardless, my best option is to just move forward with the class no matter what happens.

Also, this is probably going to be brought up so I’ll just talk about it now: no, I cannot move out. They will not let me as they do not believe I could survive by myself yet. Even if I were to just run away and move out, I still don’t have the finances to buy a even an apartment room and continue with college.

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, after hours of waiting in line, I finally met my favorite band. After posing for a picture, I looked at my phone to find that instead of taking a picture with me and the band, my friend took selfies. FML

#21444455
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31043) - you deserved it (2753)

On 07/20/2015 at 11:10am - love - by simply_meeeee - United States (Illinois)

simply_meeeee's comment about their FML

I'm surprised mine got published! And yeah, I was furious with her. Consider her unfriended!

See all the comments

Today, I was fired from my dream job for being pregnant. Apparently, you can't teach children while growing one inside you. FML

#21444439
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31631) - you deserved it (2117)

On 07/20/2015 at 10:29am - work - by mrsmahdi - United States (California)

mrsmahdi's comment about their FML

They fired me in a clever way by telling me they didn't have anything for me to teach and that me going on maternity leave was too hard on the students I had so someone else was doing my classes. So I was not officially fired so much as pushed out and replaced

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, the AC broke at work. I work in a hotel and every single guest asked me if I knew how hot it was in the lobby. It was 96 degrees for 7 hours. I definitely knew. FML

#21444364
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25143) - you deserved it (1491)

On 07/20/2015 at 3:32am - work - by lissabobissa (woman) - United States (California)

lissabobissa's comment about their FML

Hello everyone! OP here. Anyways, it was pretty funny after a while how all the guests kept trying to make small talk about the heat while I was visibly sweaty and annoyed (attractive, I know.) Luckily we have a shuttle and I periodically just went out and sat in it for a few minutes with the AC blasting in my face so it helped a little. Also, my boss called in a technician the next day who fixed it. Hopefully it doesn't happen again because it was horrible and having to wear long sleeves, a vest, and a tie as the uniform didn't help! :(

See all the comments

Today, I witnessed the most awful park job ever. Without thinking, I found a piece of paper and wrote on the back, "Nice park, asshole". Turns out it was an old airline boarding pass, and my name, address and phone number were neatly displayed with the message. FML

#21442815
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11616) - you deserved it (35780)

On 07/17/2015 at 12:12am - misc - by Queensland - Australia

Queensland's comment about their FML

Hey guys OP here. No stabbings or death threats as of yet, but still keeping low for a few days.
Additionally, I highly doubt that the vehicle owner would come to my house as this happened in Sydney and I live in Brisbane! When I get back home, however, I assume I'll have a letter or two... :)

I'm not too worried though. The idiot is a Subaru driver, he'll probably pussy out.

P.S. Up the maroons!!

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, my boyfriend didn't break up with me, but his mom did. FML

#21442668
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26755) - you deserved it (1882)

On 07/16/2015 at 5:04pm - love - by veryunluckygirl - United States (Kentucky)

veryunluckygirl's comment about their FML

OP here. Let me explain a bit. I knew it take more than 300 letters to explain everything. He's 17. It was not his idea at all. We've figured out how to make this work out. But this is how it went, she told him that we could only be friends (and still hang out though) but if we continued dating she was going to call my mom and tell her that she knows that we've been having sex. My mom would have believed her so we decided to just tell his family that we are "just friends" we're still dating right now. But once he turns 18 it's not her decision to not let him leave anymore. In the past 9 months she said that she doesn't hate me. That it was just the "environment I live in" which I find extremely idiotic. I mean I live in a good home and with good people. But it's whatever. Once he's 18 he probably won't have anything to do with his parents though.

See all the comments including 16 other original poster's reactions

Today, after working a double shift, I got home to total pandemonium. My dogs had crapped all over the house, my kitchen was soaking wet, etc. My mother, who just moved in with me, was sitting on the couch, saying she had no idea what happened. FML

#21441631
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24236) - you deserved it (1913)

On 07/14/2015 at 4:16pm - misc - by ArtemisRwill (woman) - United States (California)

ArtemisRwill's comment about their FML

Hey.
First off, my mom moved in with me because she lost her job and couldn't afford her apartment anymore. I live in a 3 bedroom house, so I was being nice and let her move in. She has no ailments.
Second, my dogs have a door that is open into a dog run. I can't do a dog door because I have a Great Dane and a Bully Pit. I live about 5 minutes from work. I go home at lunch everyday. I couldn't yesterday because I was covering for 2 sick coworkers.
Third, my dogs crapped all over the house because SOMEONE shut their door. And my kitchen was speaking wet (with water) because SOMEONE burned their lunch and instead of using the fire extinguisher, that went outside and grabbed the garden hose.
After I had to clean everything up, BY MY SELF, my mom finally fessed up. I'm trying to get my sister to take her so that I and my dogs can live in peace again.

See all the comments

Today, an old friend and I reconnected. Everything was going fine until he threatened to visit me at work. I didn't know he knew my place of employment, so I replied, "Do you know where I live too?" He answered, "Would you hate me if I did?" FML

#21441612
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (1909)

On 07/14/2015 at 3:44pm - love - by kerripjones - United States (New Jersey)

kerripjones's comment about their FML

Hi! OP here. Just to clarify on some things-
I met this guy in high school and the last time we spoke was in 2011 before he sent me a message less than a week ago.
My Facebook is very private, I don't automatically connect my location, and I have never posted anything to show my current location. I am currently living outside of city limits, on a hill not visible from the main road, with only four other houses, and one road to get to and leave the house. All this made it seem even more suspicious that he knew where I was.
When I frantically confronted, he tried to act like he didn't know exactly where I lived, and said "someone" showed him the general area.
I apologize for the "a" instead of "an". He had just revealed his extra creepy status when I posted this so I was still shaken up and grammar wasn't at the forefront of my mind.
Thank you to all who posted concern for my safety!

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 weeks showed up at my house at 7 AM. I was about to give him a kiss when he said, "Good morning, is Sarah here?" I was confused until I realized he didn't recognize me because I had no make up on. FML

#21441400
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (10591)

On 07/14/2015 at 2:42am - love - by sarahxHx - United States (California)

sarahxHx's comment about their FML

Hey it's OP. We stood there for a good 5 seconds until he realized it was actually me. He sincerely apologized and he said he hope it didn't offend me. He's a really nice guy and I'm happy to be dating him! :) We went hiking that morning. And for those saying I wear too much makeup on, I don't. I simply have super light eyebrows and eyelashes, and girls here would understand that doing your eyebrows and putting on black mascara makes a HUGE difference. For my face, I only wear a light coverage tinted moisturizer. You're all so quick to judge. SMH.

See all the comments including 8 other original poster's reactions



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: