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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I was at the gym playing basketball. A very attractive girl chose me to be on her team. We were playing well and hitting it off. I had decided to ask for her number after the game, until I smashed the ball in her face, resulting in her having a broken nose. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22987) - you deserved it (3246)

On 08/02/2015 at 3:45pm - misc - by ChildishKeynote - United States (California)

ChildishKeynote's comment about their FML

Thank you for your support guys. I can confirm that she in fact hates my guts at this moment in time

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Today, while at work, I mustered up the courage to talk to a cute girl. I asked her name, to which I replied with mine and that it was nice to meet her. She followed up with a dirty look and the fact she hates anyone with my name. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25885) - you deserved it (1906)

On 08/01/2015 at 4:19pm - work - by I'mMike - United States (Florida)

arano's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here. Just wanted to clarify a couple of things: My name is "Mike," hence the name I used. I didn't call her any names or say anything witty back. I was honestly too dumbfounded by her saying that to me to think of anything, so I just walked away. Your comments are fucking hilarious though. They made me feel much better about the situation. Also I don't wear a name tag so when I introduced myself I couldn't really take it back. I like my name though, so she can shove it. (:

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Today, while volunteering at my local animal shelter, I was asked to clean the cat room. This entailed taking each cat out of its cage by hand and cleaning the inside. They forgot to mention that some of the cats were feral. I now look like I belly flopped into a cactus. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22510) - you deserved it (2167)

On 07/31/2015 at 11:20pm - animals - by hamiltonma - United States (North Carolina)

hamiltonma's comment about their FML

OP here! The people who were running the animal shelter literally put me in a small room with around 25 cats in cages and told me to clean them. I asked for gloves, and they had none. They also didn't mention that most of the cats in the room were caught off the street and were waiting to be spayed, and then re-released. I went to grab the first cat from the cage and put it into a carrier so I could clean the cage, and it literally went crazy. It grabbed ahold of my hand with it's teeth and started scratching all up and down my arms. After I showed the person in charge, they shrugged and told me to keep cleaning! I went home with scratches everywhere! Needless to say, I will not be returning! Thanks for all the comments everyone! I am feeling better today, and have been religiously applying hydrogen peroxide to me wounds! Thanks again!

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Today, my grandpa set out snare traps to catch the foxes that have been around our property, because he wanted to protect our dog from being attacked by them. I then got a phone call from my dad telling me our dog got caught in one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (2525)

On 07/31/2015 at 10:31pm - animals - by C_Ramirez1695 - United States (Texas)

C_Ramirez1695's comment about their FML

Unfortunately our dog has passed. It was a choke snare. I don't blame my grandpa he loved our dog just as much as we did, he was only trying to protect him. I don't know where you're from in the world but foxes and coyotes are not harmless. Our dog was a little shih tzu and a fox or coyote wouldn't think twice about attacking him.

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Today, on my second day at my new job, a customer called my manager with a complaint about me. He said I put the cheese "upside down" on his sandwich, and that made it taste bad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25439) - you deserved it (1684)

On 07/31/2015 at 6:56pm - work - by LexiD19 (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

LexiD19's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here! I just started working at Subway a few days ago, so my manager is still training me on the "ways of being a sandwich artist." While making this man's sandwich, I put the cheese longest side facing each other in order to cover all the meat evenly. Well, a few hours later, my manager gets a call from the same man complaining about the cheese being "upside down." My manager thought the whole situation was hilarious and enjoyed telling all of the employees the story. She assured me I didn't do anything wrong and I've been doing great the past few days.

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Today, as if having an old man shit on the floor of the busy restaurant I work at wasn't bad enough, my manager made a video commentating over the camera footage of me discovering said giant pile of shit, and shared it with the entire staff. This is going to haunt me forever. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (1808)

On 07/31/2015 at 1:36am - work - by StargazeKitsune (woman) - United States (Montana)

StargazeKitsune's comment about their FML

Hey guys! OP here! So the burning question here is whether I had to clean it. I was *supposed* to help, but I gagged everytime I got within 10 feet of it, so I was spared for everyone else's sake. We didn't need two messes to clean...the video itself is a little embarrassing because I had literally NO idea what to do. (Never been trained in shit scenarios, surprisingly....), but everyone has good humor and their own horror stories to accompany it so it's pretty much like I've just become the weirdest celebrity ever. His commentary WAS really hilarious, though I'm not sure if he'll be posting the on Facebook or Youtube. He said he doesn't want one of his friends to see it and go "OH MY GOD THAT'S GRANDPA JIM!" But I have a feeling it'll still live in infamy for a while. Anyways, thanks for all the jokes guys! I've been laughing all day. I'll have to show this to everyone at work so they can get a kick out of it too. ;)

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Today, I was detained for trying to "illegally enter" my house, all because my parents forgot to tell me they were being evicted. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26492) - you deserved it (1580)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:38pm - misc - by College_Grad (woman) -

College_Grad's comment about their FML

OP here. I just graduated in May and have been working 2 jobs (one full time in my field and one part time for extra cash) since a week after I graduated. I am almost never home. I am moving to my own apartment at the end of August. I paid rent, car payments, and utilities to my parents every week because I'm a big girl, planning my own family. I have no idea what happened exactly, but someone called the police because I tried to unlock the front door after I came home from work.

Everything is ok. We're ok.

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Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22542) - you deserved it (2288)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:42pm - kids - by Liamj774 - United States (Massachusetts)

Liamj774's comment about their FML

OP here, first off, I'm glad this got posted. I was at the game and the little girl was about 1 or 2 years old. For the entire game she looked happy as can be, until I smiled at her. Her face went from the happiest on earth to the saddest thing you could find. Just the change of emotion made me feel terrible. But yeah, probably just another child being a dickhead now that I think about it.

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Today, I decided to start jogging to keep fit. I was passed about ten times by the same car, carrying four bozos whose vocabulary consisted only of, "TITTIES!" and copious amounts of giggling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25920) - you deserved it (2056)

On 07/27/2015 at 1:35am - health - by dole_dosser (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

dole_dosser's comment about their FML

I tend to walk my dog at night, when there are fewer distractions and prejudiced people around to have to deal with. I like to think she keeps the shady figures away when she stops and growls as we pass dark alleys and side passages.

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Today, I found out why my girlfriend was so excited to get to see me. She finally got to end the relationship she didn't want anymore. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24105) - you deserved it (1672)

On 07/26/2015 at 11:51pm - love - by BandAid1865 - United States (California)

BandAid1865's comment about their FML

Hey OP here. To help clarify some things. To those that were confused, yes she broke up with me. Apparently she didn't want the relationship to begin with. Thanks everyone for the support, but please keep the comments clean. She might have broke my heart but that doesn't make her any less of a person.

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Today, I was hanging out with my neighbor. He asked me if I wanted to play Twister, and I said no because I thought it would be weird. What was his response? "C'mon. You can leave if it gets sexual". FML


I agree, your life sucks (24063) - you deserved it (2074)

On 07/24/2015 at 7:20pm - misc - by mcore - United States (Ohio)

mcore's comment about their FML

To explain a little bit more, I've known my neighbor for almost 10 years. We were best friends growing up, and are still really good friends today. I'm pretty sure he was joking when he said it, but it was still weird and out of the blue. And for the person who asked, no, I definitely did not play.

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Today, my boyfriend gave me serious shit because I couldn't name 10 Pokémon. He said he even considered dumping me. Glad to know he has his priorities straight. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you deserved it (11174)

On 07/24/2015 at 5:51pm - love - by KatzVKatz (woman) - Slovenia (Novo mesto Urban Commune)

KatzVKatz's comment about their FML

Hey, I didn't think this would get published, but here it is! Now for some explanations:

1. I did watch Pokemon when I was younger and I liked it. When he dared me to name 10 first gen Pokemon I was sure I could do it ... Guess my memory is not that good, but I already know that :D
2. He did admit eventually that he was sorta kinda joking. I knew he couldn't be serious about dumping me, but he did take the joke a bit too far, like yelling at me and sulking for half an hour.
3. I do take interest in his interests, we talk a lot about the games he plays and the series he watches, and do a lot of stuff together. We do have a lot in common. It's just that where he likes Pokemon to the point of fangirling about it, I'm the same with Harry Potter and Dr. Who.
4. I asked him to name ten spells from Harry Potter and he couldn't do it, so I guess we're even! Ha! :D

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Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I had a condom they could use. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30078) - you deserved it (2351)

On 07/22/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by oil300 - Australia (South Australia)

oil300's comment about their FML

Ahahah some of the comments here are pretty funny...but some are pretty weirdos

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