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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I realized I pay $160/month to get two texts a day. One from my bank telling me how much I have, one for my credit card telling me how much I owe. FML

#20885637
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32019) - you deserved it (5860)

On 09/17/2013 at 7:56pm - misc - by BeautifulChaos27 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

BeautifulChaos27's comment about their FML

Okay, first off, I am a women.

As for the fml, I was complaining that I pay such a high price to get those two texts a day and the occasional phone call from my employer to cover a shift. Expensive paper weight is what it is and I'm stuck in a contract.

With the debate on price, yes, very expensive. I get unlimited text as well as calling (god knows what for), and 1 gig of data which I never use up since I'm almost always in wifi. I do in fact have somebody on my plan with me but that only adds another 10 dollars a month to my bill. There's also insurance on both phones, considering they are smart phones and I'm a bit of a klutz. I know I could always shop around with other phone competitors but living where I do if you so much as want service in your home you have little choice.

Any more questions? :P

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Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

#20885437
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33266) - you deserved it (6086)

On 09/17/2013 at 5:27pm - misc - by AwkwardPartyBear (woman) - United States (Florida)

AwkwardPartyBear's comment about their FML

I feel that I should have explained a bit further about the trip. A group and I went for charity causes (sort of like a Meals on Wheels world tour donation- just with a group). We could have shipped goods, but as someone said in the group, "it took out the adventure in the purpose". Although, we didn't explore as much as we meant to.. and instead donated/volunteered in different charity events throughout the year in different cities/countries. I'm happy among the fact that we helped the cause, but it was not much of a world-adventure as some FML commenters picture it. But I did buy a shitload of Twinkies and embarrassed myself hugging the boxes while crying rivers in the middle of the gas station.

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Today, I noticed that my new colleague never laughs. Instead she says, "LOL". I have to work with her every day. FML

#20884887
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37169) - you deserved it (2487)

On 09/17/2013 at 4:26am - work - by Jienaf (man) - Malta

Jienaf's comment about their FML

Hey guys! Can't believe this got posted! Some of the comments were hilarious, others were downright mean! Let me clarify something, which I believe would shed some more light on the story. She is a very sweet person and you wouldn't ask for a better colleague actually! I actually got round to tell her to stop saying LOL (as in, LOL not L.O.L hehe). That's where started laughing and admitted that she knew that it was annoying and did it on purpose to jokingly annoy her colleagues :) So guess the joke was on us after all :)

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Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

#20884879
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48796) - you deserved it (3278)

On 09/17/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by TaraBURGER (woman) - United States

TaraBURGER's comment about their FML

My parents still think that I'm trying to replace them. I don't think they understand that this woman is only technically my mother. She isn't my mommy and never could be.
I also found out I have a little sister, which is kinda cool. I haven't even told them about her. I'd get booted out of the family tree.
I tried to talk to my parents about it, but they just shut me down every time and pulled the whole, "Are we not good enough for you?" bullshit on me. I went on Facebook and found her right away. She's a very nice lady, but I still just call her by her first name. Like I said, she isn't my momma.

Also, I saw something on here about the real mom vs. biological mom debate. Personally, I think saying "real mom" is a bit weird. My real mom is the one that changed my diapers, read to me at night, and comforted me when I came home from school crying. I think biological mom is less offensive to adoptive mothers. I have and will never use the term "real mom" to describe my biological mother.

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Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41970) - you deserved it (7408)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

meganmagee's comment about their FML

don't worry. Mr. Shelly has taken residence my daughter's kiddie pool.

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Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41970) - you deserved it (7408)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

meganmagee's comment about their FML

After maxing out our credit card on a salt water tank, Mr. Shelly has a permanent home here with Megan, Tony, and Ansleigh Magee.

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Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

#20883544
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49277) - you deserved it (2993)

On 09/16/2013 at 8:49am - love - by Stheno - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Stheno's comment about their FML

Sorry it took so long to write back I didn't know my FML got posted :)

Now to explain a little. It turns out his trail wasn't fair and the reason he was found guilty was because his cell mate made a deal to get out of being sentenced if he lied about my step father admitting to murdering someone. His da also turned out to be an alcoholic. There is no evidence connecting my step father of the murder and now we're working on getting him released :)

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Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

#20883120
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44831) - you deserved it (3903)

On 09/15/2013 at 10:49pm - animals - by alexbrooke (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

alexbrooke's comment about their FML

Hey! OP here! the cat actually was wrapped around the Serpentine belt! No.it did not survive, and my car is in the shop, being cleaned out with a new belt. Sad thing my son was in the car, he kept saying Mommy! what is it?! The cat has been lost, I actually hadn't drove my car for a couple of days so I'm not sure how long it was actually in there. I am surprised how.many people this has happened to, glad it wasnt just me!

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Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

#20882920
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40275) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/15/2013 at 8:43pm - love - by blzrdsgrl - United States

blzrdsgrl's comment about their FML

Turns out...she thought I was joking because "I'm never serious"...

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Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

#20882407
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36359) - you deserved it (7690)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by LolAtMyPosts (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

LolAtMyPosts's comment about their FML

For those who care, no, I didn't give him my address, I'm not an idiot. He just knows the city I live in, because I'm sure I've mentioned it during a group chat. He and I are NOT in a relationship in any way, shape, or form. I barely know him. He's had this weird obsession with me for a while. We talk about once every other day, and have two types of conversations. The most common is: 'Hi, how are you? Good? Glad to hear you're good. Have a nice day.' And that's it. The less common and more creepy is him asking: 'Can I buy you stuff? Can I have your address so I can send you stuff? Do you like jewelry? I'm going to come visit you ;)' He doesn't know my real name, nor do I know his. He doesn't know what I look like, only what I sound like on a mic. We only know each other through our gaming community, and nothing more. :/

I have broken all ties with him, and deleted him off my friends' list (because that's the ONLY way he could contact me). Dude needs to grow up and get his head checked.

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Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

#20881880
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40536) - you deserved it (3906)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:05am - animals - by Madster15 - Australia (Victoria)

Madster15's comment about their FML

OP here, I actually found it rather cute more than annoying, when I'm out though the cats will be too. vasoline and Vicks on the tap? no thanks, that would make ME avoid the taps too. changing the faucets all over my house could be more expensive than anything. the cat puns....please don't. number 23 should also be shunned, cat hater. lastly, I should point out I have three cats because one was stray, if I give him to a shelter she will be killed because she is rather unfriendly at times.

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Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

#20881728
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42702) - you deserved it (4886)

On 09/15/2013 at 12:12am - misc - by sommmerrrr - United States (Virginia)

sommmerrrr's comment about their FML

I didn't think this would be posted so fast! But thanks for all the comments, they made my stepmom and me laugh our butts off. But we just went into a different line. Wasn't that big of a deal. But the granny didn't even say thank you! It was a little awkward seeing as they were so old but we still let that grandpa get in front of us. But thanks again for the comments guys!

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Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42637) - you deserved it (7424)

On 09/14/2013 at 11:30am - misc - by sammieshortcake - United States

sammieshortcake's comment about their FML

He was actually joking when he said it. I just thought it was funny because of the way he said it like he was being all romantic, so I submitted it. So stoked it got published!

And to the person who said yeah "our" favorite show-it was Game of Thrones, which is both of our favorite shows. lol

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