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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

#20898986
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38146) - you deserved it (7206)

On 09/28/2013 at 10:38am - health - by wombats (man) - United States (North Carolina)

wombats's comment about their FML

Hello!

Yes, it's disgusting, but I assure you I am not disgusting myself.

I'm pretty sure they weren't there yesterday...I hope. :/ They were very, very small, so I agree with #48, #50 and #101 that they probably came into being last night. They had over ten hours, as I went to bed early and got up late. I immediately threw away my toothbrush, toothpaste and washed my toothbrush holder. I of course went out and bought a new toothbrush and new tube of toothpaste. I felt very self-conscious going out without having brushed my teeth, so I chewed on lots of sugar free gum. :P

I brush my teeth twice a day, as recommended by the ADA. I've actually replaced my toothbrush three times in the last three months for various reasons, including when I dropped one of them on the floor. I'm very conscious of my dental health. I keep my toothbrush upright in a glass (easier to see when it needs cleaning at the bottom...toothbrush holders themselves often have maggots or eggs in them. >_<), and I have a cover over the top of it (more on that in the next paragraph). When I flush the toilet, I always put the lid down because when you flush a toilet, it sprays particles of whatever is in there all around the room.

We've had a problem with small, irritating little flies just recently, and I'm 99% sure those little arseholes are responsible. I rinse my toothbrush after I use it, and then put it in the holder with a cover on it...and I think that contributed to this, by creating a dark, moist place for a fly to lay its eggs. I won't be using one of those anymore. It shall sit free, as obviously the cover wasn't doing a bloody ounce of good anyway.

This just makes me wonder what other delightful bugs land or crawl on our toothbrushes when we're not using them. :X I bet this happens more than we think, and the eggs just don't get a chance to hatch into maggots on the toothbrush. :P

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Today, I was cutting a client's hair, and she was complaining about how itchy her head was from having it too long. As I lay down my comb and shears, three lice bugs ran across my counter. FML

#20897424
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42359) - you deserved it (3112)

On 09/26/2013 at 10:33pm - work - by alexbrooke (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

alexbrooke's comment about their FML

wow! at a couple of these comments.
For one anyone who say I should have done a full inspection...really? You have had time to thoroughly inspect each client? You must have never been busy. I was so busy that morning I didnt shampoo my client, secondly I didnt even brush her hair out before i did the cut.
When she sat in my chair her hair hit thr floor. she asks for one length, straight across her back. now she had very dark hair and any cosmetologist knows its easier to see in lighter hair. I had a cutting comb so I must have brushed some out as i drug my comb down to length to do my cut check. I was almost on my knees trying to cut this hair.
Anyways its was properly handled, i left that station and everything there until the salon was empty and I used barbacide on the whole place and my utensils.
Plus any cosmetologist knows once I start cutting that head, I cant stop even if I see the infestation, I have to finish, and follow company and state guidelines.

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Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

#20895913
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36692) - you deserved it (2774)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:30pm - misc - by AnAwesomePerson7 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

AnAwesomePerson7's comment about their FML

Hey, it's OP.

Okay, so first, Wow, I didn't think this would get posted. I told this story to my friend and she told me it would make a great FML. I wasn't so sure...

Anyway, So in detail this is what happened because there are a few questions going around..

I got to the bus late, so there were no seats left. The creepy kid saw and said that I shouldn't worry because he saved a seat for me again. I sat down next to him, not wanting to be rude. He's really awkward and doesn't like to talk to people, so I thought maybe if I followed him on twitter he'd take it as a good thing, maybe.. I don't know. So I did. When I did, a notification popped up saying he was doing a live feed. Being curious, I checked it out to see what exactly he was filming on the bus. (I was so fixated on my phone, I didn't know he was filming me...) And so, yes, it was of me. I didn't do anything because the next stop was mine. I haven't seen him for a while though, since I'm a little scared to take the bus again. Haha,

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Today, I bought some really expensive face wipes that were supposed to cure my awful acne. I was excited to use them until I found out my mom had used them all wiping down her car. FML

#20895537
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40330) - you deserved it (2772)

On 09/25/2013 at 11:07am - health - by Bianchitis - United States

Bianchitis's comment about their FML

Thanks for the comments, they made me laugh.
First of all, I have tried a bunch of different acne medications and none of them worked so I tried these new wipes that got recommended to me. They are actually full size and it's not super obvious that it's a face wipe. So my mother, who loves to keep her car clean, picked them up off of the table and wiped her car with about 90% of the wipes. I did confront her about it and she apologized but she hasn't gotten me new ones...
Thanks for the acne advise, I'll be sure to try some of them.

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Today, I realized that my grandma has pictures of all her grandchildren all over her house, with one glaring exception: me. FML

#20894398
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35463) - you deserved it (2817)

On 09/24/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by saraitkddh (woman) - Lebanon

saraitkddh's comment about their FML

Thanks everyone for your support :)

To make things clear, I am gonna answer some of your questions.

First, I am the youngest child and the only daughter of her first child. Second, she has 22 grandchildren and I visit her regularly. Third, she has more than one picture of me but she just put them inside the drawer. she always ask my cousins for pictures of them, and my mom once offered her to give her new pictures of me but she ignored her. She even has pictures of her immigrant grandchildren whom she never met before or know how to speak their language. And no, I am not adopted, I am old enough to know that.

I just don't know why she is always cold and mean to me.

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Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37708) - you deserved it (3043)

On 09/24/2013 at 7:15am - work - by MymB612 (woman) -

MymB612's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, OP here :)

Thanks for the funny comments, it IS a weird situation, you have no idea what it's like to try to convince the HR lady that "porn site were appearing on my desktop and I have no idea who is doing it or how it's being done" :P
Let me clear a few things up (since the debates were polarized around change your password / install nanny cam / take laptop home):

1- Our login passwords are company issued and the IT change them every 6 months. If I want to change it I have to submit a formal request to the HR department, and since the lady didn't believe me back then, it wasn't an option to change it.
2- I did think about the nanny cam and wanted to get one so i could catch the culprit but the situation was solved before i had a chance to do that.
3- About taking the laptop home, not an option since they are extremely stingy and attached to their stuff (we actually have to send a friggin' email if we want pens or paper...) so they would have had that "HOW DARE SHE" look if i had suggested it :P


Turns out the HR department got another complaint of the same nature from an employee from another floor, and since there were now two complaints they decided to investigate, and lo and behold, the most typical of twists... IT WAS THE JANITOOOOR

They haven't said much yet, like about how he got the passwords (i'm guessing mopping behind us while we log in or something, we never really thought to notice if he was looking) and obviously he had keys. Still don't know why he picked our laptops, or why he didn't just look for porn elsewhere :/ or why he didn't just close the windows when he's done or whatever... Hopefully we'll find out more.

So there you go :)

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Today, I got a text from someone I met last night at a bar. We texted all day and planned to meet up later. The whole time I had in my mind who he was, but when we met up it was someone completely different that I didn't remember. I had to sit through the whole date pretending I knew him. FML

#20892661
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19927) - you deserved it (30918)

On 09/23/2013 at 4:23am - misc - by MixMastaKDizzle (woman) - United States (Colorado)

MixMastaKDizzle's comment about their FML

Uhh no. You don't know the full story so don't jump to conclusions. I live in a tiny mountain town, and the guy I gave my number to I had seen many times before. The guy that I was actually texting, however is someone random that I didn't know and didn't give my number to. I did, however, have fun once I got past the initial shock. It has NOTHING to do with looks. If you make me laugh and are and intelligent gentleman, then I like you.

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Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML

#20892597
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38499) - you deserved it (4256)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:27am - work - by peejay6831 (woman) - United States

peejay6831's comment about their FML

I wear a mandatory black polo at work that's easily a quarter inch thick, seeing through it isn't even possible! I just told him to have a nice day.. pretty sure he missed his meds

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Today, my grandma threw away my clear retainer thinking it was plastic from packaging. She has done this three times now. They cost 300 dollars to replace. FML

#20891969
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33449) - you deserved it (6633)

On 09/22/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by peacechick71 - United States (Michigan)

peacechick71's comment about their FML

Hey guys OP here. To answer some questions, yes I have told my grandmother various times that I have a retainer, and that it looks like packaging and to not throw it away. I do keep it in a plastic case but I only wear it at night so when I am out shopping for her or walking her animals she snoops in my stuff. I have tried keeping it in my room to keep away from her but the door always "accidentally" opens and her animals find it and play with it because animals like the saliva taste on the retainer, it is then she thinks it's packaging and throws it away.

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Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

#20891477
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41913) - you deserved it (4136)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:22pm - kids - by msmidnight1965 (woman) - Canada

msmidnight1965's comment about their FML

We have those orthodontic ones that help with oral development. They also resemble the nipple during breast feeding.

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Today, I found my brother wearing nothing but underwear. That would have been okay if it weren't my lingerie. FML

#20888568
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39837) - you deserved it (2685)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by ImTheD0ct0r - United States

ImTheD0ct0r's comment about their FML

Hey op here. I loved all the comments. They were really funny. And I did throw away the lingerie. The worst part was it was my favorite pair so I was sad I had to throw it away.

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Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

#20888068
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33205) - you deserved it (2530)

On 09/19/2013 at 6:23pm - work - by madden2014 (man) - United States (California)

madden2014's comment about their FML

OP here. For those of you who are curious, I work at a public high school teaching English. The class of interest here was my Advanced Placement English Literature and Composition class (made up of SENIORS). The issue came up because a sample practice objective test I passed out had referenced some biblical stories and a couple of students had questions on it.

He still thinks Solomon is in one of his Pokémon games.

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Today, the water went out at my house, so I resorted to taking some stuff and showering at my old dorm instead. While in the shower, I realized I'd stupidly forgotten to bring a towel with me. I had to spend ages drying my whole body with tiny paper towels instead. FML

#20887852
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32354) - you deserved it (12153)

On 09/19/2013 at 3:16pm - misc - by Schizomaniac - United States

Schizomaniac's comment about their FML

Lol sucks, op.

Oh wait...First off: Kali, fuck you.

Now that that's out of the way, I got into the dorm building by waiting outside for someone to come out, as my ID no longer works. I phoned my old roommate but he was still happily asleep. Everything leading up to the paper towel moment was pretty hectic. I was on the verge of being late for an important class and when I got to school, my normal parking lot was full. LSU parking is a biznitch. The scene played out pretty much how pistachiopanda described it. It was pretty dramatic.
On the plus side, "Make a Man Out of You" came on Pandora as I was driving to school. Silver lining.

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