Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, at Christmas dinner, my grandmother talked about the death of every single dog she ever had. All 10 of them. FML

#21323815
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29717) - you deserved it (2464)

On 12/25/2014 at 6:47am - misc - by dunn76 - United States

dunn76's comment about their FML

Hi I'm the op. To clarify, yes the dinner happened last night and so the 'today' thing is technically a lie, so sue me. My grandmother is 91 so she doesn't always have a filter as on what is appropriate to talk about. As to the 10 dogs, yes, there were times that she had 2 at a time. Most died of old age, but there were some that stuck out. One died because of cancer when she was a kid, another got hit by a car, and they had to put one down because she wouldn't eat because she was best friends with the dog that got hit by a car. Yes these were sad, but she is a good dog owner. She was tearing up when she was telling the stories. I love my grandmother very much and visit her at least once a week. As to the xmas mood, we decided to stop dinner and open presents to lighten up the mood for my younger sister. So don't worry, we had a good xmas!

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

#21323349
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30729) - you deserved it (4555)

On 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm - animals - by Mr_snuggels - Canada (Ontario)

Mr_snuggels's comment about their FML

Hello, OP here. I've notice quite a few comments similar to this. So, I'll set the record straight on why my cat is "bigger", instead of assuming I'm a bad "cat parent".
My cat has a metabolism disorder... Which means he doesn't have the same working digestive system as a regular cat. Which was caused by genetics from his mother, who was also an obese cat that also had a metabolism disorder as well.
He was always a bigger cat.
But now as he's getting older I've noticed his size increasing.
I have talked to the vet about this. Since, Micky (my cat) is in good health, she just suggested to slowly make my indoor cat an outdoor cat, to try to make Micky more active in his daily routine, we also made changes into his diet.
Every Time I let Micky outside I watch him, since he is not originally an outdoor cat. Therefore, it was a coincidence that Micky was feeling very adventurous as was trying to climb the fence, pooped himself, and fell in it. I agree, fuck the cats life... But, guess who had to clean the mess?

See all the comments

Today, I woke up while staying at my friend's house. I saw the bathroom light on, so for a laugh, I got up and quietly pennied the door. After laughing at him struggling to open the door, I decided to let him out. Turned out it wasn't my friend in there; it was his dad. FML

#21323324
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18120) - you deserved it (27440)

On 12/24/2014 at 2:23pm - misc - by PikidiliJo (man) - United States

PikidiliJo's comment about their FML

It was actually in the morning. I woke up and the bathroom light was on.

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, my school textbook's back cover ripped off. Not wanting to have my teacher find out, I glued the cover back together. Only after the glue dried did I realize that I actually glued the back cover upside down. FML

#21321598
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19222) - you deserved it (21909)

On 12/21/2014 at 4:15pm - misc - by JillianJuneBug (woman) - United States (Maine)

JillianJuneBug's comment about their FML

Hey this is OP, I made an account to comment and shed a little light on the situation. Yes, I go to public school, and yes we have to pay fines for damaged or missing books. The thing is, the back cover was only barely hanging on and it snapped off while I was taking it out of my bag. I put down in the original FML that it came off due to being worn.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

#21321334
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38866) - you deserved it (3255)

On 12/21/2014 at 3:30am - love - by gunnerette (woman) - Cyprus (Larnaca)

gunnerette's comment about their FML

#27 I actually don't live in my home country anymore so I don't think that would be the case. As for everybody else, thank you so much for being so understanding and supportive :)

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was fired for "smelling like garbage". I'm the guy who throws the garbage into the truck. FML

#21320742
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34725) - you deserved it (2468)

On 12/20/2014 at 4:25am - work - by Ajwc95 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Ajwc95's comment about their FML

OP here. I did so apparently. I'm going see if I can fight this though.

See all the comments including 12 other original poster's reactions

Today, the lady whose son I babysit sent me a text, saying she left a gift for me for all the hard work I've done. I found a beautifully-wrapped box where she said the gift was. It turned out my actual gift was cookies sitting right next to it. FML

#21320235
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27091) - you deserved it (3287)

On 12/19/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by 1dvos_grl3 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

1dvos_grl3's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, OP here. Let me shed a little light here. I was greatful she got me something to begin with! So don't say I wasn't, the sugar cookies were very yummy. It was just very misleading is all. And everyone curious what was in the wrapped present I didn't open it, there was a note flap on it and it didn't have my name on it. I texted her confused and she said it was the cookies. So yes I was greatful, and I'm a bit curious what she got 'Sara' too.

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32542) - you deserved it (3049)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

subversivepanda's comment about their FML

Hey guys! OP here! i realized that i forgot a detail. So usually, for our AP Literature exams, we get copies of practice AP exams from previous years (you know, the AP Exams at the end of the year). So for those, you literally CANNOT study. Like, there is no way to study for them since they cover practically anything and everything related to Literature.

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

#21319326
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47497) - you deserved it (2760)

On 12/17/2014 at 7:48pm - misc - by drbckflps (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

drbckflps's comment about their FML

I haven't read all the comments yet but thank you for your condolences. This is indeed the grandmother of my son and no, she didn't take the holiday as a way of grieving - it was purely opportunistic. She wasn't even polite to us at the funeral: her words to me were, "In six months when I get back you'll have forgotten this whole thing ever happened." Very disappointing. Thank you all again. I'll reply again when I get a chance to read some more comments.

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, my boss heard a rumor that I was in a relationship with a fellow co-worker. He assured me that inside relationships weren't against any store policy, so I confirmed it. He then fired my boyfriend anyway. FML

#21318814
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31419) - you deserved it (4977)

On 12/16/2014 at 10:31pm - work - by thankssomuch - United States (Maine)

thankssomuch's comment about their FML

Hey this is the Op.. So many great comments haha. I completely regret confirming it, it was like I walked into a trap. I'm going to talk to my head boss though because it's kind of ridiculous

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

#21318538
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28622) - you deserved it (2985)

On 12/16/2014 at 1:42pm - animals - by MisUnFortunate - United States (Washington)

MisUnFortunate's comment about their FML

Hi, I posted this FML. So the goats have escaped their pen and climbed onto the shed roof, don't ask me how because I have no idea. They also attack the watchdog we got specifically to watch them. Poor guy. If my mom didn't like having goats so much I'd have already sacrificed them to Satan, believe me.

See all the comments including 8 other original poster's reactions

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

#21318457
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (12312)

On 12/16/2014 at 9:31am - health - by Heyjai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Heyjai's comment about their FML

Hi everyone, OP here. Thanks for taking the time to read my post.

Just to clarify my "brilliance" in getting into this situation...it was my first day of a virtual class so I had configured the camera and mic to work about an hour before class started, and thought I had muted both...but apparently had not done these properly.

The hemorrhoids was particularly painful that day, and I didn't know if everything was ok down there, which is why I asked for spousal assistance before they left for work. i used the bed as it was easier to prop up on that than any surface in the bathroom. apparently several other students thought to set up their computers early too.

just my luck. I won't be making THIS mistake anytime soon...

See all the comments

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML

#21318290
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39105) - you deserved it (7547)

On 12/15/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by missca (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

missca's comment about their FML

Hey all I'm the OP, in hindsight I should have put that my Nan recently passed away, it was a couple of days earlier, and the website insists all FMLs are started with "today". Rest assured I didn't simply find out my Nan died and proceed to have sex!

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: