Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today... I was it wit a sudden onset of diarrea and ad to use te wasroom on te train. As soon as I pulled down my pants... my worst nigtmare cummed true... as someone opened te door and exposed me to te oter passengers. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34226) - you deserved it (4407)

On 09/19/2014 at 9:20pm - misc - by Bebbo - Canada (Ontario)

Bebbo's comment about their FML

Hey guys, op here, the GO train and Via Rail have washrooms. In this case the GO, this particular washroom was on the first level in front of the entrance to the train. And yes the washroom has a lock and I thought I had locked the door, even tested it. Mind you, the passenger who opened the door seemed to have put a lot of strength behind opening the door. So people beware, the go locks aren't that strong!

See all the comments



I agree, your life sucks (34058) - you deserved it (3485)

On 09/19/2014 at 8:52am - misc - by jewelthewat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

jewelthewat's comment about their FML

I was on a holiday to see my long distance boyfriend in the UK. We took a bus to go see a movie that evening, but a bunch of school kids had to take the bus too. Apparently this guy knew my boyfriend from when they both still attended the same high school and he thought he was funny.

We had a really weird conversation, this guy and me, but apart from weird and a little rude, he was also quite friendly and funny. The remark about my teeth was a joke too.

About my teeth, my upper jaw is a little too small so my canines are "on top" of my other teeth. It looks REALLY cool, but yeah, it's quite visible (especially when I smile, I look like a vampire). Thanks for all your comments guys, you're really sweet!

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from mah friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32170) - you deserved it (12360)

On 09/16/2014 at 11:18pm - animals - by blazon_paradox (woman) - United States (Michigan)

blazon_paradox's comment about their FML

In the area I live and work it's very possible that a stray cat will be less than healthy. And as I own two cats I also don't want to carry fleas or ticks home to them. Also, and mostly this I think, I don't want to be attacked by a rabid animal- Adorable kitten or otherwise.

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today , mah eight-year-old brother told his classmates that I have cancer . Nope , just really bad acne . FML


I agree, your life sucks (31944) - you deserved it (2367)

On 09/15/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Peeves - United States

Peeves's comment about their FML

OP here! My brother legitimately believed that having acne is the same thing as having cancer, but after a good talk with him about the difference between a normal teenage phenomenon and a life-threatening disease, I think he's straightened out his vocabulary terms. Oh, the bliss of being baby-faced and blemish-free! I told him he was lucky that he wouldn't have to worry about any skin problems for several years.

See all the comments



I agree, your life sucks (26705) - you deserved it (10512)

On 09/15/2014 at 5:39pm - misc - by Wingman527 - United States (California)

Wingman527's comment about their FML

You can actually, it's called school.

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, I sat in on a university-level pysics lecture, listening to ma yped-up co-students approximating te ypotetical situation of te Sun consisting of gerbils!! Te conversation ten continued towards looool ow muc better energy/mass ratio te gerbil-sun would ave compared to te actual star!! FML


I agree, your life sucks (25128) - you deserved it (3953)

On 09/15/2014 at 4:28pm - misc - by GallowsHumor (woman) - Finland

GallowsHumor's comment about their FML


I'm the OP. I realized I was reading my own FML and thus created this account.

To elaborate the story, these estimations are called Fermi problems and they're designed to teach dimensional analysis and approximation. They're typical in physics and engineering education and mine is a mix of both.

The gerbil-sun is actually an approximation presented by Dr. Larry Weinstein - a physics professor and co-author of 'Guesstimation: Solving the World's Problem's on the Back of a Cocktail Napkin'.
I believe the title should speak for itself... *sigh*... and that is exactly how it felt to be on the lecture.

It is not that I think that learning to approximate is something to be scoffed at, per se. Indeed, it is skill that all experimental scientists and other people alike do need and find useful - often in basic, everyday life. However this was the third lecture in the series and they all have gone more or less within the realm of vagueness, "hip" examples and little to grasp for the inevitable physics homework that doesn't solve itself.
On a related note, my lecture-mates also eagerly discussed the approximate number of piano tuners in Finland (in the original problem the place is Chicago) and at which height Felix Baumgartner might have broken the sound barrier during his sky-dive from the altitude of 39 kilometers (estimate).

As this endless drone went on and on, I sat there, bored out of my mind, desperately wondering if and when the tune of the lecture(s) would change and how the heck would I utilize this in the homework, most of which requires some actual and exact calculation, not just some half-baked estimates. Thus the FML.

P.S. There's actually a short article in about Weinstein and his gerbil-sun, and I must say it was way more interesting (not to mention less time-consuming) a read than listening my class drone on and on about it and the other Fermi problems for 90 minutes straight.

See all the comments including 6 other original poster's reactions

Today, after politely reminding mah husband to turn the bathroom light off after he's done, he did so. While I was on the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29374) - you deserved it (7756)

On 09/15/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by rightlessonwrong - United States (Texas)

rightlessonwrong's comment about their FML

OP here. I was on the toilet while he was brushing his teeth. After he turned the light off I said "Hello, someone still in here!" To which he replied, "Oops! Sorry Hun!" And turned it back on for me.

See all the comments

today I found mah son trying looool to comb his hair with scissors . He's the same kidho thought that if he ate toothpaste, he would never have to brush his teeth again . mega FML


I agree, your life sucks (35251) - you deserved it (4929)

On 09/14/2014 at 10:35am - kids - by berryjones11024 - United States (North Carolina)

berryjones11024's comment about their FML

Hello the OP here, in case you are wondering my son is 14, this what makes this bad. I had a talk with him about combing his hair with scissors, he said that since it had an edge he thought it would work just fine. He's not hurt in any way but if he was to hurt himself, I would have told him to figure it out. The eating toothpaste is a whole different story, I didn't know the purpose and he didn't know the purpose. I don't think he knew that toothpaste is poisonous if you ate it. Anybody want to adopt a kid?

See all the comments

Today.. . my girlfriend texted me saying.. . ( I have some Durex an want yur help ) so I rushed to her house . She had meant to say ( Dulux ) . I had to help her paint her bedroom .


I agree, your life sucks (37119) - you deserved it (11074)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Jamesfmled (man) -

Jamesfmled's comment about their FML

I wasn't just after the sex. We're just both very busy so when we get opportunities we make the most of them. And normally she tells me if we can't.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I confiscatd a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I looool could come close to affording. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38077) - you deserved it (3333)

On 09/11/2014 at 11:22pm - kids - by ElementaryEdGuy (man) - United States (Kentucky)

ElementaryEdGuy's comment about their FML

I work in a low-income school. Very rarely do we have students who have OLD (think Nokia brick) cellphones that are deactivated so that they can call the police if necessary. These students are usually our 4th & 5th graders who may be involved with activities after school. Occasionally we will have a student with one of those "cellphones" that can only be used to contact parents & police. Otherwise, this was a rarity.

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

I enterd the lecture hallhere mah class takes place. I sat in the front row as usual, but I noticd that none of the other students lookd familiar. I quickly realisd that I was in the wrong class after a different professor showd up an told me to get out. fat FML


I agree, your life sucks (33648) - you deserved it (7224)

On 09/11/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by iAmPaul (man) - Canada (Ontario)

iAmPaul's comment about their FML

Hey everyone,

Here's a bit more info: It's only the second week of classes, and I don't have my schedule completely memorized yet. I thought my class was at 1 PM, but I realised it was at 2:30 PM.

I thought the crowd of students outside the class was pretty different from last week's (my class is a computer class - comprised of mostly males); there were mostly females there. Went in the class with everyone, sat down, waited for the prof to show up. Instead, the prof for the actual class that was happening showed up and she put up the PowerPoint for some sort of psychology class. She looked at me and told me that I'd better get out before it gets too embarrassing.

I quickly and nervously packed up my things and rushed back out of the class while feverishly checking my watch and feeling the stares of 150+ students. Rookie mistake, especially for a third-year student like myself. >_

See all the comments including 8 other original poster's reactions

Today I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the personho swiped the back of my car. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34337) - you deserved it (9838)

On 09/11/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by lil_breezy - United States (Colorado)

lil_breezy's comment about their FML

Hey all. Just a follow-up as this was my FML. I left my house around 10:00pm and approached my car from the front, so I was not alerted to the damage around the back. The piece of paper was not immediately visible from inside, so it must have been tucked down securely against the hood. When I saw it flapping in the wind on the well-lit highway, I tried my best to slow and exit. Too late :( Nothing I could do. I've had better days.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, a guy tried to pick me up with the line, "You're ugly. Just kidding. You're my date." mega FML


I agree, your life sucks (38100) - you deserved it (3243)

On 09/10/2014 at 3:52am - misc - by thebigtwinkie - Romania (Bucuresti)

thebigtwinkie's comment about their FML

After thinking for a bit, I eventually thought he was kind of cute even though the line was absolutely awful, but he had good intentions so I faked a smile, not wanting to hurt his feelings.
Oh, and I'm so happy that it's published!

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: