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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, some asshat ran onto the road and tried and jump over my car as I drove by. He didn't make the jump. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25551) - you deserved it (1681)

On 06/21/2015 at 12:57am - misc - by gurding (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

gurding's comment about their FML

Oh wow, didn't think this'd get posted... thanks so much for all the support guys! (OP here)

Bit of follow up, this happened a few nights ago actually, I was driving through a residential area (lots of trees lining the road). The guy was a teenager, he was doing a 'stunt' while his mates filmed. He ran out from behind a tree, I didn't have enough time to stop completely, but I braked and swerved on instinct. He clipped his leg on the front bumper and rolled over my car, and his friends all bailed.

I called the ambulance straight away, they took him to hospital with a broken leg and concussion (he was lucky it was just that). My car isn't in great condition either, he managed to leave a solid dent in my bonnet and crush my windscreen. To be honest, I'm just happy I didn't kill him, but the problem is that laws around here are VERY strict when it comes to these kinds of accidents, so unless I can prove that he was at fault, benefit of the doubt goes towards him if his parents decide to sue. The police who came to the scene were very sympathetic, but there's not much they can do. They're trying to find out who the guy's friends were, so hopefully they get that video evidence.

Thanks once again for the support, and I'll give you all an update soon!

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Today, I was walking behind my mother when she was mowing the lawn. She unknowingly mowed over a wasps' nest that was in the grass. Guess who the wasps decided to seek revenge on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25125) - you deserved it (3194)

On 06/19/2015 at 11:43pm - animals - by WCARlover - United States (Maine)

WCARlover's comment about their FML

OP here...this actually happened a while ago but thank you for the concern for people who expressed it! I was walking behind her because she wanted me to finish mowing the lawn but told me to just wait until she got this little strip behind a fence done so I was following her to take over the mowing on the other side. They were Yellow Jackets, I got stung multiple times, and it was extremely unpleasant, but hey, it got me out of mowing! ;)

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Today, I went to the restaurant I recently got a job at, to take the introductory three hour training course. Afterwards, I was told I wasn't hired after all. Why? The girl I was replacing suddenly decided she didn't want to move away and quit after all. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23816) - you deserved it (1570)

On 06/19/2015 at 2:26pm - work - by nightfall8705 (woman) - United States

nightfall8705's comment about their FML

OP here! There is so much more to this story than I'm not going into, but the jist of it is this: I was to replace this chick who was supposed to be moving to Texas with her "church" and I was perfect to fill in her absence. The dumbledouche hiring manager told me several times I was hired and that the girl was moving and all that. Then the excuses start for why I couldn't take my test. First, the computer was down. Second, the manager said he was managing 3 stores at once because another manager had a "heart attack", and the third time was because he "had an emergency" situation last week, and told me to come in yesterday.

After the test, he broke the news to me that his thundercunt (my words, not his) employee decided she wasn't going to move to Texas after all, because her baby daddy were here and she needed money from him and that she found out the welfare was better in SC than Texas.

I probably won't even get paid for my time, but that's not even what I'm pissed about. Turns out that "emergency" the hiring manager had was a vacation in Hawaii. He must have forgotten the lie he told me, because those words came directly from his cum balloon mouth. I've got an interview for a job on Monday for an even better restaurant anyway, so screw em'.

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Today, I had to take my daughter to the ER. Her brother had bet she couldn't go the whole day without talking. So to win the bet, she tried to super-glue her lips together so she couldn't accidentally say anything. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26739) - you deserved it (2525)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:07pm - kids - by 1010110100101101 - United States (Wisconsin)

1010110100101101's comment about their FML

Hey guys op here and I want to say I'm surprised this got published. My daughter is only 8 and she is very competitive and will go at lengths end to win a bet. She did regret everything and it cost me $100 but at least she won $10 in the end.

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Today, I'm five and a half weeks pregnant. One of my coworkers told me that it sucks that I'll have to wait so long to show. I asked her what she meant; she replied, "It's always harder to tell when big girls are pregnant. Can't tell what's fat and what's baby." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28268) - you deserved it (4310)

On 06/18/2015 at 8:58pm - work - by pregnantfatty - Canada (Alberta)

pregnantfatty's comment about their FML

OP here. There are two reasons anyone at work knows I'm pregnant at this stage in the game.
Background: I stopped taking birth control 2 years ago and have had six periods in that time. I work in a doctor's office-I'm a nurse. My coworkers that work directly with me often convince me to take pregnancy tests because my cycle is so irregular.
I was experiencing what I thought were PMs symptoms-breast tenderness (to the point that it was painful to take my bra off at night), much more fatigue than usual, hormonal headaches, and some nausea when trying to eat in the morning but especially at night. I wasn't too concerned because the headaches had me convinced it was my period. My coworkers thought otherwise and told me after about two weeks of these symptoms that I was taking a pregnancy test on a Monday if I didn't start my period over the weekend. Well, I didn't get my period, obviously. I came in to work and that was the first thing the girls asked. I said no and was handed a urine sample cup. At that point, I was still convinced there was no way it was positive, so I did my sample, came back and gave it to the girl who was 100% sure I was pregnant, telling her "I don't even need to watch, I know it's negative!" Well, lo and behold, my pink positive line came up before the control line even showed up and my coworker rushed to my desk and said "congratulations!!!" I took 4 more tests that day and swore my coworkers to secrecy until I could tell my boyfriend-who was shocked because we had unprotected sex literally once and bam.
I told one of my other coworkers the next day-she's also a nurse and was one of my preceptors when I was a student. I wanted to know what I should tell our boss. I am currently covering someone's maternity leave at work, which ends in December, and then I theoretically go back to being casual. She told me I had to tell our boss immediately-apparently you have to work a certain number of hours to have maternity leave regardless of whether or not your position is permanent so she said "tell her and get your leave!" I told my boss, who was completely thrilled and told me that whatever I decided, there was a job for me in some capacity at our clinic so it went well. As for telling everyone when it's so early, I spoke with one of the docs I work with regarding prenatal testing because I don't have a doc. I put my name in his schedule so he could bill for it and stupidly thought that nobody would look in my chart.
As for my coworker, she's less than 5 feet tall and probably has a good 30 lbs on me. I'm not a stick, but I'm not "plus-sized" either. Before finding out I was pregnant, I had lost 20 lbs in order to help facilitate my boyfriend and I having kids... Down the road.
If you stayed with this novel of a follow-up, thanks for reading!

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Today, my father finally achieved his long-held goal. He has legally disowned me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31745) - you deserved it (2868)

On 06/16/2015 at 1:54am - kids - by _kyleG_ - United States (Pennsylvania)

_kyleG_'s comment about their FML

An explanation is probably in order here.
I am mentally and socially handicapped, brainwashed, and a worthless burden.
My father is a pillar of the community, a family man, and loves his poor, misguided child dearly.
-according to dear old dad, at any rate.

So, fact check:
I've just graduated high school with a 3.9 and lots of AP credits. I'll be going to college on academic scholarship as a biology major this fall.
I'm currently working full time in auto finance.
Also, I'm dating the most beautiful girl in the world.
My father(or ex-father?) is an abusive passive-aggressive narcissist. The last time I saw him, the police had to intervene so I could leave school without being forced to go with him. He didn't want to pay child support any longer, so the moment I turned 18, he filed for emancipation.

I have a court date in about a month, to get rid of the bastard's name and take my mother's maiden name.

I'm happy, and this is all for the best. Thank you all for your kind words- this community is awesome :)

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Today, my boyfriend told his friends he was dating me. We've been together for a year and a half. His friends didn't even know I existed before. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28205) - you deserved it (2768)

On 06/15/2015 at 9:48pm - love - by Myyrh (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Myyrh's comment about their FML

Yaaaaaay it got publiiiished ! :D

Hi everyone, OP here =)

Time for explainations ! We've been in a long distance relationship for one year and a half. So when he came to my place, I made him meet my family and friends because I was so happy to be with him, but when I came to his place, I never met anyone beside his brothers and parents (I still haven't met one of his brothers who lives far away from both my place and my bf's place).
My bf lives in a small village, his friends live somewhere else and so we could not randomly run into them either.
At first it pissed me off that he didn't want to tell anyone (even our friends who knew both of us), but then he started to be ok with it and to tell everyone how lucky he was to have me.
He told his very close friends though, but the other ones never knew about me.
For those who say I should find someone else : before meeting me he was with a girl during 5 years and that time his family didn't know about her, on Facebook he was even acting like "if you know a cute girl, intoduce her to me, you know I'm single" etc, whereas I managed to make him remove the "single" from his profile page (now there is nothing, it's not written "in a relationship" either but at least, other girls won't see he's "single" anymore) and I was the first girlfriend he ever brought back home and introduced to his family. So I'm kind of a big deal ;)
Tha main reason he didn't want to tell his friends is because he doens't like people to know about his private life, but also because he is tired of people gossiping.
Also I never insisted too much on meeting his friends because I am really really really shy and was ok with not having to meet people I didn't know but who had known my bf for years.
By the way, his friends were mad at him for not telling them for one and a half year, but he said it was his choice and he was ok with it.
And finally, I was not really complaining, but people here had the same reaction as some of my friends, and I thought it was an... original situation ! =)
So, there you go !

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Today, I found out why my mother-in-law kept asking for one particular photo of our baby. She just wanted to show off the blanket that she had made to her friends on Facebook. Her first grandchild was almost completely cropped out of the picture. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24182) - you deserved it (1904)

On 06/14/2015 at 4:27pm - misc - by AndyClara - Australia (New South Wales)

AndyClara's comment about their FML

I'm a midwife as well as a mother. I know the world doesn't revolve around me, and that people generally don't care about baby photos unless they know someone related to them or they are very well taken. I've met more new grandparents that I can count, her behaviour is just not typical of the average grandparent I meet. She is a lovely person, she is just not a baby person. No craft group and no other photos of the baby. She is not the worst Grandparent in the world and our baby is beautiful. I found the situation amusing and strange, which makes a perfect submission to FML, so I submitted it! Her reasoning behind it is she didn't want to look like she was showing off her work. The comment section of her Facebook was very amusing to read, almost as amusing as this one, so thanks for the laughs.

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Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (4705)

On 06/14/2015 at 1:16pm - work - by KingFML1 - United States (Pennsylvania)

KingFML1's comment about their FML

Hey guys OP here... Can't believe this was posted to be honest!!! I had to make a account so I could explain what happened..
First off, it is a FAKE tooth that I have had trouble with and has fallen out numerous times before this coincidence. I haven't had a real tooth in that spot for 5 years now, so when the fake tooth falls out it doesn't bother me. Well at least it didn't.
Unfortunately, the young girl was mortified, as was I?. She didn't eat her food after managers refunded and paid for a new meal, and replaced everything on the tray, (I felt terrible by the way). Although my managers were very understanding, the mother wasn't to happy and I doubt she'll be back(I don't blame her).
Looking back now, it will be a great story to tell my kids someday. Now I'm looking into implants instead of having the chance of my fake tooth falling out onto another tray of food.
Anyway thanks for the comments so far, you guys have me laughing my ass off! Keep it up, Thanks!!

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Today, I turned on an old radio I haven't used for a long time and a pack of very small spiders came rushing out of the speakers when I turned up the volume. Guess they didn't like the groove. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24489) - you deserved it (2148)

On 06/13/2015 at 5:20pm - animals - by sadbuttru95 - Denmark (Sjelland)

sadbuttru95's comment about their FML

OP here, the radio was, thankfully, in one of our sheds and I have now thrown it far, far away

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Today, the main file and backups of the book I've been writing for 2 and a half years mysteriously vanished. It turned out my mum decided that me spending so much time in my room must mean I'm watching porn, and so she trashed everything. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29157) - you deserved it (2005)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:37am - misc - by 4lphab3t4 (man) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

4lphab3t4's comment about their FML

Hi guys, OP here. To all of you who say this was a bit ambiguous, I ran out of space, so let me explain in more detail. I had 3 separate USBs, one of which I carry around my neck to prevent this from happening. Everything was clearly labelled and everyone was aware that I was writing a book. As for the USB around my neck, labelled "Confidential - Fuck off", I took it off for a shower, and when I came back... Poof! Gone. To those of you saying I should move out, I'm 16, so no chance of that happening. And when I said "Trashed" I meant literally gone. Everything downloaded onto a separate hard drive and removed while I was out of the house. As to how she guessed my password, I may never know. But yeah, this is my follow up, hope this clears things up somewhat.

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Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29241) - you deserved it (5373)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:38pm - intimacy - by Hey_Buddy_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Hey_Buddy_'s comment about their FML

My bf isn't the most publicly affectionate guy (and I'm not the most publicly affectionate girl either, so it works out) so we saw each other with friends for a few hours before retreating back to spend time with just each other.
I found this to be really funny, I just wanted to share it and didn't really have anyone to talk to about it and stuck it on here, never expecting it to be published. It's not like he hadn't said anything along those lines, just as far as saying "I missed you" my boobs and vagina got those first lol
Nope, my boyfriend is wonderful and makes me laugh like crazy, and I'm even sitting in his apartment visiting him for a few days right now, laughing at all the comments on this post.

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Today, I saw someone accidentally leave their headlights on downtown. Trying to be a helpful, I chased them down 2 blocks only to be informed that their headlights automatically turn off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22332) - you deserved it (5856)

On 06/10/2015 at 3:08am - misc - by TheGolfGTI - United States (Texas)

TheGolfGTI's comment about their FML

Thanks for all the friendly comments! The full story is that I was at outside of whole foods in my car when an old couple got out of their truck. I saw in my rear view mirror that they left their lights on. The street they were going down was a one way street, so I chased after them on foot. After some running and little shoving I reached them only for the wife to tell me "Oh hun, they turn off by themselves." I went back and yes, she was correct.

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