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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28835) - you deserved it (4560)

On 05/02/2015 at 12:36pm - misc - by coolster5000 - Canada (Newfoundland)

coolster5000's comment about their FML

OP here, I find all of your "shitty situation" comments very unoriginal;) but funny all the same. I ended up just telling them I went in and found the toilet like that, but I'm not sure they believed me whatsoever.

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Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34838) - you deserved it (3412)

On 05/01/2015 at 7:34pm - misc - by blemarooney - Ireland (Dublin)

blemarooney's comment about their FML

Hi OP here. Thanks for all the supportive comments.

I got my mum to go in and complain to my school but they kept insisting that 'rules are rules.'

So maybe bless you secretly means the answer is C but I will certainly never bless anybody when they sneeze in the middle of an exam again.

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Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36344) - you deserved it (3250)

On 04/30/2015 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by sianydiddle -

sianydiddle's comment about their FML

OP here! Can't believe this got posted! Let me shed some light on this.

This was a few years ago now, I was with this complete turd for a year, and it's safe to say he's an ex. He used me, and made me think I was going crazy when he used to stay out for whole weekends without so much as a text, and came back with hickeys. He used to tell me it was all in my head and I stupidly believed him.

With my 'friend', she was also his brothers girlfriend. His brother was with me when we caught them. She ran out of the house and never gave us an explanation, or an apology. She just ignored us, and to be honest, that suited me fine.

With him saying he wanted to be better for me, I had no frame of reference, so that was just a load of bullshit.

Silver lining in it all, I'm now with an amazing guy who treats me perfectly. My ex is still single from that day, no woman has been stupid enough to fall for him, which he deserves cause he broke my damn heart. Me and his bro are still friends. To all saying I should've joined them? No thanks, they seemed pretty contented with each other, which is great for them :)

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Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30695) - you deserved it (6835)

On 04/30/2015 at 2:15pm - misc - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria (Steiermark)

Iwtumn's comment about their FML

Good morning!
Thank you all for finally getting one of my FMLs published!
To answer the two big questions:
1. Why did I give my number to a stranger/random person/guy/... ?
Because he doesn't really seem like a serial killer and seems to have the whole package of good humour, brains and good looks and I had the hope thay maybe one day we could meet up and make some perfect little babies (or maybe just go and have a cup of coffee together). He is also not a (complete) stranger, we sit in the same lecture and have talked with each other in the past.

2. Why don't I block him?
Because I have the hope that all of this might be a drunk joke, since I know that he went out to party last night and some of the quotes kind of imply it (or maybe I am reading too much into them, I don't know). If it isn't, I still can do it later.

I like the idea of sending him something equally annoying back, should he continue to send them, I just have to find something suitable (I'm not really sure if I am willing to sift through the FSoG books to look for some good quotes and I don't want to start the whole science vs religion discussion, maybe I'll really go with the Shakespeare play... ).

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Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29774) - you deserved it (4381)

On 04/30/2015 at 2:04pm - misc - by henrylikestreats - United States (Arizona)

henrylikestreats's comment about their FML

All of these puns have me in tears, I swear. I am currently growing out my hair after cutting it all off to be donated. It has gone through every awkward stage imaginable, including the constantly-in-my-eyes stage, the is-it-long-enough-for-a-ponytail stage, and, of course, the mullet. After a few weeks of dealing with the mullet, I decided to cut it, and that is how I ended up with this mess. I have heard Shrek quotes everywhere I have gone since and I can't stop laughing at myself. Thank you for making my night, everybody.

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Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML


I agree, your life sucks (33784) - you deserved it (5268)

On 04/29/2015 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by Ixlovexwaffles (woman) -

Ixlovexwaffles's comment about their FML

I would have laughed it off had she made the post a week later, it's the fact that I told her specifically not to post anything or talk to anyone about it for at least a few days so I could announce it to everyone else. She knew I told her first. It's the fact that that is how it was announced.

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Today, after recently getting my car fully serviced and fixed, the horn has decided to spontaneously beep. To stop the beeping I have to press the horn hard, making it look like I'm purposely doing it to piss people off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27072) - you deserved it (2189)

On 04/29/2015 at 11:34am - misc - by lorb101 - Australia (Victoria)

lorb101's comment about their FML

I booked in next week to get it looked at- hopefully it behaves until then!! It just gets super awkward because I'm a 22 year old female and so not the usual candidate for a cheeky drive by beeping!! Thanks for all your concern guys!! Xxx

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Today, my father tried to excuse his alcoholism by saying that his stomach stops working, and he needs to drink vodka to get it started again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26781) - you deserved it (2089)

On 04/29/2015 at 2:37am - health - by TJRoy - Australia (New South Wales)

TJRoy's comment about their FML

He is Croatian, and he was sober. He 100% believes it's true and has said it on several occasions.

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Today, my fiancé called me 'thick' for not realising he'd been sleeping with his ex earlier. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32456) - you deserved it (2960)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Jennandco (woman) - United Kingdom

Jennandco's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here! Yeah hahah, it was just funny because literally 5 minutes before hand, I questioned whether he had, because I had my suspicions and he had a huge go at me for even suggesting it.

I'm basically 'thick' because I didn't figure that when we were arguing about his number of jobs, he said 'at least I'm not an unemployed prick' he was talking about his actual genitalia, rather than just his employment (we weren't having sex because I was still recovering from an operation because I had been really ill)
I didn't want to believe it because we had been on/off for 6 years and he really meant a lot, but then he showed me their messages discussing their sex just to hurt me further, but then expected me to get over it. So I guess then I kind of had to, huh?
But it wasn't the first time he had done that, first time I tried to get over it. Not this time.

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Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32512) - you deserved it (3751)

On 04/27/2015 at 10:20am - misc - by Junkiegamer - United States (Texas)

Junkiegamer's comment about their FML

Hey it Op, for one I am a male. The break-up wasn't fun, but it wasn't horrible. We lived together before hand because we go to college together and I offered to let her new girlfriend stay here, because she had nowhere else to go. I'm not sure what the word is but my ex loves people for who they are, gender doesn't really to her

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Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML


I agree, your life sucks (35837) - you deserved it (3052)

On 04/26/2015 at 2:49pm - misc - by guitarki (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

guitarki's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here. I made an account so that I could comment. When it happened, there was nothing I could say to her to make her stop. I asked her several times to please stop talking about it, and I was so embarrassed, but she wouldn't listen to me. I ended up just getting my stuff together and leaving. I'm not very close to the people in the group, so I felt uncomfortable with being so exposed to them. I talked to her afterwards in private and told her that it was really uncool of her to keep talking about it when I asked her to stop. She claimed that she didn't think it was that big of a deal, since when I told her at the time, I didn't say that it was meant to be a secret. I guess I just never thought to let her know that I didn't want her to blab to everyone about my personal issues. She also made sure to clarify to me that when she said it wasn't any of my business, she meant that it was not my conversation to butt into, even though I was literally right beside her. This incident made me realize that she really isn't a very good friend to me. She has never acted this way until recently, so I never thought to avoid telling her things. I do know that I'll definitely not be confiding in her anymore though.

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Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31038) - you deserved it (3562)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:42pm - animals - by queengarmin (woman) - United States (California)

queengarmin's comment about their FML

OP here! Just to clarify, I didn't intentionally antagonize him and he didn't intentionally bite me. I was playing with my neighbor's retired therapy dog, and whilst trying to pull a toy from his mouth, he chomped down on my finger. It was most definitely an accident, and though it hurt like hell, we have forgiven each other and we're friends again. And I've learned my lesson about watching my fingers while playing with a dog.

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Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26118) - you deserved it (8173)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by Bullet4MyChemaMo - Ireland (Cork)

Bullet4MyChemaMo's comment about their FML

Hi guys, it's OP! Didn't expect this to get published.

1. I meant trousers, not underwear. In Ireland, pants almost never means underwear. (Ireland is very different to the UK in terms of grammar use, vocabulary etc.) For the record, I was wearing underwear too!

2. I'm very, very close to my boyfriend's family as we've been together for a long time, and it's not unusual for me to chill in his house while he's at work. I feel completely at home there, as I am expected to by his family. When this FML happened, I had been asleep after staying over, and lazily threw on my boyfriend's sweatpants to go downstairs.

3. I was actually trying (and failing) to multitask by holding almost-boiling tea, my laptop, blankets, and a pair of shoes. The positioning of the objects in my arms made it physically impossible for me to set it all on the floor and pick it back up, and BF's dad had already seen everything by the time I would've pulled my pants up.

Everyone laughed about it after the initial embarrassment wore off, thankfully we all see the funny side!

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